Fondue Friday #4 - One Week and Counting...

Fondue Fridays

- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -
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Every year, we have a blast at the SCBWI National Conference in Los Angeles. But every year is a totally different experience. Recently, the three of us got together, placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, and discussed our thoughts and hopes for the next conference…which begins one week from today.

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Jay: Okay, who wants to go first?
Robin: Well, you just did.
Jay: Okay, then who wants to go sec--…I mean…third?
Eve: I’ll go…wait, what are we talking about?
Robin: I think this is the last time we’re going to do this.
Jay: Robin’s in a bad mood cuz she had to put off her hair appointment. Nice hat, by the way.
Robin: I like to call it Redneck Chic. Let’s move on.
Eve: I love the hat! And, Jay…you’re wearing a hat too. Speaking of hats, what are you guys most excited about doing at the conference?
Jay: Just for your info, dear readers, Robin’s hat says Pheasants Forever. I think it’s from back home in Georgia.
Robin: Pheasants are forever. Now let’s move on. I’m looking forward to so many of the speakers, including the amazing Jay Asher who had better lose his hat by then…and his attitude.
Jay: It’s a Penguin hat. I’m just trying to represent!
Eve: Pheasants. Penguins. Who cares? I’m excited to meet blog readers like Suzanne Young and Laura Ludwig Hamor, who I’ve only met cyber-ly! And Christy Raedeke, who I only got to hang with a little bit in Big Sur.
Robin: Yes! And Rachel Cohn and David LaRochelle and…and…oh, who am I kidding…I can’t wait to get soy lattes all day long from the Starbucks in the lobby!
Eve: OMG! I was just going to say the same thing! Except my drink of choice is a café mocha. We are the same person, Robin!
Jay: You definitely are. Each year at the conference…each and every morning!…I’m told to get up early, go downstairs, and bring back your coffees while you “put your faces on.”
Robin: Thanks, Jay. Extra hot…don’t forget! Hopefully we’ll make it down in time for the faculty parade, where each faculty member says one inspired word into the microphone. Do you want to give our readers a hint as to what your word will be, Jay?
Eve: Ooh! Do not say something generic like creative or imagine. You should say…
Robin: Wait, you didn’t tell Eve yet?
Jay: No, back when I came up with it, it would’ve just frustrated her. But I think she’d like it now.
Eve: Wait, I know! Your word is…wait, why would it frustrate me? Is it menopause???
Robin: You’re right. It would’ve frustrated her.
Eve: What IS it? Loser? Cellulite? Dumb blond? No, that’s two words.
Jay: Come here, I’ll whisper it to you. [Jay whispers his word.]
Eve: Oh! NEVER would have guessed that one! Funny. Yes, maybe it would have frustrated me a few months back. But not now. Thanks for telling me!
Jay: Okay, Robin, what year did you first attend the conference?
Robin: My first year was 2003. The theme was the Mad Hatter Tea Party or something. I drove down by myself for one day and ended up crashing in Eve’s room that night. I remember thinking…I could make a habit out of this.
Eve: That’s right! We all hardly knew each other then. I remember sitting in my room with Jay chatting about how much I loved his new project, and insisting that he keep working on it. Back then it was a little thing called, Baker’s Dozen. Most of you now know it as Thirteen Reasons Why!
Jay: I remember that conversation so well! When you told me you loved my book, I remember thinking, “I think we could become really good friends.”
Robin: Awww. This is getting so cute. Let’s do more cute! When was your first year, Jay? What was that like?
Jay: 2000 was my first year…and it wasn’t so cute at first. I knew absolutely no one and I was so shy back then. But I ended up befriending Kathleen Duey, and she introduced me to so many cool people. By the end of the conference, I was more determined than ever to stick with this. And then, Eve, I think you came to the conference two years later, but we never even talked.
Eve: Yes, 2002 was my first. I had just moved to Cali, knew no one at the conference, but met a fabulous group of girls the first day--April Fritz, Kelly DiPucchio, Hope Vestergaard, Alice Pope, Lisa Wheeler--and they made me feel right at home. I do remember seeing a strange guy sitting all alone at the Saturday night luau dressed like the Hawaiian Punch logo-guy and playing a ukulele!
Jay: Yep. That was embarrassing…cuz NO ONE ELSE DRESSED UP THAT YEAR!!!
Robin: But this year, things will be much different!
Eve: Yes, because it’s not a luau, so you won’t need that ukulele. Don’t bring it. No, seriously. Don’t.
Robin: Right! This year will be very different. Jay’s book is out and he’s on the faculty and he’s going to be the hit of the conference. For me it’ll be different because…oh, wait…it won’t be different at all. Except we’ll be dressed in red!!!
Jay: Hey, Robin. I’m actually starting to like your Pheasants Forever hat. You look good in it.
Eve: Leave her hat alone!
Jay: No, I’m serious. I like it!
Robin: For real ya’ll, pheasants are forever.
Eve: Oh! Oh! I know! Your one word should be I’maNewYorkTimesBestsellingAuthorLookAtMeLookAtMe.
Robin: Or how about EveAndRobinWillBePublishedSoon.
Eve: Oh, oh, or MillionDollarContractsMovieDealsAndTheWholeShabangForBothOfYou.
Robin: Or ILoveEveAndRobinMoreThanLifeItself.
Eve: IWouldBeNothingWithoutThem.
Jay: [walks away]
Robin: Jay! We’re sorry.
Jay: I’m just getting more coffee.
Eve: Maybe his one word should just be creative.
Robin: Yeah. Creative. That’s good!

