We're Partying With...

May we have the envelope, please?

The winner of the First Annual (maybe) Disco Mermaid SCBWI Summer Conference Scholarship is…

Wait.

First, we wanna give you a little taste of the judging process…cuz it was insanely difficult and y'all deserve to suffer along with us. Some entries literally brought tears to our eyes. Most made us burst into laughter. A few were formatted creatively (how come we never realized there were thirteen letters in Disco Mermaids?). All were worthy of the Mermaid money…and that’s not an overstatement at all.

Chipping away at the top seven began to appear impossible. It came down to tearing apart each entry, reason by reason. In the end, all three Disco Mermaids agreed that one entry stood out through the entire process. We can’t wait to meet, we can’t wait to hang out with, and we can’t wait to party with…

STEPHANIE BLAKE
a.k.a. Colorado Writer

Of course, we want to meet all of you. So, whether you’ve already signed up for the conference, or if you decide to splurge at the last minute, we’re gonna figure out a time to meet up in the hotel lobby (you know, near the bar). And if you entered this contest…the first drinks are on us!

And now, a collection of our top Thirteen (Funny) Reasons Why people wanted to win:

1. “When I sell my book” has become our retirement plan.
2. I need some better L.A. stories to tell at my 10-year high school reunion next year. “I ran into Pauly Shore at Trader Joe’s once” just isn’t all that impressive.
3. I want to meet my LJ and blogspot writing friends, and see whose pictures are more than ten years old.
4. I lost my virginity in the very hotel of the Los Angeles SCBWI conference--Room 1212 to be exact, and hope to relive the experience.
5. [What if another winner] pocketed your money and spent it on horrible things, like drugs? Then you’d be on the hook for being an accomplice in their drug addiction, leaving you wide open for legal problems, even jail, and I can tell you one thing for certain. If that happened, your first novel would go out-of-print even before its release. You don’t want that to happen, do you, Jay? Well, do you?
6. Surround me with people who don’t think I’m strange when I frantically grab a napkin and write down an idea before it is lost.
7. I want to see if Lisa Yee really brings those Peeps EVERYWHERE.
8. (each reason in this entry was given a different genre) Horror: I woke up to find the words, “Win or die!” written in blood on my bathroom mirror. I’m not ready to die. You hold my still-beating, crimson, dripping heart in your hands.
9. I confess. I need to learn how to write shorter, clearer sentences and do you think if I won your award that the conference would help me understand how to do that?
10. I need the money because I’m as broke as a joke. I used Best Buy computers to type this up but I think the Geek Squad has caught on to me and this may be my last communication unless they’ve taken my picture down at CompUSA.
11. I haven’t been to L.A. in almost five years. -- I’m definitely out of the L.A. loop. My body has gone to hell and my face looks like sh*t. Give me the incentive to lose weight, get a face lift and a fanny tuck. You can do it, you know you can!
12. I can stay at my Grandma’s house. My Great-Grandma lives there, too. And who knows how much longer they will live, you know.
13. Thirteen is my lucky number, so I thought I had a chance in hell.

4 Days & 4 Nights -- Jay

Last Sunday, my wife and I arrived in NYC at 7a.m. Thankfully, the hotel allowed us to check in early. My wife took a nap while I headed down the block to BookExpo.

I spent most of my time hanging around the Penguin area and got into some goosebump-inducing discussions with booksellers who’ve read galleys of Thirteen Reasons Why. It doesn’t officially come out for another four-and-a-half months, but I want it out now!

I also hung out with the Listening Library people. Kelly Galvin (my publicist) has a mighty impressive spiel about the benefits of audiobooks. And the cool thing is, I had a chance to impress her, too! Mid-spiel, R.L. Stine walked by. I approached him, shook his hand, and introduced myself. He happened to be halfway through reading my book…and was lovin’ it! When Mr. Stine and I parted ways, Kelly said, “Did you just walk up to R.L. Stine…and did he just say he was reading your book?” To which I nodded, then nearly passed out.

Me & Kelly
Sarah Beth Durst snapped the pic

Monday morning, Rebecca Bullene (my editor at Listening Library) took me to breakfast. We had a fascinating discussion about what makes a good audiobook and what doesn’t. And we both agreed that we could easily talk about the ins-and-outs of this business forever!

Then Kristen Pettit (my editor at Razorbill) took me to lunch. Ever heard of Manhattan clam chowder? It uses a tomato base instead of whatever that white sauce is…and it’s goooood! I’ve spoken about Kristen before, so if you wanna know what she’s like, just read this. (You'll love her!)

Tuesday morning, I visited Betsy Bird. Never heard of her? What about Fuse #8? Yep, that’s her! And this is us…

Does she know how to pose for a picture, or what! Someone needs to start a H.L.O.C.L list, cuz it’s long overdue…and librarians hate the O-word.

From there, I went straight to the reason for my NYC trip…the recording of my audiobook. On Day 1, I heard 7-pages worth of Joel Johnstone narrating the voice of Clay Jensen, my main male character. I sat in a tiny room with Orli Moscowitz (the producer), John Dylan Keith (the sound engineer), and Scott Creswell (the director), with Joel sitting in an even tinier soundproof room.

