Remember When...? -- Eve

I went to the local high school recently to meet with the principal. I figured because it's been about 12 years since I graduated, I need to hang with the teen crowd as much as possible while writing my first YA book (a romance set in a California beach town like mine) for research purposes. So we discussed ideas for observing/volunteering/tutoring/teaching in the classrooms. Jay, Robin and I are planning a few fun surprises for the creative writing classes...hopefully they'll find us to be inspirational and entertaining and not narcissistic and boring!

Just sitting in his office with the inspirational posters, silly coffee mugs and massive windows facing the quad brought me back to my high school days. Not that I spent any of my school days in the principal's office. (Robin did! But that's another story.) I felt like a 16-year-old again as we talked about our favorite YA books and 80's bands. As the period bell rang, and we watched 2000 kids scurrying to their next classes while laughing, tripping and smacking each other, I suddenly felt really old. They looked like 8-year-olds compared to me (and I was even wearing my cool wrap-around dress and leggings!). Then I realized that the principal, who I had assumed was much older because he's a respected man of authority, was probably my age!

A few days later Robin, Jay and I took a trip down memory lane while having coffee with Robin's adorable mother, who's visiting from Georgia. She told a hilarious story about the worst thing Robin ever did in high school (it involves a blinking T-shirt and vomit...but you don't want to hear it, do you?). Also, when her mom was the Vice Principal, Robin got busted for writing swear words in place of real words while transcribing her favorite song.

Then Jay chimed in with his story about getting in trouble for creating an underground newspaper (full of false slanderous gossip about everyone in school), and how he had to read it out loud and apologize to every student, teacher, and janitor mentioned in it! I read a copy of his underground newspaper yesterday and it is sick and twisted and disgusting and evil and freaking hilarious!!

I was a model student as a teen, so I had no stories to add. I think the worst thing I ever did was help the teachers unload their picket signs when they went on strike, and the principal was mad at me. Seriously! I was a freakishly boring child.

After listening to the local principal's stories about things he's had to deal with in the last ten years (shootings, drugs, etc...) and comparing them to stories of our teen years, I got a little freaked out. Were we really more innocent back then? Are teens today crazier and scarier than we were? Or maybe every generation squawks about “those disrespectful youngsters...” and really nothing's changed except our perception of how innocent we were as teens. Maybe we just forget how crazy and disrespectful we were. But on second thought, no one at my school was toting a gun or making bombs.

Remember when...the worst thing anyone did at school was write some swear words on paper or create an underground newspaper?? Ahh, those were the days! What's the worst thing you ever did in high school? C'mon...you know you want to tell us. (I need it for “research.” Thanks!)

- Eve

Coffee Talk -- Robin

The other day I went into our hangout coffee shop, Linnaea’s, to meet with Jay and talk writing. As you may have noticed, Linnaea’s is like our own version of the bar in St. Elmo’s Fire (only with less beer and no one named Demi Moore or Rob Lowe…which is a shame, really).

Jay had been working furiously on his rewrites and his eyeballs were dashing back and forth, so I figured he needed a break. “Hey, I know! Let’s talk about MY book!” I said.

“Okay. What’s happening next in your story?” he asked with focused eyeballs. (So sweet!)

“Well, it’s going to get more exciting, and more, you know…well, it will have a climax and stuff, and then she’ll learn something, and then it will wrap up nicely and everyone will be happy.”

“Seriously, Robin. What’s going to happen next?”

I flopped my head on the small square table. “I don’t know! You caught me! Are you happy!?”

I went on and said some other things and Jay said it’s really not nice to call people names.

Once we got past the awkward silence, we were able to come up with some really great ways to finish my book. It was amazing. We talked and brainstormed literally for hours (I know because I got a parking ticket). What we came up with was nothing short of miraculous and now I know exactly what will happen next and exactly how it’s all going to wrap up! What a gift!

