Lesson #1: Write what you don't know.
Gee-whiz, people, if you write what you know, there won't be a whole heckuva lot to write about. But if you write what you don't know, then--jeepers--there's so much more to explore. Because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns; the ones we don't know we don't know.
Of course, this doesn't apply to me because there's not a heckuva lot that I don't already know.
*italicized words are an exact Rumsfeldian quote...but you knew that...at least, now you know that you know that. You know?
Friday, June 23, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Children's Lit. Myth #3
When asked why the world hasn't heard from Harold or his Purple Crayon in the past few years, 23% of respondents recalled hearing something about him drawing purple wings with his stick o' wax and then flying too close to the sun.
The Study on Children's Book Users & Useful Information (S.C.B.double-U.-I.)
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Track&Confirm&Track&... -- Jay
While I appreciate the U.S. Postal Service for introducing a line of stamps commemorating characters in children's literature, I don't appreciate their Track & Confirm option...because I just can't stop using it!
Whenever I submit a manuscript to an agent or editor, I always pay the extra 45-cents so I'll know exactly when it arrives at its destination. Most people use this service to make sure gifts arrive on time (if the gift's going to be late, you can call the recipient to let them know it's literally in the mail and pre-empt any disappointment). But I've never had a manuscript not arrive and I've never had anyone tell me they needed the manuscript by a certain date...usually they don't even know it's coming (I like to think of it as a pleasant surprise!).
When I learn that a manuscript arrived in a timely fashion (as one arrived in NYC on June 14th at 9:42 a.m.), then the real nervousness kicks in. There's still no way to know when the manuscript actually gets read. Why is it taking so long? Did it get lost in the slushpile? Are they taking it to an acquisitions meeting? Are they checking their bank account for the limit on what they can offer? Did they burn it, along with the SASE, and now I'll never know and just have to keep stressing?!?!?!
And then there's the agent who requested the manuscript by e-mail...
- Jay
Whenever I submit a manuscript to an agent or editor, I always pay the extra 45-cents so I'll know exactly when it arrives at its destination. Most people use this service to make sure gifts arrive on time (if the gift's going to be late, you can call the recipient to let them know it's literally in the mail and pre-empt any disappointment). But I've never had a manuscript not arrive and I've never had anyone tell me they needed the manuscript by a certain date...usually they don't even know it's coming (I like to think of it as a pleasant surprise!).
When I learn that a manuscript arrived in a timely fashion (as one arrived in NYC on June 14th at 9:42 a.m.), then the real nervousness kicks in. There's still no way to know when the manuscript actually gets read. Why is it taking so long? Did it get lost in the slushpile? Are they taking it to an acquisitions meeting? Are they checking their bank account for the limit on what they can offer? Did they burn it, along with the SASE, and now I'll never know and just have to keep stressing?!?!?!
And then there's the agent who requested the manuscript by e-mail...
- Jay
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Children's Writer's Love Fest --Eve
WARNING: SAP AHEAD
I love Jay and Robin with all of my heart. There, I said it. I’ve recently been musing over how lucky I am to share my world with them. We talk several times a day, go out to coffee/movies/dinner/lunch/ conferences/bars/dancing/bookstores whenever possible, share the same sense of humor, and think of each other as brilliantly funny. Jay shares my love of movies and Survivor. Robin shares my love of 20-something boys, red wine and toenail polish. My sister always says, “I wish I had a Jay and a Robin to hang out with.”
We often joke that searching for the right editor is like searching for a boyfriend/girlfriend. And you know from my Finding The Right Critique Group blog that I feel the same way about finding writers to hang out with. I want someone who listens, laughs at my jokes, and is honest with me about my writing (“Oh, no you di’int just write that!”), my outfits (“That skirt is so waaay showing your butt!”), and my dancing (“Oh my God, you’re sooo Fergie!”). And as much as we make fun of each other (See above statements), we really genuinely like being together. We also can talk about anything. And I do mean ANYTHING (But I won’t even go there because this is a family show!). What more could I ask for?
New writers always ask me how they should begin. I respond first with a suggestion that they join a critique group. I’m convinced no one can write in a vacuum. I’m lucky to have found wonderful critiquers that have become such great friends. I love that Jay, Robin and I can talk writing for hours, dissecting everything from what we liked/disliked about “Looking For Alaska” to which famous authors/editors we have crushes on to which celebrities we want to make out with (Did that last one have to do with writing? Who cares!).
Yes, we have the perfect relationship. One that has no doubt kept me on the writing path all those times I wanted to quit and go work at Cinnabon (used to dream of being a ‘Fly Girl’ but In Living Color went off the air.) So, THANK YOU, Jay and Robin…for being the wind beneath my wings, my rocks, my churros.
I love y’all, man! And not just because you are editing my novel as we speak. I swear!