John, me, and Scott

Here’s how it worked: We all had manuscript pages in front of us. Joel would narrate, Scott or Orli would catch a rushed or slurred word and ask him to repeat a line, or ask him to repeat a line with emphasis on a different word, and John took notes to keep track of takes and a million other details. What did I do? I smiled…constantly. Joel is Clay. While I wrote my book, his voice was the exact voice I heard. The dude's a star!

The Voice & The Words

Then Orli walked me to Random House (which owns Listening Library and has an awesome lobby o’ bookshelves). She took me into a room full of audiobooks and wouldn’t let me leave until my arms were overflowing. She also gave me an Advance Reading Copy of a little book whose audio version she’s working on now…Love, Stargirl!

The next day included an event I was both excited and nervous about…a Meet the Author Tea at Penguin. Why was I nervous? Because I was the author. When Kristen introduced me, everyone in the room started applauding. And I, being the manly man that I am, grit my teeth to keep back the tears. In that room were the people responsible for taking my manuscript and turning it into a Book. Kristen started by reading e-mails she’d received from booksellers who’ve read my book…as well as an amazing e-mail from R.L. Stine, who finished it that morning. Then everyone lined up to introduce themselves. The marketing and sales people. Foreign rights. The website and jacket artists. Okay, go grab a thesaurus that includes photo illustrations. Now look up beautiful, kind, creative, enthusiastic, and kick-ass. Aren’t they adorable?

Then Kristen and I went into the office of Ben Schrank, President and Publisher of Razorbill. Gulp! I felt like I was going to the principal’s office. Throughout the entire process of bringing my book to life, he’s been like the great and mighty Oz. Kristen would say things like “Ben says…” and “Ben thinks…” But I shouldn’t have been nervous, because the great and mighty Oz is…what’s a poetic way to say frickin’ cool?

Kristen and I then grabbed a taxi and met my wife outside the studio for Day 2 of the audiobook. This time, we were there to hear my main female character, Hannah Baker, brought to life by Debra Wiseman. We came in mid-recording, so I didn’t get a chance to meet Debra before I heard her…which created an eerie sensation. In my book, Hannah's recorded several cassette tapes, detailing the reasons she chose to end her life. It felt like we were actually eavesdropping on Hannah while she was making those tapes. Talk about freaky! I’ve heard picture book authors say that when they see the final product, they’re amazed at how the illustrator brought their words to a whole new level. Well, that’s what Debra was doing. The words coming through the monitor weren't the words I wrote. They were better than the words I wrote.

My wife, Debra, me, Orli, and Kristen
I love my life!

Somehow, in the midst of doing all that “book business,” my wife and I managed to squeeze in visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Ellis Island (where George W. Salinger stepped off the Lusitania so I could form the Disco Mermaids 96 years later), the Museum of Jewish Heritage, the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine, the Empire State Building, a swing dance club, and two Broadway shows (The Lion King and Chicago).


But I’m back in California now. I’ve got a load of laundry in the dryer, I’ll empty the dishwasher once I’m done with this, then I’m heading to bed.

Back to reality.

- Jay

STOP!

It's now past five o'clock, which means our contest is now closed to new entries. The judging process will begin tonight and we will announce the winner early next week.

Oh, and thanks a lot! We thought this was going to be a fun contest to judge, but it's going to absolutely suck (sorry, but that's the only word that works). Your entries tickled our funny bones, tugged at our hearts, and...well...thanks for the pictures.

Some entries were in rhyme, some told us a story, and some came filled with links. Some used the strategy of reverse psychology (why they don't deserve the money), some guessed at what other entries said, then told us why those people didn't deserve to win, and some perfected the fine art of butt-kissing.

Our only regret is that we have just one scholarship to give. Because we wanna meet you all. We wanna hang out with you all. And we wanna party with every single one of you!

Oh, The People You’ll Meet—Robin

Robin – Cynthia – Eve

It’s interesting how the blogging world brings you closer to people in a way you’d never expect.

Today, Eve and I had coffee with Cynthia Jaynes Omololu, a fellow blogger and my cousin-by-agent. Cynthia, I learned, is also my soul mate in the world of film, as she also believes that the best two movies ever made are Spinal Tap and Harold and Maude.

I love this girl.

As the three of us sat talking about our agents, the books we’ve written (and the ones we hope to finish someday) and about all the other books we love (and even the ones we don’t love), a nice man sitting next to us leaned over and said, “Excuse me. Are all three of you writers?”

“Why, yes! Yes, we are!” We said in unison as we sat up a little straighter.

“Wow,” he said. “That’s neat. That’s really neat.” He then went on to say that the most interesting part of our conversation was how we were talking about other books that we love and how a book can be interpreted in so many different ways, unlike a television show.

We were like, “Yeah, man. That’s so true. That’s deep.” And we nodded our heads and wondered why he was listening in on our conversation and wondered why we were okay with that.

But we were okay with that. Because there’s nothing like getting random people sitting next to you in coffee shops to start talking about the value of books.

