Fondue Friday #4 - One Week and Counting...

Fondue Fridays

- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -
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Every year, we have a blast at the SCBWI National Conference in Los Angeles. But every year is a totally different experience. Recently, the three of us got together, placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, and discussed our thoughts and hopes for the next conference…which begins one week from today.

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Jay: Okay, who wants to go first?
Robin: Well, you just did.
Jay: Okay, then who wants to go sec--…I mean…third?
Eve: I’ll go…wait, what are we talking about?
Robin: I think this is the last time we’re going to do this.
Jay: Robin’s in a bad mood cuz she had to put off her hair appointment. Nice hat, by the way.
Robin: I like to call it Redneck Chic. Let’s move on.
Eve: I love the hat! And, Jay…you’re wearing a hat too. Speaking of hats, what are you guys most excited about doing at the conference?
Jay: Just for your info, dear readers, Robin’s hat says Pheasants Forever. I think it’s from back home in Georgia.
Robin: Pheasants are forever. Now let’s move on. I’m looking forward to so many of the speakers, including the amazing Jay Asher who had better lose his hat by then…and his attitude.
Jay: It’s a Penguin hat. I’m just trying to represent!
Eve: Pheasants. Penguins. Who cares? I’m excited to meet blog readers like Suzanne Young and Laura Ludwig Hamor, who I’ve only met cyber-ly! And Christy Raedeke, who I only got to hang with a little bit in Big Sur.
Robin: Yes! And Rachel Cohn and David LaRochelle and…and…oh, who am I kidding…I can’t wait to get soy lattes all day long from the Starbucks in the lobby!
Eve: OMG! I was just going to say the same thing! Except my drink of choice is a café mocha. We are the same person, Robin!
Jay: You definitely are. Each year at the conference…each and every morning!…I’m told to get up early, go downstairs, and bring back your coffees while you “put your faces on.”
Robin: Thanks, Jay. Extra hot…don’t forget! Hopefully we’ll make it down in time for the faculty parade, where each faculty member says one inspired word into the microphone. Do you want to give our readers a hint as to what your word will be, Jay?
Eve: Ooh! Do not say something generic like creative or imagine. You should say…
Robin: Wait, you didn’t tell Eve yet?
Jay: No, back when I came up with it, it would’ve just frustrated her. But I think she’d like it now.
Eve: Wait, I know! Your word is…wait, why would it frustrate me? Is it menopause???
Robin: You’re right. It would’ve frustrated her.
Eve: What IS it? Loser? Cellulite? Dumb blond? No, that’s two words.
Jay: Come here, I’ll whisper it to you. [Jay whispers his word.]
Eve: Oh! NEVER would have guessed that one! Funny. Yes, maybe it would have frustrated me a few months back. But not now. Thanks for telling me!
Jay: Okay, Robin, what year did you first attend the conference?
Robin: My first year was 2003. The theme was the Mad Hatter Tea Party or something. I drove down by myself for one day and ended up crashing in Eve’s room that night. I remember thinking…I could make a habit out of this.
Eve: That’s right! We all hardly knew each other then. I remember sitting in my room with Jay chatting about how much I loved his new project, and insisting that he keep working on it. Back then it was a little thing called, Baker’s Dozen. Most of you now know it as Thirteen Reasons Why!
Jay: I remember that conversation so well! When you told me you loved my book, I remember thinking, “I think we could become really good friends.”
Robin: Awww. This is getting so cute. Let’s do more cute! When was your first year, Jay? What was that like?
Jay: 2000 was my first year…and it wasn’t so cute at first. I knew absolutely no one and I was so shy back then. But I ended up befriending Kathleen Duey, and she introduced me to so many cool people. By the end of the conference, I was more determined than ever to stick with this. And then, Eve, I think you came to the conference two years later, but we never even talked.
Eve: Yes, 2002 was my first. I had just moved to Cali, knew no one at the conference, but met a fabulous group of girls the first day--April Fritz, Kelly DiPucchio, Hope Vestergaard, Alice Pope, Lisa Wheeler--and they made me feel right at home. I do remember seeing a strange guy sitting all alone at the Saturday night luau dressed like the Hawaiian Punch logo-guy and playing a ukulele!
Jay: Yep. That was embarrassing…cuz NO ONE ELSE DRESSED UP THAT YEAR!!!
Robin: But this year, things will be much different!
Eve: Yes, because it’s not a luau, so you won’t need that ukulele. Don’t bring it. No, seriously. Don’t.
Robin: Right! This year will be very different. Jay’s book is out and he’s on the faculty and he’s going to be the hit of the conference. For me it’ll be different because…oh, wait…it won’t be different at all. Except we’ll be dressed in red!!!
Jay: Hey, Robin. I’m actually starting to like your Pheasants Forever hat. You look good in it.
Eve: Leave her hat alone!
Jay: No, I’m serious. I like it!
Robin: For real ya’ll, pheasants are forever.
Eve: Oh! Oh! I know! Your one word should be I’maNewYorkTimesBestsellingAuthorLookAtMeLookAtMe.
Robin: Or how about EveAndRobinWillBePublishedSoon.
Eve: Oh, oh, or MillionDollarContractsMovieDealsAndTheWholeShabangForBothOfYou.
Robin: Or ILoveEveAndRobinMoreThanLifeItself.
Eve: IWouldBeNothingWithoutThem.
Jay: [walks away]
Robin: Jay! We’re sorry.
Jay: I’m just getting more coffee.
Eve: Maybe his one word should just be creative.
Robin: Yeah. Creative. That’s good!