--Eve
I love Jay and Robin with all of my heart. There, I said it. I’ve recently been musing over how lucky I am to share my world with them. We talk several times a day, go out to coffee/movies/dinner/lunch/ conferences/bars/dancing/bookstores whenever possible, share the same sense of humor, and think of each other as brilliantly funny. Jay shares my love of movies and Survivor. Robin shares my love of 20-something boys, red wine and toenail polish. My sister always says, “I wish I had a Jay and a Robin to hang out with.”
We often joke that searching for the right editor is like searching for a boyfriend/girlfriend. And you know from my Finding The Right Critique Group blog that I feel the same way about finding writers to hang out with. I want someone who listens, laughs at my jokes, and is honest with me about my writing (“Oh, no you di’int just write that!”), my outfits (“That skirt is so waaay showing your butt!”), and my dancing (“Oh my God, you’re sooo Fergie!”). And as much as we make fun of each other (See above statements), we really genuinely like being together. We also can talk about anything. And I do mean ANYTHING (But I won’t even go there because this is a family show!). What more could I ask for?
New writers always ask me how they should begin. I respond first with a suggestion that they join a critique group. I’m convinced no one can write in a vacuum. I’m lucky to have found wonderful critiquers that have become such great friends. I love that Jay, Robin and I can talk writing for hours, dissecting everything from what we liked/disliked about “Looking For Alaska” to which famous authors/editors we have crushes on to which celebrities we want to make out with (Did that last one have to do with writing? Who cares!).
Yes, we have the perfect relationship. One that has no doubt kept me on the writing path all those times I wanted to quit and go work at Cinnabon (used to dream of being a ‘Fly Girl’ but In Living Color went off the air.) So, THANK YOU, Jay and Robin…for being the wind beneath my wings, my rocks, my churros.
I love y’all, man! And not just because you are editing my novel as we speak. I swear!
--Eve
Monday, June 12, 2006
Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Writing I Learned from Spongebob—Robin
It’s great having a toddler because I get to spend endless hours watching Spongebob Squarepants. I figure it’s educational because it gives me lots of cute, funny stories to tell my four-year old when he’s done scrubbing the kitchen floors.
Excessive watching of Spongebob has taught me what I like to call the three P’s of writing…
1. Perseverance. Remember the time when Spongebob wasn’t able to pass his driver’s license test? (You love that one, too!?) Well, did Spongebob give up? No! He studied and studied until he realized he would have to have Patrick put a radio in his hat and tell him the answers. Well, for me, Eve and Jay are my Patrick. Only Patrick is a starfish and is very dumb. Which is why Spongebob never passed that driving test. But my Eve and Jay are no dumb starfish. Nope. They have taught me to never give up (usually after an “intervention” and usually at a Starbucks) and to persevere because it’s worth it. At this point, I don’t actually believe them, but they look so cute in their starfish costumes!
2. Passion. Okay, so Spongebob shows passion about a lot of things. His love of crabby patties, jelly fishing, blowing bubbles and studying for his driver’s test. But what’s the most important thing to him? Being the best fry cook he can be. The guy takes his job seriously. He would rather give Mr. Krabs his paycheck than to have to stop being a fry cook. And that’s how I feel about writing. I would be willing to pay some form of national writer’s organization something close to $60 a year, just so that I could be a writer!
3. Pfun. (silent p, but it’s still a p.) No one has pfun like Spongebob. Remember when he and Patrick bought a huge screen TV just so they could play in the box it was delivered in!? Then they explained to Squidward (using flimsy hand movements and a sparkly rainbow graphic…hmmm…) that all it takes to have fun inside a box is your “imagination!” That’s it, Spongebob! The key to successful writing: a box to sit yourself in (office) + your imagination (story writing) + gay innuendos (target audience) = PFUN!
Watching cartoons as a mother has helped my writing immensely. And my floors have never looked better!
--Robin
Excessive watching of Spongebob has taught me what I like to call the three P’s of writing…
1. Perseverance. Remember the time when Spongebob wasn’t able to pass his driver’s license test? (You love that one, too!?) Well, did Spongebob give up? No! He studied and studied until he realized he would have to have Patrick put a radio in his hat and tell him the answers. Well, for me, Eve and Jay are my Patrick. Only Patrick is a starfish and is very dumb. Which is why Spongebob never passed that driving test. But my Eve and Jay are no dumb starfish. Nope. They have taught me to never give up (usually after an “intervention” and usually at a Starbucks) and to persevere because it’s worth it. At this point, I don’t actually believe them, but they look so cute in their starfish costumes!