So, Cynthia, first of all…you rock. And second of all, I’m sorry I didn’t link to your blog because I can’t figure it out. Which means I don’t rock, I’m lame.

And third of all, sorry for changing my hair color on you and making it more difficult for you to spot me. Even Eve has a hard time finding me now that I’m not a blonde. But hey…I’m a girl…I change my mind a lot!

I think for our next blog-fest-in-person meeting I’ll go as a red head!

-Robin

Don't Judge a Book --Eve

Yesterday I went to a picnic and entered a pie-eating contest. It was your typical “Stand By Me” movie scene, complete with the hands behind our backs, eating with our faces, winner blowing chunks across the table kind of stuff. I had berries up my nose, in my eyeballs and probably aspirated a few into my lungs. Needless to say, it was awesome! But the funny part was that afterward people kept coming up to me saying, “I can't believe you did that!” “I'm shocked.” “But you're so girly!” Then I realized that I was, in fact, the only girl participating among big, burly dudes.

Recently I attended a writer's conference where an acquaintance said to me, “I bet you write chick-lit. You MUST write chick-lit. I mean, look at you!” Now, I have nothing against chick-lit. It has its place and is wildly entertaining. It's just that I don't write it…I couldn't if I tried.

At a BBQ last week, a friend's wife couldn't stop talking about how surprised she was at the content of my middle grade book. She felt it “impossible” that I could write about violence among inner city kids and gang culture. She refused to believe that “someone like me” could write that stuff.

When I realized that these seemingly insignificant incidents actually bothered me, I had to psychoanalyze why. For some reason, people have always looked at me and thought “dumb”, “superficial”, “soft” and “girly”. Okay, so I'm a little girly. I love strappy sandals and lacy stuff and the color pink. (Okay, a lot girly.) Believe it or not, as a teen I always hated when people judged others by their looks or where they come from. And, though they seem to conform to dress code and behavior “rules” of their cliques, I think teens sincerely want to be valued as individuals. So, maybe I haven't grown up much since age fourteen. But I've also found a way to use these feelings left over from my teen years when writing, which is probably why my stories generally incorporate themes of prejudice.

I'm always sucked into books where the main characters shun stereotypes and reveal unexpected depth that we never saw coming. And I think kids appreciate that too. I mean, if the girl in the pink lacy dress and strappy sandals just sat there reading her chick-lit book and refused to enter the pie-eating contest…that'd be a really boring story, right??

Eve

$$$ Our Most Expensive Post Ever $$$

The SCBWI Summer Conference is only two months away (August 3-6), and we want you to go. Why? Because we wanna meet you. We wanna hang out with you. We wanna party with you!

So? Do ya wanna go? Huh? Do ya?

Okay, here’s the deal, we also wanna pay for you.

Screeeeeech! Say what!?!?

Not your airfare, not your hotel stay, and definitely not your bar tab, but we will pay for your tuition. Sound good? Good!

In honor of the sale of Jay’s first book, Thirteen Reasons Why (available this October, but you can pre-order it now!), we're asking for you to give us thirteen reasons why you deserve/want/need to have the Disco Mermaids pay for your tuition. Think about it this way: If you don’t enter, someone else will win the money…and you don’t want someone else winning it, do you? Neither do we.

Why are we doing this? It’s a little thing called paying it forward. Over the years, SCBWI has been very good to us (particularly to Jay). In 2000, Jay won the Sue Alexander Most Promising New Work Award, which earned him a free trip to New York City. In 2003, Thirteen Reasons Why won the Work-In-Progress Grant for an Unpublished Writer. Jay met Chris Crutcher and Gordon Korman at SCBWI summer conferences, and they later wrote wonderful blurbs for his book. It’s because of those summer conferences that the three of us joined forces and won three costume contests in a row. And it is because of those contests that we formed this blog. All of that momentum led to a better-than-expected offer on Jay’s debut novel. So this year, Jay’s footing the bill for the first Disco Mermaid Scholarship. Next year…well, that depends on how hard Robin & Eve’s agents work.

Send an e-mail to RobinJayEve[AT]aol.com to enter. Put Thirteen Reasons Why I Want that Mermaid Money! in the subject line. In the body of the text, simply list your 13 reasons. Entries must be received by 5pm PST, Friday, June 8th. Oh, and only one entry per person (you’re not allowed 26 reasons why, or 39 reasons why…just put the brakes on at 13!).

And what if you’ve already paid your tuition? Tough!

No, just kidding. We’ll repay you…it really is that simple.

How are we gonna judge this thing? First, Jay is going to choose his top five. Then, Eve and Robin will pick the winner. You must send your name along with your entry, but names will be removed before judging because we are fair and impartial Mermaids.

What are we looking for? Well, it’s kind of like art…we won’t know it till we see it. Do we want humor? Sure. Heartwarming? Okay. A nice mix of both? Sure…whatever. You decide. Feel free to be honest, silly, mushy, or self-disclosing because the winning entry will not be posted…only the winner’s name.

Ready! Set! Let’s party!!!