3 x 5 SCBWI Highlights

Here are five highlights each from last weekend's SCBWI national conference. But afterwards, we're done with this topic. It's time to start counting down to next year's conference.

Aaaaand…go!


ROBIN:
I learned that Walter Dean Myers is an inspiration, that John Green is humble and brilliant, that Ellen Hopkins is prolific and just plain cool, and that Lisa Yee is adorable and hilarious (scratch that last one…I already knew that!).

Our first annual Kiddie Lit Drunkard Meeting (isn’t that what it was called?) was a smashing success. It was so great to put faces with names. And the event was well-documented by fellow blogger and all-around awesome chick, Rita Crayon, so hopefully she’ll have pics up soon. (Hint, hint, Rita!)

I completely enjoyed the “Authorpreneur” workshop put on by Bruce Hale (love him!) and Roxyanne Young (adore her!). They talked about the DMs as an example of how to use blogs as a marketing tool. On the huge screen they put up the entry I had written about me buying pajamas…so that was…embarrassing.

Jay and I took a break one afternoon to go swimming and sit in the hot tub. We looked up to find ourselves soaking next to one of the Baldwin brothers. I soooo wanted to ask him if he was the religious one or the recovering alcoholic one or the cute one. Considering that I stayed in that hot tub until my fingers turned to prunes, I’d say he was the cute one!

Evie and I discovered that when you go up to a person you don’t hardly even know and ask, “What are ya…a libra?” that nine times out of ten…they really are! Isn’t that fascinating!? Not sure of the science behind this phenomenon, but it probably has something to do with the fact that we are complete geeks for asking such annoying questions.


JAY:
When we first got to the hotel, I ran straight to the restroom nearest the lobby and ended up being next-urinal neighbors with John Green. Later, I related that excitement to Mr. Green himself, and he told me he once peed next to Paul Newman. That separates me by one-degree from being next-urinal neighbors with Mr. Newman. Beat that!

Every year, getting dressed in our costumes for the poolside gala is a huge rush. We always get a room overlooking the pool so we can watch the surrounding area fill up with people. Then we lock arms, ride the elevator down to the lobby, walk outside, and straight onto the dance floor. I love my Mermaids!

After we all fell asleep, exhausted by hours of dancing and schmoozing, Eve had a fascinating dream. When we all woke up, she told us about it...and I will never forget what she said. Unfortunately, I promised that I would never repeat it.