If there had been a fly on the wall during our conversation at Linnaea’s (or if Demi Moore had been on the wall, which would make this story a lot more exciting) here are some snippets of what that fly, or beautiful woman, would have heard:

• No, too cliché.
  
• Make sure she solves her own problem.
  
• Yeah, it’s funny but that’s something you would do.
  
• Again, too cliché.
  
• Would you stop eating my peanut butter cookie?
  
• Take out the part about the helicopter and the cliff rescue and the Channel 12 News crew, plus all the cliché parts, and you’re on to something!
  
• Wow! You took a long time in the bathroom. Is everything okay?
  
• No, overusing references to great literary works will not win you awards. Or readers.
  
• Seriously, you should put some money in the meter.
  
• Of course you can kill your main character. (Kidding. Right, Jay? You were kidding, right?)
  
• Is that Demi Moore on the wall?

Just then, Eve walked in and we told her how I never put money in the meter and how my car is probably being towed as we speak and how we spent the last few hours coming up with wonderful ideas for my book.

The girl didn’t miss a beat. “Great! My turn!”

- Robin

Carpal Tunnel Vision -- Jay

Why am I loving this so much? That’s what I keep wondering as I edit 13 Reasons Why. In the past, before I sold this book, I could take all the time in the world to tweak the elements of a work-in-progress. And I could keep on tweaking till I was satisfied, tired, or ready to work on something else. But now, there’s a deadline. There's an actual date--on the calendar!--after which I can’t tweak any more. On that day, the book has to be done.

It…has…to…be…done!

I’m adding scenes, rotating scenes, fleshing out characters, deleting scenes, and twisting the end. All the while, in the back of my head, a voice keeps screaming, “Don’t screw it up!”

And it's fascinating. It’s a puzzle I can totally lose myself in. If I add Scene A, I have to move Scene B into the next chapter. And if I do that, that chapter’s going to start a little slower which might make it lose some momentum (not good for a suspense novel). So maybe I can twist that scene a little, shorten it up, and make it move faster. And to flesh out Character A, I can change his relationship to Character B by adding this line of dialogue which will also make the last chapter, still 83 pages away, so much more intense. Oh, and remember, “Don’t screw it up!”

Between my critique group, my agent, and the people at Penguin, maybe a dozen people have read this manuscript in its entirety. But only a handful of them know the changes I’m putting into it. And only I know how it’s coming along. Which means only I know if I’m screwing it up…which is exciting and scary at the same time.

And I’m lovin’ it!

- Jay

Celeb Sightings! -- Eve

WARNING: While respecting artistic license in creative nonfiction is important, the following post may go too far. Eve tends to do that sometimes. So, in an attempt to avoid offending anyone or becoming "Frey-ed" for embellishing, I offer this disclaimer: This story is totally and completely TRUE up to the point where the Pretty Red-haired Gal walks up and says, "Um, hi." The rest is embellished and made up for the purpose of making fun of Eve and Jay and the fact that they are celebrities in their own minds. Read at your own risk. (The writer who approached Eve and Jay is a lovely and talented woman who was a joy to meet and chat with. She was not really starstruck, nor is she married to Colin Ferrell. Eve tends to include Colin Ferrell in all her stories for some reason.)

Last night while Jay and I clacked away at our computers at our little table by the window in Linnaea’s…our local downtown coffee haunt where we write all our books…a celebrity was spotted! Actually, two celebs. No, three. At our very own Linnaea’s!

After several silent hours of intense mind spinning and typing (Jay’s deadline for his first edits of 13 REASONS WHY is in one week!) our eerily quiet writing session was pleasantly interrupted by a pretty, young, red-haired gal who I had previously noticed cruising by a few times.

She slowly approached us and said, “Um, hi. Are you, by chance…well, are you the writer, Jay Asher?”

JAY (in a slow, deep voice several octaves lower than his usual one): Why, yes. Yes I am.