Fondue Friday #3 - Retreat

Fondue Fridays

- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -
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With deadlines (both self-imposed and contractual) looming on the horizon, we set out for Santa Barbara for the first ever Disco Mermaid Writing Retreat. We stayed at an inn with a beautiful patio view of the Pacific Ocean and spent the weekend cranking out future bestsellers. At one point, a mermaid said, "Hey, we should blog about what this experience is like." So we placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, flexed our fingers…and got bloggin’.

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Jay: Okay, let’s start. But we gotta do this fast cuz Robin and I gotta drive home…while Eve crashes for one more night.
Robin: We had a very successful first retreat! What did we get done? Well, I kicked butt on my young adult novel and I’m actually just one chapter short of finishing it. Perhaps if I had stayed out of the hot tub this afternoon I would’ve finished. But…it’s a hot tub! And…we’re Disco Mermaids!
Eve: I can’t lie; I did not kick as much butt as Robin, and am a lot more chapters short of finishing my YA. However, I got a TON done, and learned a lot of little known facts about my fellow mermaids. Did you guys know that Robin only eats “limpy fries”… no crispy ones! Who knew?
Jay: Or that Eve doesn’t poop! Who knew?
Robin: Or that when Jay poops, he has to go down the hall because there wasn’t a strong enough fan in ours. Who knew?
Eve: Okay, what are we blogging about here? But seriously folks…I really don’t poop, and I am gasless. That said, Jay and Robin gave me some really nifty plot suggestions over breakfast this morning, and it changed my whole perspective on what I’m doing. I also got inspiration by staring out at the beach, and wrote some really HOT love (not sex) scenes with my characters sitting on the beach. Woo-hoo!
Jay: Just gotta say, I wasn’t the first mermaid to discover the bathroom down the hall. But yes, this weekend was amazing. For me it wasn’t as creative as for the two of you. Mine was mostly busy work. I took an entire middle grade novel I’d already written and changed it from past-tense to present-tense. Somehow, that simple (yet time consuming) switch improved my manuscript immensely! I can’t wait to send it to my agent later this week.
Robin: And yes, I was the one who originally discovered the joys of hallway bath rooming. Interestingly enough, I had a bit of an emotional reaction to the final chapters of my book. After writing a very heart wrenching moment, I stood up, ran to the bathroom (the one in our room wasn’t in use very much), sat on the toilet and bawled my eyes out. I came back out after a few minutes expecting my fellow mermaids to be sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to support me in my moment of vulnerability. Jay said, “Did you light a candle?” And Eve said, “Shhh! I’m sleeping here!” Love you guys. Really, I do.
Eve: I’m so sorry! But I wasn’t sleeping. I was deep in thought. It’s my creative process. Seriously, we probably had more fun than any mermaid should ever be allowed to have in a lifetime. We laughed, we cried, we became one. It’s amazing how well we support each other…I mean, who else could I sit with in a room for three days straight, while listening to Nickelback and Benedictine Monk chants at the same time, and have no dialogue for 8 hours straight except for me occasionally asking, “what’s another word for phlegm?” As a bonus, I just got a message from my agent who LOVED what I’ve worked on so far and called it “FANTASTIC!”