Far away from any urinals, I handed John Green a copy of Thirteen Reasons Why. That night, he started reading it. The next morning, he told me what he thought about my book. Paul Newman? Who cares! I peed next to John “Printz Winner” Green!!!

Because I spoke in a workshop with the Class of 2k7, we were invited to the faculty wrap party at Lin Oliver’s house. I’ve been wanting to crash that party for years! And while I still felt like a poser being around all those Printz, Newbery, and Caldecott winners, I think I played it pretty cool. But whenever the “even cooler” person I was talking to would look down or to the side, I looked to the nearest Mermaid and gave a thumbs-up and a smile! They, in turn, rolled their eyes.


EVE:
Silvery, sparkly, poolside party. Glitz and glamour. Great food and drink. Lots of dancing. Paparazzi stalking us. Scantily clad Playboy bunnies running around the dance floor (no joke!). Y’know…the usual stuff.

Conversations with Caldecott-winning uber-artist, David Diaz. Although hanging with DD is always a highlight, this year I learned a lot too. Like, the saying “Deadline-Schmeadline” and when to use it as a brand new, stressed out writer.

Binging on cheese sticks and sugar cookies late into the night with Jay and Robin, while rehashing every detail from the day. You know it was a good time when you laugh so hard you use up all of Jay’s puffer medicine. Sorry, dude!

Words of wisdom from the always funny/inspiring/creative John Green. He’s laugh out loud funny one minute. He’s insightful the next. I want to be him in my next life. And he’s nice, humble, and tirelessly dedicated to ending “World Suck” too. Ha! Love that guy.

Inspiration, inspiration, inspiration. That’s the main thing I took away from this year’s conference. From watching Jay revel in his new Published-Author status, to getting advice from the generous Mark McVeigh, to discussing the importance of writing about the struggles of inner city kids with the talented Greg Neri, every minute of this conference was an affirmation for me. I love this career!

Rock and Roll SCBWI!!!


NOTE: Jay (as well as Penguin) are all out of Thirteen Reasons Why advance reading copies. So stop asking! But as a teaser, the next time it’s Jay’s turn to blog, he’ll post the introduction to his debut novel. Stay tuned…

S'More Rockin' in L.A.

We're still catching up on sleep, so we'll discuss the highlights of SCBWI's national conference in our next post. Until then, feast your eyes on these:


Robin, Julie Strauss-Gabel, John Green, and Jay at the By the Light of the Silvery Moon poolside gala.


The Mermaids with Newbery winner Susan Patron. And she confirmed, she was talking about us in her acceptance speech!


We grabbed some drinks at the swanky Skybar then dined at Asia de Cuba with Mermaid scholarship winner Stephanie Blake and Caldecott winner David Diaz. Who else was dining there? Only Lionel Richie!


Then we all headed to The Standard, a funky club with velvet swings hanging from the ceiling, just big enough to hold three children's book writers.

We know. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it!

Rockin' in L.A.

No time to chat. So we're gonna let the pics do most of the talkin':


The Mermaids with TadMack and A.Fortis of Finding Wonderland, Kelly Herold of Big A, little a and Little Willow.


Richard Peck congratulating Jay on his book sale with Sonya Sones smilin' on.


The Class of 2k7 panel (Greg Fishbone, Carrie Jones, Thatcher Heldring, G. Neri, Jay, and Joni Sensel).


SmartWriters W.I.N.ners Leslie Muir, Jay, Elizabeth Dulemba, and Roxyanne Young


Our second place silver suits. Sssssparkly!


The silver suits with Arthur Levine.

Shoppin' for L.A. -- Robin & Eve

[If you’re attending the national SCBWI conference this weekend, head on over to GottaBook to find out the time and place for a kidlit blogger meet-up. Plus, you’ll discover what FAKDN@SSC! stands for.]