PRG (Pretty Red-Haired Gal): You’re in the Class of 2K7! I’m in the Class of 2K7!! I’ve read all about you. And your struggles, and your agent, and your auction. I’m Autumn Cornwell. I live in L.A. and I have a book coming out, too.

JAY: Of course I’ll sign an autograph. My book isn’t out yet…and I’m sure you’ll buy several copies when it comes out. But here’s a Linnaea’s napkin with my John Hancock on it. Run along now. I must continue writing. And no pictures, please.

AUTUMN (aforementioned PRG): Um, thanks. But I just wanted to introduce myself and…Oh My God! (looks at Eve) Are you…one of the MERMAIDS??

EVE (in a slow deep voice to match Jay’s): Why, yes. Yes I am. I have no book coming out yet. But would you like an autograph anyway? Or a picture? How ‘bout a picture? (Eve whips out a camera) Or my used coffee cup? Would you like to take home my used coffee cup? You can keep it!

AUTUMN: Um, K. Thanks.

Pause

AUTUMN: Well, I’ve got to be going now. We were just passing through on our way home. My husband’s waiting for me. Um…bye. (Autumn goes out to the garden area to retrieve her husband and it’s COLIN FERRELL! OMG!!! They exit.)

And it’s all true! Okay, the beginning part is true. We really did meet AUTUMN CORNWELL in the coffee shop, and she really is in the Class of 2k7. And you really should check out her website and debut book coming out in September 2007! Coolest title ever…CARPE DIEM. It’s an adventure story set in Southeast Asia involving backpacking and squat toilets! I LOVE squat toilets!!

Great meeting you, Autumn. It was so much fun chatting. We must hang out again sometime when you’re not busy with your baby or your writing or traveling or hanging out with Colin Ferrell! Carpe Diem!!

- Eve

Music to Live By—Robin

So, I may be weird, but my life has its own personal soundtrack. Am I alone in this? I just feel there are songs that are the backdrop of our experiences in this world, and so here’s mine: the entire soundtrack to the movie GARDEN STATE.

I just love it. Every time I listen to it I feel so revived. It makes me smile and want to dance. But it also makes me yearn for things I can never have, which is a terrible feeling, but a very human one.

I’m not really sure what my life’s soundtrack was before the GARDEN STATE thing. I suppose I wandered around life singing verses from CARELESS WHISPER by George Michael. Surely, I’m not alone on that one! (“I’m never gonna dance again…guilty feet have got no rhythm.”) Oh, man. It just don’t get any better than that!

Since my own life has its soundtrack, I decided my character in my current book needed one too. Which I don’t think is a totally weird thing to do since I read somewhere that David Levithan and Rachel Cohn listened to certain types of music to get them in the mood to write NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST. It worked for them. I figured I’d do the same.

I first thought of listening to the type of music my character likes to listen to in the book, which is a combination of Bob Marley and The Sex Pistols.
I tried it. Didn’t get me in the mood. Too much of a love/hate thing. Which is what I love about my character, but it wasn’t getting me in the mood to write. (And Jay, please notice I made it all the way through that paragraph without even once mentioning the word ‘ganja.’ Oh, wait. DOH!)

Then I came across a song that speaks so much more to her experience, rather than her tastes. It’s the song MAD WORLD, by Gary Jules (it’s from the soundtrack to the movie Donnie Darko—a weird and amazing movie; it’s also a remake of an original by Tears for Fears, another band that was the backdrop of my 80’s life; and it’s also that song in the new xbox 360 commercial.) I made a document that sits on my desktop with the lyrics to that song, and when I play it I get chills and it brings me to tears…which is when I know I’m ready to write her story.

So what about everyone else? Do you have a theme song? What song would be playing during the closing credits of the movie of your life? If it’s VALLEY GIRL, that’s fine. It was mine before the whole CARELESS WHISPER phase.

Anyways, let me know what your theme song is! (Or your character’s theme song!) Just wondering. That’s what I do.

