Imagination Gone Wild -- Jay

What you don't see can be more terrifying than what you do see. Horror and suspense films use that cliché a lot. But it’s great advice for children’s book writers, too. And it’s absolutely true…as I recently learned.

A couple months ago, my wife and I were checking out a local nature preserve. The sign said Closed After Dusk, but we figured if we got caught, we’d just say we must have not seen the sign…since it was so dusky. After walking about a mile on a dirt path beneath a canopy of trees we saw a second sign. We leaned up close, squinted hard, and learned that mountain lions were often seen roaming the preserve and that they have been known to attack without warning! “Do you want to keep going?” my wife asked. But I wasn’t there. I’d already started walking back. My wife, Ms. Nature Lover, knew just what to do. “Don’t panic, but make lots of noise. That way you won’t surprise them and they’ll be less likely to attack.” “What kind of noise?” I asked. So she started yelling as we walked. “Hey, Mr. Mountain Lion! My husband’s afraid of you! He’s terrified! You’ve really got him freaking out!!!” I was walking really fast by then and I swear my wife was right behind me, intentionally cracking every twig in her path.

To round out the cliché, here’s what happened this weekend in Yosemite National Park. We honeymooned there four years ago, so for our anniversary we went back. On our way out of the park, my wife wanted to hop in the river at a spot with no one else around, recreating something we did four years ago. So we parked on the side of the road, found a tiny trail that led us across a meadow, through some trees, straight to an embankment that led down to a beautiful river. I had been walking a few paces ahead and started taking off my backpack. Glancing to my right, I noticed, partly hidden in the dark shadow of a large tree trunk, a massive black bear! It was just sitting there, admiring the beautiful river. They say bears don’t want to be seen by humans, so I was a little shocked that it was just…there. Maybe it was because my wife hadn’t been yelling, “My husband’s afraid of you! He’s terrified! You’ve really got him freaking out!!!” But there it was…about twenty feet away. Maybe it smelled my stockpile of almonds, pine nuts, and dried cranberries, but suddenly it knew we were there. And I knew it knew we were there because it turned it’s massive head and light brown snout right at me. My wife was still a few paces back when I turned around and (quite calmly, actually) said, “Bear. Let’s go.”

It was so weird, but because I knew the bear was there (and because I knew it saw us and didn’t start charging) I wasn’t freaked out at all. Okay, I started freaking out the further we got from it because I kept turning around imagining it jumping out of the trees and charging us across the meadow. But seeing it was…well...kind of cool. It was Yosemite National Park and it felt entirely appropriate to see a bear sitting there, admiring the river.

Anyway, my wife hated it. The entire ride home she kept saying, “It’s not fair. I’m Ms. Nature Lover, yet you get to see a black bear.”

Happy Anniversary, babe!

I Love My Job! --Eve

What other job in the universe could I possibly have that would allow me to:

A) Sit in my pink jammies ALL day
B) Drink café mochas ALL day
C) Have no “official” boss
D) Wander to Google-Earth, Classmates.com, and other blog sites during the workday, without anyone looking over my shoulder
E) Enjoy the “creative process” (i.e. napping, sunning in the backyard, walking the dogs) on my own time
F) Call a trip to B&N, to browse the new teen books and gossip with Jay and Robin, “research”
G) Go see “Wordplay”, “Little Miss Sunshine”, and “Snakes On a Plane” all in one week, and call it “research” (What?? There were TONS of teens in the theater watching “S.O.A.P”)
H) Talk to Jay and Robin 10 times a day, on the phone, at my house, at lunch, at dinner, during coffee, at the movies, on the phone again, IM-ing at midnight…all in the name of work
I) Attend multiple writing conferences a year, eat, drink, schmooze, dance, dress up like a fool, drink some more, stay up all night discussing, um, “writing” with Caldecott and Printz-winning writers and illustrators, and then do it all again the next day…all in the name of work
J) Have the permission to say, “I’m self-employed” or “I’m an artist” whenever people ask what I do for a living. They don’t need to know that I’m pre-published, only made $200 last year (for that little story I sold to Chicken Soup For The Dog-Lover’s Soul), and spend my days in pink jammies perfecting café mochas (and my tan!)

