All the World's a What? -- Jay

It’s not the topic of the speech that matters. It’s not the length of the speech. It’s not even the size of the audience. But for some reason, I become an absolute nervous, anxious, and nauseous wreck the closer I get to stepping on a stage or in front of a class. And I’m totally baffled as to why that is...because I love speaking!

Here’s the scenario from last weekend:

EVENT: SCBWI Southern California Writers’ Day
ATTENDANCE: 200+
LENGTH OF SPEECH: 10 measly minutes
TOPIC OF SPEECH: How to Sell a Book in Twelve Years or Less

When Robin arrived at my house on Friday night, I was in my writing room, gathering all my stuff. We had an hour to waste till Eve picked us up to carpool two hours south, and my moodiness was driving Robin bonkers. She grabbed some reading material from my awesome collection of autographed books and headed downstairs until Eve arrived. She couldn’t even stand being in the same room as me!

When we finally got to the hotel, my head hit the pillow at 11:30pm, but the last time I checked the clock before falling asleep, it was 1:30am. Then I woke up at 7, ate breakfast, and went to the conference site. I was the last solo speaker and spent almost the entire day running through the speech in my head. The only time I wasn’t thinking about my speech or gazing at the fire alarm near the emergency exit was when the audience broke into laughter or applause for one of the other speakers.

But then my name was called to the stage and all my worries rolled away like water off a duck coated in Scotchgard. And for those ten minutes, I was in absolute bliss. I wasn’t thinking about my speech…I was giving my speech. I wasn’t thinking about any issues in my day-to-day life…I was giving my speech. I heard laughter. I saw tears. I heard more laughter, and then applause. My speech was over. I left the stage. I felt like a rock star, baby, and I couldn’t wait to do it again!

And yet, I know I’m going to be an absolute mess before that next speech, which sucks…but, oh well. Absolute bliss is worth it, even for ten measly minutes.

- Jay


POST-POST: A couple people asked, in regards to our last post, how I tied the Billie Jean dance into a speech about my journey as a writer. And I’ll admit, I had to tie a fairly funky knot to do it. I spoke about reaching my dreams of selling a book and speaking at Writers’ Day. I told about my wife’s dream coming true by having a song on the audiobook. And then I told them that, back in the 80’s, I wanted to dance like Michael Jackson. So I used that stage as my chance to make another one of my dreams come true. (Of course, I really just needed a good ending to my speech.)

Dancing with the Authors

At this past weekend's Writers' Day in Thousand Oaks, over 200 authors gathered to be inspired, gather tips, win awards, and schmooze. Editors from Henry Holt, Viking, and Boyds Mills Press gave us a glimpse into life on the other side of the slush pile. Susan Patron told us what to expect when we win a Newbery. Heather Tomlinson, Rene Colato Lainez, Barbara Jean Hicks, and Denise Gruska gave inspiring presentations on their unique journeys to The Published Side...and so did Disco Mermaid Jay.

Of course, Jay wasn't about to let his dream of speaking at Writers' Day stand alone. Oh no, he had to make another one of his dreams come true at the same time. At the end of his speech, with Michael Jackson's Billie Jean pumping out over the audience, he proved once and for all that...well...no one can dance quite like Michael Jackson. (Trust us, if you weren't there, there's no way to explain how the dancing tied into his speech.)

Billie Jean...


...is not my lover, either.


Jay autographing the cheek of Barbara Jean Hicks


Robin with up-and-coming
(and multi-award-winning) Emily Jiang


Jay with future speakers
Eve and Robin

We're Outta Here -- Robin

The DMs are off on another road trip! This time, it’s to the SoCal SCBWI Writers’ Day in Thousand Oaks. We’ll get to hear Susan Patron speak, and maybe she’ll mention this.

We’re also going to hear…oh, who was that again? Oh! Our own Jay Asher! Love that guy. His presentation is titled How to Get Published in Twelve Years or Less. And he has a little sumpin’ special planned for his speech. I can’t wait! Hopefully we’ll have pictures to share with you, that is, if I can hold the camera still while I’m crying tears of pride.

On Saturday night we plan to head out to a great sushi restaurant, so if you’re going to be there, come join us! (Watching Jay shudder as he sips sake is an event not to be missed.)

Then on Sunday, Eve and I are going to chauffeur Jay around to a few different bookstores to sign copies of Thirteen Reasons Why. And by chauffeur I mean, “make Jay drive while Evie and Robin eat food and nap.”

Somebody’s gotta do it…

- Robin

I Love L.A. (More & More) -- Jay

Last weekend, I headed to L.A. for the Southern California Independent Booksellers Association trade show. First, I schmoozed on the trade show floor, where the amazing Penguin rep (Hello, Nicole!) was hyping Thirteen Reasons Why like she’d actually read it and enjoyed it. Her pitch was so good, it made me want to order some copies for my own bookstore…and I don’t even own a bookstore!