2. Passion. Okay, so Spongebob shows passion about a lot of things. His love of crabby patties, jelly fishing, blowing bubbles and studying for his driver’s test. But what’s the most important thing to him? Being the best fry cook he can be. The guy takes his job seriously. He would rather give Mr. Krabs his paycheck than to have to stop being a fry cook. And that’s how I feel about writing. I would be willing to pay some form of national writer’s organization something close to $60 a year, just so that I could be a writer!
3. Pfun. (silent p, but it’s still a p.) No one has pfun like Spongebob. Remember when he and Patrick bought a huge screen TV just so they could play in the box it was delivered in!? Then they explained to Squidward (using flimsy hand movements and a sparkly rainbow graphic…hmmm…) that all it takes to have fun inside a box is your “imagination!” That’s it, Spongebob! The key to successful writing: a box to sit yourself in (office) + your imagination (story writing) + gay innuendos (target audience) = PFUN!
Watching cartoons as a mother has helped my writing immensely. And my floors have never looked better!
--Robin
Saturday, June 10, 2006
The Pushy Gynecologist -- Jay
In my quest for representation, I’ve been asking my writer friends what they like about their agents. One author wanted to make sure I wasn’t offended that she didn’t offer to speak to her agent about me. She said name-dropping wouldn’t help because the work needs to speak for itself. And I totally agree!
This here’s a true story about how not to ask friends for agent-related benefits.
I used to be in a large writing group that covered all genres of literature. Each month, a member of one of the small-groups read from a piece they were working on. It was Children’s Lit time and I was asked to read. I read my chapter and then informed the group that not only had the manuscript just won SCBWI’s Sue Alexander Award, but it also landed me a big-time agent (obviously, I’m not with her anymore). Unfortunately, this news was delivered to a group that felt Children’s Literature was an oxymoron. So I heard many variations of, “That’s so adorable,” even though what I just read was a suspenseful scene.
One guy came up to me afterwards, begging me to send his manuscript to my agent. “But she only reps children’s books,” I said. This guy was a doctor who wrote medical thrillers (to be precise, he was a gynecologist who wrote awful medical thrillers). And though he had never spoken to me before, suddenly I was his chance to get a foot in the door...of course, he wanted to use my foot. “That’s okay,” he said, regarding my agent’s lack of interest in adult books that suck. “I’m sure she’d give it to someone who does represent them.” I told him, “That’s not how it works. You do the research and you submit to the appropriate agent.”
He found out where I worked and kept coming in, asking me if I’d changed my mind. I hadn’t. And I kept asking him why he was so focused on my agent when there were hundreds of other agents who would love a well-written medical thriller (which, right there, excluded his manuscript). At the following month’s group meeting, he told me that he sent the manuscript to my agent anyway, telling her it came with my recommendation. Was I angry? Yeah, kinda! I wanted to say, “I know this isn’t your area of expertise, but exactly how far is your head stuck up your ---?”
I guess the moral of the story is: Don’t get on an author’s bad side…especially an author with a blog!
- Jay
(And to keep ya up-to-date, I received e-mails from two agents this week requesting to see my YA manuscript...one being from the agent in the first paragraph!)
This here’s a true story about how not to ask friends for agent-related benefits.
I used to be in a large writing group that covered all genres of literature. Each month, a member of one of the small-groups read from a piece they were working on. It was Children’s Lit time and I was asked to read. I read my chapter and then informed the group that not only had the manuscript just won SCBWI’s Sue Alexander Award, but it also landed me a big-time agent (obviously, I’m not with her anymore). Unfortunately, this news was delivered to a group that felt Children’s Literature was an oxymoron. So I heard many variations of, “That’s so adorable,” even though what I just read was a suspenseful scene.
One guy came up to me afterwards, begging me to send his manuscript to my agent. “But she only reps children’s books,” I said. This guy was a doctor who wrote medical thrillers (to be precise, he was a gynecologist who wrote awful medical thrillers). And though he had never spoken to me before, suddenly I was his chance to get a foot in the door...of course, he wanted to use my foot. “That’s okay,” he said, regarding my agent’s lack of interest in adult books that suck. “I’m sure she’d give it to someone who does represent them.” I told him, “That’s not how it works. You do the research and you submit to the appropriate agent.”
He found out where I worked and kept coming in, asking me if I’d changed my mind. I hadn’t. And I kept asking him why he was so focused on my agent when there were hundreds of other agents who would love a well-written medical thriller (which, right there, excluded his manuscript). At the following month’s group meeting, he told me that he sent the manuscript to my agent anyway, telling her it came with my recommendation. Was I angry? Yeah, kinda! I wanted to say, “I know this isn’t your area of expertise, but exactly how far is your head stuck up your ---?”
I guess the moral of the story is: Don’t get on an author’s bad side…especially an author with a blog!
- Jay
(And to keep ya up-to-date, I received e-mails from two agents this week requesting to see my YA manuscript...one being from the agent in the first paragraph!)
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