ROBIN:
While most people have been getting ready for the national SCBWI conference by getting their hair and nails done, I’ve been preparing by shopping for pajamas!

Every year, the three of us share a hotel room (in a Three’s Company sort of way…even though Eve never lets me be Chrissy! Waaahhh!). And every year I go to bed in an oversized sweatshirt and way-too-warm sweatpants so Jay doesn’t have to witness…well, let’s just say there are certain things he doesn’t need to see! But Evie, on the other hand, always looks completely freaking adorable in her completely freaking adorable pajamas.

So I confided in her the other day, that I, too, would like to prance around all cute-like, but that I needed pajamas that would be…you know…supportive. Ahem. So Evie introduced me to the wonders of adorable pajama tank tops at Victoria’s Secret that are very supportive. But being the spendthrift I am, I promptly replicated the cute Victoria’s Secret outfit at Ross (Dress for Less!) down the street for a tenth of the cost. Woo-hoo!

When I got home that night, my husband peeked in the bag after I told him what I had purchased. He said, “You mean you bought cute pajamas…for Jay!?” Then he shrugged his shoulders and added, “For some reason, that makes perfect sense.”

So now I can safely prance about our room all cute-like without worrying that I’ll have to sleep in a rain proof snow suit. I’m ready! Can't wait to see y'all there!


EVE:
Training for this year’s annual SCBWI conference has been tough. To look and feel our best we’ve been busy resting, tanning, working out, painting our nails, and getting our hair done. And the other day, Robin and I endured a major pre-conference crisis when I tried on my “By the Light of the Silvery Moon” party ensemble for the first time. I stared at the mirror in horror when I saw my own silvery moon hanging out the bottom of the dress. Then the phone rang. It was Robin. Same problem! And it was waaay too late to find another outfit.

Though the DMs are used to showing skin at these events, we try to limit it to body parts that won’t get us arrested. What to do, what to do? So, Robin zipped over to my house and we ran around town searching for something…anything!...that would cover our ass-ets, but not compromise the continuity of the outfits. We finally came upon something to wear under the outfit that matches perfectly (and will save us our dignity). However, we still needed a final test. We zipped back to my house and dressed head-to-toe in our silvery best. When Robin said, “Ready…GO!” we jumped, screamed, and danced around like the fools that we are. The ensemble held up through The Cabbage Patch, The Sprinkler, and The Running Man. We discovered that as long as we avoid doing handstands or The Worm, we’re pretty safe. Crisis averted! All is well.

(As a bonus, our show got rave reviews from the golfers on the 7th green peering through my bedroom window. D’oh!)

Practicing similar moves
in our hotel room last year.

We're Partying With...

May we have the envelope, please?

The winner of the First Annual (maybe) Disco Mermaid SCBWI Summer Conference Scholarship is…

Wait.

First, we wanna give you a little taste of the judging process…cuz it was insanely difficult and y'all deserve to suffer along with us. Some entries literally brought tears to our eyes. Most made us burst into laughter. A few were formatted creatively (how come we never realized there were thirteen letters in Disco Mermaids?). All were worthy of the Mermaid money…and that’s not an overstatement at all.

Chipping away at the top seven began to appear impossible. It came down to tearing apart each entry, reason by reason. In the end, all three Disco Mermaids agreed that one entry stood out through the entire process. We can’t wait to meet, we can’t wait to hang out with, and we can’t wait to party with…

STEPHANIE BLAKE
a.k.a. Colorado Writer

Of course, we want to meet all of you. So, whether you’ve already signed up for the conference, or if you decide to splurge at the last minute, we’re gonna figure out a time to meet up in the hotel lobby (you know, near the bar). And if you entered this contest…the first drinks are on us!