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Very unflattering pictures coming soon...

Fondue Friday #2 - Blog or Dare?

Fondue Fridays

- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -
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The three of us were looking for a new excuse to get together to talk about writing. Then someone shouted, “Fondue!” We couldn’t decide on one general theme to discuss, so we’re going to have a Potluck Fondue…with a twist. One Mermaid will ask another Mermaid, “Blog or Dare?” If they choose Blog, they have to comment on a given topic. If they choose Dare, anything goes. So we placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, flexed our fingers…and got bloggin’.

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Jay: Alright, I’ll start. Eve, Blog or Dare?
Eve: Blog. No, Dare. No, Blog!
Jay: What’s your most embarrassing author experience?
Eve: When I first started writing I attended a SCBWI retreat where we read our manuscripts in front of an editor and Sue Alexander. When I finished reading my dreadful three chapters Sue said, “If this is the best you got, you should quit writing.” Robin, Blog or Dare?
Robin: Um…Blog.
Eve: If you were stuck on a deserted island with one children’s book author, who would it be? And why?
Robin: I’d have to say Louis Sachar, because he’s the reason I first decided to start writing for kids. I read “Sideways Stories from Wayside School” out loud to my fifth grade class and they absolutely cracked up. I want to be him!
Jay: Gee, that was funny.
Robin: Fine, Jay. Let me give you some of this: Blog or Dare!?
Jay: Dare me, baby.
Robin: I dare you to go to GottaBook’s blog and leave the following question…Can I be in the next Harry Potter movie? (and ask with a thick English accent)
Jay: Oh, cuz Arthur Levine’s his new editor. Nice, Robin. Alright. I'll do it. He’ll probably cast me as Hermione. Hmm...Eve, Blog or Dare?
Eve: Dare!
Jay: Let’s see. Go to the SCBWI Discussion Board and ask if anyone knows of an editor who would be interested in a funny picture book about a puppy with cancer.
Eve: No problem. Tasteless? Yes. But funny! It’ll be a good experiment to see what kind of feedback I get. Robin, Blog or Dare?
Robin: Dare. I think…
Eve: You have to do it! Go to Gordon Korman’s website and click on “contact info.” E-mail him and tell him to check out the blog post you wrote about him last week on our blog.
Robin: Did it. Now I’m ’bout to puke. I think this game is over.
Jay: Okay, that was a really short Fondue.

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[The Disco Mermaids are officially cut off from consuming anymore chocolate chip cookies and Coca-Cola Zero.]

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To see Jay's comment on Gregory K.'s GottaBook blog, click here.

Eve's question can be found on SCBWI's Discussion Board under Publishing Tips, Techniques, and Questions.

Robin did receive a response from Gordon Korman...but she ain't talking!

Fondue Friday #1 - Gettin' Jiggy at SCBWI

Fondue Fridays
- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -

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Each year at the SCBWI National Conference in Los Angeles, there's an after-hours theme party--hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, DJs one year, a live band the next, and dancing. Two years ago, the theme was the Glitter Ball. Last year they threw a Beach Bash. We took first place in the costume contests both years (scroll back a couple of days to see what we looked like). Recently, the three of us got together, placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, and discussed our experiences at the after-hours parties.

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JAY: Okay, I'll start while the two of you chow down on Domino's. Let's talk about the Glitter Ball where the two of you dressed up like my...well, I think we’d all agree with what you looked like. Do either of you remember when we decided to dress like that?