Then it was time for dinner. They fed the authors first so we could chat with the booksellers at their dinner later on without worrying about anything green clinging to our teeth. Now, I don’t know how to express how cool the evening was without sounding like Mr. Namedropper, so I’m just going to show you a photo taken at our dinner table, and you can just imagine how many times my head almost exploded from being surrounded by so much coolness.

Neal Shusterman, Lisa Yee, me,
Brian Selznick, Pam Munoz Ryan, Cecil Castellucci
(putting names in a caption does not count as namedropping)

The next day, I went out to lunch with Lisa Yee and Julia DeVillers in Santa Monica. Of course, Lisa brought her li’l yellow marshmallow friend with her, who decided to act like Tarzan of the Peeps for this shot.


Then I spoke to three back-to-back English classes at Flintridge Prep; my first school visit since the book came out. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a nervous wreck while waiting to speak before anything more three-dimensional than a bathroom mirror. But honestly, and I’m not just saying this because I know some of the students are probably reading it, they set the bar pretty high for school visits. Smart. Fun. Respectful. And it’s so easy to get them to laugh! (Thanks for a wonderful visit, Ms. Cooper.)

After that, I headed to Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeeshop. They have a Teen Advisory Board there, which I had the chance to speak with and sign books for. Then they permitted me to stay and listen to the board meeting. The store lets them take home and review publisher catalogues and advance reading copies, thereby allowing teens to help stock the teen shelves. I know…brilliant! Chris Crutcher’s newest book, Deadline, was the only book mentioned by more than one person as a must-read. (Well, that and Thirteen Reasons Why…but the author of that book was sitting close to the cookies.)

- Jay

Bigger Isn't Always Better --Eve

I’ve been studying screenwriting obsessively for about six months now, ever since Jay gave me a few books to help with plotting and revisions. Thanks, Jay! And, let me tell you, it’s done wonders for my writing. Novels for children are very much like screenplays in that they must be whittled down to only that which is completely pertinent to character or story, and they’re all about action and dialogue. No room for detailed, verbose descriptions of beaches and sunsets, or our audience may quickly get bored and seek comfort with an X-Box.

Deep into another round of revisions on my middle grade book, I got the crazy idea that I should head to Las Vegas with Syd Field and Richard Walter and hole up in a hotel room with them until the re-write was complete. Not in the flesh and blood sense, only their screenwriting books accompanied me…what were YOU thinking?? This next part may seem random, but it’s entirely true. After sitting in my room for several days, adding scenes to make the story “bigger” I had the urge to leave my walk-in freezer of a room (Why are all Las Vegas buildings air conditioned to the point where frost forms on the windows?) and work by the pool.

Alternating between tapping on my computer keyboard and reading the screenwriting books, I got a ton done. In fact, I was so focused for an entire day that I was completely oblivious to the people around me. When I finally came up for air after several hours of hard work, I started noticing lots of skin. Not your average “What Happens in Vegas” scantily clad folks, but, you know, um, naked people. Apparently, I had camped out by the “Clothing Optional” swimming pool at the Wynn. Of course, as the afternoon wore on and the alcohol flowed, the clothing became a lot more “optional.”

Many of the women surrounding me had, you know, enhanced what nature gave them. Some of them were SO enhanced, on top of their petite waists and hips, that the skewed proportions made them look outrageous and awkward. Now, I have nothing against plastic surgery. But, for me, there’s a point at which things become too big and the overall effect goes beyond enhanced beauty, and borders on unsightly freak show.

So…and this where I bring it all back to my writing… I had an epiphany moment where I realized that BIGGER isn’t necessarily better. Bigger can actually muddy up a story and diminish its heart. Just look at Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook.” It’s a simple story, well told. And people love it. It’s happy and sad and gut wrenching and stays with you for a long long time. But there isn’t anything particularly “big” about it.

Once I stuck to my main character’s journey and took out the extraneous “big” stuff that made it feel too much like a Michael Bay movie with pointless car chases and explosions, my story really came together. So, I’m happy to announce that I’m DONE (again) and ready to send this puppy off to my agent. Let’s hope the rest of the world agrees that bigger isn’t always better.

-- Eve

Back in the Saddle—Robin

It’s been a whirlwind week here in Mermaid-land…there was the release of Jay’s book, then I had many talks with my agent about the status of my book (still in progress!), then dentist appointments and school carnivals and huge piles of laundry and Stephen Colbert announcing he’s running for president. It’s enough to make a girl go nutty!

So it’s time to get back in the saddle and get back to writing. Sometimes when things are hectic, I find it hard to settle into a quiet groove and get back into my little story. Does anyone else have this problem?

But kind of like jogging, once I force myself into starting, it feels great. (I just have to keep finding new ways to force myself into starting!)

This week, I decided to jumpstart myself by reading books that might inspire me. I’m in the middle of ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NOT by David LaRochelle. And it is positively great! His writing is so precise, as if he put care into every word. I find that I have a smile on my face the entire time I’m reading it. Which makes the story so satisfying.

So I’m going to get back in the saddle and start writing, thanks to inspiration from David! With my new motto: Put. Care. Into. Every. Word.

Oh, and my other motto: Go. Do. Laundry.

--Robin