The only other jobs I would consider if this writing thing doesn’t work out:

A) Taste-Quality Technician at Cinnabon
B) Exotic Spa-Resort Reviewer (you thought I was going to say “Exotic- something else”…didn’t you?? Okay, maybe I’d consider that, too!)
C) Person who is responsible for “disposing” of the Mrs. Fields cookies that aren’t round enough or don’t have enough chocolate chips in them
D) Assistant to Colin Ferrell (or in the words of Libba Bray, “I’d love to get a job as Colin Ferrell’s ottoman!”)
E) Production assistant on anything having to do with Brad Pitt. Sorry, Angelina, I still love him!
F) Player on S N L (Hi, Will Forte!! Party on, dude!)
G) Pro Baseball player…’cause, I mean, c’mon! Money, travel, dudes in tight pants. Does it get any better than that?
H) Assistant to Kevin Sites…That hot man reporting for the “Hot Zone” via Yahoo. You know, the dude who travels the world reporting/blogging from war-torn countries all by himself. You know, the dude who pioneered “So-Jo” (Solo Journalism). I figure after five years of So-Jo, he could use a companion!

So, if anyone in the corporate Cinnabon, Mrs. Fields, Colin Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Yankees or “Hot Zone” offices is reading…call me. ;) I’m just sitting here in my pink jammies.

--Eve

Wha'chu Talkin' 'Bout, Greg?? -Eve

I once had an argument with my friend K.T. (Hi, KT!) about child stars. He insisted that they all turn out wacky when they grow up and I disagreed. Of course, when challenged to come up with a name of one who ended up normal, I couldn’t.

Apparently KT has been conferring with Greg over at Gottabook, because I just watched the movie he wrote, “Behind The Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Different Strokes”, and all I gotta say is…damn! It started off so happy and silly, then spiraled into a depressing black hole of drugs, arrests, assault, bankruptcy, unemployment, and, in one case, death by overdose.

Too many responsibilities and expectations at too young an age, well… aged them prematurely. Poor Arnold, Willis, and Kimberly, smiling for the cameras and perpetuating the romantic myth of child stardom, while watching their real lives crash down around them.

Whew! Okay, then. But watching it did remind me why I love writing children’s books so much. Spending my days immersed in Kid Lit is an escape from real adult world pressures. It reminds me how blissful and alive I felt when the biggest decision I had to make was which shade of red to choose from the jumbo Crayola box.

And I think Greg will agree with me. Although well-written and fascinating, the “Different Strokes” movie certainly made me thankful for my “normal” childhood, and even more thankful that I have a really cheery job!

Thanks, Greg!
And, KT, you were right...again. One less thing we have to disagree about.

--Eve

Disco Mermaids...At Work -- Robin

What you’re looking at is the newest “gig” Jay and I have been working on. Jay was asked by UCLA’s education research department to write entertaining assessments to test middle school students about algebra concepts. He brought me onboard because I used to teach algebra and I actually understand this thing called “math.” We hired Eve as our official cheerleader because she's always looking for an excuse to shake her pom-poms.

Then the folks at UCLA said, "Could you have your illustrator do it in a comic book style?” Our first reaction was…our illustrator!? I mean, Eve is a great artist, but she’s too busy jumping around yelling cheers. So who did we turn to? Our good friends at SCBWI. We got on the message board and sent out a holler for any illustrator who might be interested in illustrating algebraic equations with comic book characters. “We’re doomed,” we said to ourselves, often and repeatedly.

But we weren’t. By some miracle, that little query found its way to the eyes of one Mr. Bob McLeod. The dude has illustrated for Spider-Man and X-Men and, coincidentally, just published his first children’s book called SuperHero ABC (which also happens to be my four-year-old’s newest favorite book…it’s totally wonderful). Mr. McLeod is a new member of SCBWI and was glad to take on the project.

