Finding Discoland #8

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- natalie portman turns into a mermaid -
(jay suddenly loses his fear of the ocean)

- sheep made out of hostess snowballs -
(are not as cool as goats made out of hohos)

- dumb dr. phil quotes -
(oprah? shoot...she ain't nothin' without me)

- mermaids and mermans world -
(it took you two-and-a-half years to figure that out!?!?)

- fat disco chicks -
(calm down, ladies...calm down...take a deep breath)

Finding Discoland #7

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- teen curse words -
($#%@ is still the biggie, but ^&#*@&^* hasn't been used since 1987)

- funny rhymes asking to homecoming -
(wanna go to the dance? i'll wear my cleanest underpants!)

- sneezed on the SAT scantron -
(yet somehow, still got accepted to Yale)

- they're not dumb they're just different -
(um...thanks?)

Finding Discoland #6

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- robin jay white -
(but eve very tan)

- dressed penguins -
(are not as annoying as chihuahuas in handbags)

- runny noses gas leak -
(we guess that's better than runny gas noses leak)

- lisa yee underpants -
(lisa, we'd really like to know why someone was searching for this)

- leprechaun yourself -
(no, you leprechaun yourself)

- is a blue jay stronger than a robin -
(no, but a happy jay is unstoppable)

Finding DiscoLand #5

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- Harry Potter karate -
(is someone at Scholastic hunting for Book 7 spoilers? hmm...)

- how do mermaids poop -
(just like everyone else...with a magazine and an overhead fan)

- pasta symbolism -
(he asked if you liked penne rigati on the very first date?)

- Eve's sex tape -
(honestly, it's just a look-alike...Eve would never wear those shoes)

- i said oh ow disco -
(this one came from the E.P.A.—seriously!—which explains what they've been doing with their time and resources lately)

- Hannah tan between the mountains -
(of course, that's only after she burned and peeled)

- how to clean up robin poop -
(it's not very different from jay and eve poop)

- easy ways to turn into mermaids -
(***see below***)

- mermaid camp -
(who wants to go?)

Finding DiscoLand #4

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- how do mermaids go to the bathroom -
(it's not as complicated as it sounds...although one of us consistently forgets to put the seat down)

- I need to borrow your panties for five minutes -
(not that we're selfish, but first you need to explain why you only need them for five minutes)

- pomegranate benefits related to carpal tunnel -
(see, we also serve your medical needs...)

- Mayim Bialik overdose -
(...as well as celebrity gossip -- say it ain't so, Blossom)

- Robin smelled me -
(what?)

- pulled my tampon -
(again...what?)

- mermaids gone wild -
(this pic should not be viewed with children in the room -- notice how she combined two of our looks into one?)

- Johnny Tremain low level reading -
(you've gotta be kidding, right?)

Finding DiscoLand #3

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- booty in spandex disco jeans -
(For crying out loud! We're serious children's book authors. Why would anyone get sent here for a picture of a booty in span...Huh? Oh, really? We do?)

- why did smokey night win the caldecott -
(Better question: What are you, stupid? Cuz David Diaz rocks!)

- things that happen at discos -
(Say it with me now..."Stay at discos.")

- star jones replacement on the view -
(If a Survivor castaway can make it, why not a Disco Mermaid?)

- information on sheepherding -
(Tip #23: Don't count sheep when you're tired. You'll never finish.)

- queen eve -
(Fine, we'll admit it. One of us Googled this phrase. Betcha can't guess which one!)

- the mermaid locker sandwich -
(Okay, people...minds outta the gutter.)

Finding DiscoLand #2

“Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for.”

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- how to make ganja vegetable oil -
(Dude, don't even bother telling us it's to cook with or run your car.)

- funny foot in mouth -
(So where should I stick my serious foot?)

- big hooters -
(Come on! This is the internet, not a pornshop.)

- platypus preacher -
(I bet he prays to a duckbilled deity.)

- how do mermaids give birth -
(Okay, ready for this? By Sea-section. HA!)

- images three mermaids teaching -
(So far, the only thing you'll learn from us is how NOT to get published...but how to have a blast while you're at it!)

Finding DiscoLand #1

"Seek and ye shall find…something TOTALLY different than what you were looking for."

Such is the case for those who typed the following words into search engines and discovered us. The Disco Mermaids!

- do mermaids go to school -
(I wonder if they offer Underwater Basket Weaving 101.)

- mermaids date people -
(That can be problematic. Ever seen Splash?)

- jay in goldilocks -
(Too many jokes here. Way too many! None of them appropriate...but all very funny.)

- mermaid strippers -
(no comment)

- root canal no novocaine -
(Hey! We’re not that bad, are we?)

- how do mermaids give birth -
(Interesting question. But an even more interesting question: Why do you care?)

- mermaids making love -
(And when you leave a comment, it’s like cuddling afterwards.)