ROBIN: It wasn't as planned as we thought it was going to be. We all decided to wear glittery glasses, but our outfits were not coordinated until about half an hour before our big "debut." Remember, Jay? You loaned me your wife's halter that Eve was going to wear, then I gave you my pants that Eve gave me and you gave me your pants that, well, I don't know who gave them to you. So basically, that's why my pants were so frickin' tight...you're skinny, dude!

JAY: Yeah, where did those pants come from? And Eve, where exactly did you get your get-up?

EVE: Um, well, you see, there's this website for...um...okay, okay it's strippers.com okay? There. It was the only place I could find good disco-y outfits. So it was a little tight and a lot revealing...whatever works to get me some attention, man!

JAY: I remember freaking out in the elevator on the way down. It took us forever to get dressed so the party was packed by the time we got there and we had no idea how people would react. But immediately people started asking if they could take their pictures with us. And I think that's important to talk about. Do you think dressing up helped in any way other than giving us an excuse to act silly?

EVE: Remember when we made our grand entrance and Robin and I were hanging on your arms and we did the loop around the whole party? That was insane! People were screaming and cheering and clapping. For me, the best part was feeling like a rock star (okay, so most people thought Jay had actually hired, um, "professionals" to escort him, but I felt like a star anyway). So, yeah, the attention was great because we got to meet some famous (and not so famous) children's book people who never would have otherwise given us the time of day.

ROBIN: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the walk around the party, because I think I blacked out. I do that a lot when I dress inappropriately and parade around in front of a crowd. I did like the fact that Jay was wearing 5-inch platforms and was finally a little taller than me. But the best part was getting to know our now favorite illustrator, David Diaz. What a cool guy, huh?

JAY: Very cool. And so humble. The four of us hung out for hours after the party. Eve and I couldn't believe we were hangin' with a Caldecott medal winning illustrator and, after a long time, Robin finally asked, "So, who are you?" Eve said, “This guy did Smoky Night!” and Robin basically freaked out. And then there's the coolest editor in the world…

EVE: OMG, dude! Can you believe we partied with the most famous and powerful children's editor in the Free World? And took pictures with him that now adorn our desks and probably his desk as well at Scholastic? So cool. See, dressing up and acting crazy REALLY does have its perks, people. I mean, part of this business is selling yourself (okay, maybe not as a hooker) so you gotta let your personality show at these things.

ROBIN: Yes, Mr. Levine (Harry Potter's editor) is the best. But the other perk was me and Eve getting the attention of the women in the ladies' room asking us where we're from. "Oh, we're from Sunset Blvd.," we said. And for some reason they believed us.

JAY: See, Eve thinks I make stuff up, but Mr. Levine asked me to mail him a copy of the picture we took with him. And last year, I swear, he told me it was up in his office. But let's move on to the Beach Bash. We went to a local costume shop to look for mermaid costumes but I ALMOST went as a lobster. That would've been a mistake.

EVE: Yeah, mermaids. Always a winner with the crowds. However, I think some people started to get a little jealous of all the attention we got. Remember when we won First Place again the second year? Someone booed us when we were on the stage.

ROBIN: Actually, I don't remember that because I think I blacked out again. But I'm sure that the suspect boo-er was Stephen Mooser (SCBWI President) who was just jealous after Jay gave him that little kiss but then totally ignored him the rest of the night. I hate when Jay does that.

JAY: Oh yeah. Totally forgot about that. Thanks. But seriously, it was on the cheek as we paraded by the judges and I just thought...nevermind. But we won, so maybe that was the tipping point. Though I do remember having my sequined butt grabbed by an author who shall remain nameless. But she was a published author so I didn't really mind.

EVE: Yeah, there seemed to be a lot of grab-ass goin' on there. Good times. But seriously, I had the time of my life both years. My mom saw the pics on the internet and said, "And this helps your writing career, um, how?" But I don't care. Being famous just for being famous is very much the thing de jour and it sure did get me a lot of editors' business cards. So, yay for me!

JAY: Though I must admit, I’m a little afraid of what they’ll choose as a theme this year. Or maybe we won’t dress-up at all. Yeah, right!

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Fondue Filosophy
When in doubt, take a chance
wear sequined fins and shiny pants

...then dance!