Oh, and Mom? Surely SOMETHING has come out since the soundtrack to OUT OF AFRICA!? Maybe I’m wrong…
-Robin

Acknowledgements -- Jay

The AudioCake

The Spread

The Guests

The Reading
(my mom - me - my wife)

The Stand-Up DISCOmedy Show

I wrote a good portion of 13 Reasons Why while sipping coffee at Linnaea’s Café. It’s our town’s artsy-vibe coffee shop. A few scenes in my book are even set there. So that’s where we celebrated the sale of my first book.

The turn-out was awesome. Every time a new person arrived, my arms uncontrollably flew open...I just couldn’t stop the huggin’. The librarian delegation was in full-force, as was the local children’s lit. community (including Elizabeth Spurr, Stephanie Roth, and Emily Jiang--last year’s SCBWI Sue Alexander Award Winner!). For me, a highlight was having my college Children's Lit. Appreciation teacher in attendance...the whole reason I got into this mess to begin with.

The first thing I planned to do when I stepped on stage was to eloquently announce that my first book would be dedicated to my wife. But it was hard to speak eloquently with a clenched throat and tears warping my vision (thankfully, no one called me a wussy). Then my wife, my mom, and I did a full-cast reading of the first 13 pages. My critique group, S.L.O.W. for Children (San Luis Obispo Writers for Children), presented me with an amazing set of bookends adorned with--what else--mermaids. Robin and Eve jumped on stage and had everyone busting up with their hilarious list titled 13 Reasons Why 13 Reasons Why will be an Award-Winning Bestseller. Then came even more tears (I was so dehydrated by the time this thing was over) as I thanked those in attendance that will be featured on my acknowledgements page (followed later in the evening by more tears when I realized I forgot to mention my mom, my dad, and my brother...D’oh!).

Of course, there won’t be any more First Book parties for me. But I’m sure the Disco Mermaids, as a group, will be throwing a couple more in the very near future.

- Jay

13 Reasons Why 13 Reasons Why will be an Award-Winning Bestseller

1. The voice in this book is so authentic. Probably because Jay himself was a depressed teenage girl growing up.
2. Eve and Robin have already signed on to star in the movie!
3. Jay got such a big advance, he could use all that money to buy bunches of copies to ensure that it will be on the bestseller list.
4. In the movie, Robin is going to play the role of the sweet, loving middle aged high school counselor. Eve will play the part of 17-year old Hannah!
5. In the book there is a beautiful poem written by his wife. And there’s an actual recording of the poem as a song...sung by his wife, not by Jay!
6. In the movie, the role of Clay will be played by Colin Ferrell and he and Eve will have a big make-out scene. Only they’ll have to shoot the scene again and again to get it just right.
7. Jay wrote almost the entire book at a coffee shop…at THIS coffee shop, Linnaea’s, not at a Starbucks!
8. So, in the movie when Colin Ferrell and Eve make out, the film will get stolen and end up on the internet and then later in video stores for only $49.99! (But Jay will get 15%)
9. Jay worked so hard on this book, he stayed up late many nights revising and pulling his hair out!
10. In the movie, the ending will be changed from the book’s ending and Eve will walk up in a gorgeous Armani dress (couture, of course) and Colin Ferrell will burst into the room and Eve will say, “You had me at ‘hello.’” And Colin will say, “I wish I knew how to quit you!” And then there will be a huge explosion and Robin will run in and say, “Run, Forest, run!”
11. This book had better be a bestseller, that way Jay can justify all his time spent lurking in the teen section at Barnes & Noble doing “research.”
12. When Roger Ebert reviews the movie, he’ll say: “The plot? Stunning! The emotion? Stunning! The ending? Stunning! Eve Porinchak as 17-year old Hannah? Not so stunning.
13. And the 13th reason why 13 Reasons Why will be a bestseller…It’s Awesome!! (woo-hoo!)