“Ohmagod, Ohmagod, Ohmagod,” we said often and repeatedly. Once we got over being star struck, we were able to move on to the task of creating a visual and fun way for kids to learn algebra. “So how did that go?” you may be wondering. Here’s my answer:

• Good because Jay is an Idea Man and I am a Reasonable Woman.
• Bad because sometimes Jay’s ideas are not reasonable.
• Good because, since I’m a girl and he’s a guy, we were comfortable saying things like: "That sucks. You can do better than that. What are you thinking!? Shut up. Seriously, shut…up." You just can’t say those things when it’s two women working together. Feelings would get hurt and hair would get pulled. I don’t know how it would work with two men. Not at all, I presume.
• Bad because Jay likes to look over my shoulder when I’m typing. And I hate that!! Sorry for that elbow to the nose, Jay.
• Good because Jay let me have a dog as one of the lead characters. It worked out mainly because Jay came up with a great mathematical name for the dog (Rexagon) but also because we made him interact directly with the reader.
• Good, again, because I think we came up with a great product. I love it, I’m proud of it, and I was so happy to work with you on it, Jay. One down and only 45 more to go, my friend!

Eve is in the background right now jumping into splits and spelling out D-I-S-C-O-M-E-R-M-A-I-D-S! We love your enthusiasm, Eve.

- Robin

(Check this out! It's our first 3-page installment of The Adventures of Half-N-Half and Their Dog Rexagon!)

This Ain't Funny -- Jay

I recently asked two of the most loyal Disco Mermaid readers for the number one reason they keep coming back. Both of them gave the same answer: to laugh. And that’s great. But this particular post ain’t funny. So, Robin and Eve, I hope you’re not too disappointed.

I love books about the writing biz. For inspiration, I re-read Dear Genius: The Letters of Ursula Nordstrom by Leonard S. Marcus or On Writing by Stephen King. For tips, I’ll review The Elements of Style by Strunk and White or Screenwriting by Richard Walter (seriously, the get-to-the-point and cut-the-fat approach of screenwriting helped my novel writing tremendously).

When tackling a new genre, I read as many books in that genre…or how-to books about that genre…as possible. Right now I’m thinking of writing a YA love story because there's NO emotion stronger than a teenager in love. My two favorite novels in that area are Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden and Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. But I’m having trouble finding a book about writing a teen romance. And that’s where things get very un-funny. I recently requested a novel from the library called How to Write Romance Novels That Sell. I’m not writing an adult romance, but I thumbed through it anyway and holy…frickin’…cow!

Here are a few of my favorite…actually, least favorite…passages:

• This intoxication is a way of including him in a rape scene and minimizing his responsibility so that the heroine--and readers--can remain sympathetic to him. Moreover, we do not blame the heroine for losing her virtue.
• The reader must not feel disgusted by the actual rape scene. Early in the “bodice-ripper” romance plot, the heroine is usually raped by the hero; and we must remain sympathetic with both characters.
• Though the reader feels good about the scene, the heroine feels guilt and anger. Her emotions make her at odds with the hero, who has caused her to lose control.
• Remember to keep rapes sensuous rather than explicit. Even committed by the villain, they should not outrage the reader. They are not presented as the acts of violence they actually are. Instead, they help to indicate that the heroine is a woman all men passionately desire.

When I was younger, I remember sitting in my grandma’s den with my brother and female cousin while the adults conversed in the living room. We attacked her bookshelves of romance novels and flipped through them till we came upon passages containing words like throbbing, plunged, quivered, and arched. Then we read them out loud, punctuated by giggles. But I don’t remember reading about rape. Maybe Grandma knew how to avoid those particular books, but obviously they were out there. So far, I’ve yet to find any YA books that treat rape as anything but the act of violence that it is.

Granted, this book was first published about twenty years ago. So while it may have little direct effect on today's literature, it does reflect what was read by the women who raised today's readers and writers. No wonder, when I was in high school, we had such a hard time agreeing on definitions for date rape and No!

Sorry. I’ll step off my feminist soapbox now.

- Jay

Ridiculously Cool #23

We told you Tomie dePaola read The dePaola Code and that he loved The dePaola Code. Now, on his very own website, he posted The dePaola Code!

That is so cool it’s ridiculous!!!

But do you know what would be even cooler than ridiculously cool? Winning your very own autographed copy of The dePaola Code! Better hurry...the contest won’t be open much longer.

Let’s make Tomie proud!