And now, a collection of our top Thirteen (Funny) Reasons Why people wanted to win:

1. “When I sell my book” has become our retirement plan.
2. I need some better L.A. stories to tell at my 10-year high school reunion next year. “I ran into Pauly Shore at Trader Joe’s once” just isn’t all that impressive.
3. I want to meet my LJ and blogspot writing friends, and see whose pictures are more than ten years old.
4. I lost my virginity in the very hotel of the Los Angeles SCBWI conference--Room 1212 to be exact, and hope to relive the experience.
5. [What if another winner] pocketed your money and spent it on horrible things, like drugs? Then you’d be on the hook for being an accomplice in their drug addiction, leaving you wide open for legal problems, even jail, and I can tell you one thing for certain. If that happened, your first novel would go out-of-print even before its release. You don’t want that to happen, do you, Jay? Well, do you?
6. Surround me with people who don’t think I’m strange when I frantically grab a napkin and write down an idea before it is lost.
7. I want to see if Lisa Yee really brings those Peeps EVERYWHERE.
8. (each reason in this entry was given a different genre) Horror: I woke up to find the words, “Win or die!” written in blood on my bathroom mirror. I’m not ready to die. You hold my still-beating, crimson, dripping heart in your hands.
9. I confess. I need to learn how to write shorter, clearer sentences and do you think if I won your award that the conference would help me understand how to do that?
10. I need the money because I’m as broke as a joke. I used Best Buy computers to type this up but I think the Geek Squad has caught on to me and this may be my last communication unless they’ve taken my picture down at CompUSA.
11. I haven’t been to L.A. in almost five years. -- I’m definitely out of the L.A. loop. My body has gone to hell and my face looks like sh*t. Give me the incentive to lose weight, get a face lift and a fanny tuck. You can do it, you know you can!
12. I can stay at my Grandma’s house. My Great-Grandma lives there, too. And who knows how much longer they will live, you know.
13. Thirteen is my lucky number, so I thought I had a chance in hell.

$$$ Our Most Expensive Post Ever $$$

The SCBWI Summer Conference is only two months away (August 3-6), and we want you to go. Why? Because we wanna meet you. We wanna hang out with you. We wanna party with you!

So? Do ya wanna go? Huh? Do ya?

Okay, here’s the deal, we also wanna pay for you.

Screeeeeech! Say what!?!?

Not your airfare, not your hotel stay, and definitely not your bar tab, but we will pay for your tuition. Sound good? Good!

In honor of the sale of Jay’s first book, Thirteen Reasons Why (available this October, but you can pre-order it now!), we're asking for you to give us thirteen reasons why you deserve/want/need to have the Disco Mermaids pay for your tuition. Think about it this way: If you don’t enter, someone else will win the money…and you don’t want someone else winning it, do you? Neither do we.

Why are we doing this? It’s a little thing called paying it forward. Over the years, SCBWI has been very good to us (particularly to Jay). In 2000, Jay won the Sue Alexander Most Promising New Work Award, which earned him a free trip to New York City. In 2003, Thirteen Reasons Why won the Work-In-Progress Grant for an Unpublished Writer. Jay met Chris Crutcher and Gordon Korman at SCBWI summer conferences, and they later wrote wonderful blurbs for his book. It’s because of those summer conferences that the three of us joined forces and won three costume contests in a row. And it is because of those contests that we formed this blog. All of that momentum led to a better-than-expected offer on Jay’s debut novel. So this year, Jay’s footing the bill for the first Disco Mermaid Scholarship. Next year…well, that depends on how hard Robin & Eve’s agents work.

Send an e-mail to RobinJayEve[AT]aol.com to enter. Put Thirteen Reasons Why I Want that Mermaid Money! in the subject line. In the body of the text, simply list your 13 reasons. Entries must be received by 5pm PST, Friday, June 8th. Oh, and only one entry per person (you’re not allowed 26 reasons why, or 39 reasons why…just put the brakes on at 13!).

And what if you’ve already paid your tuition? Tough!

No, just kidding. We’ll repay you…it really is that simple.

How are we gonna judge this thing? First, Jay is going to choose his top five. Then, Eve and Robin will pick the winner. You must send your name along with your entry, but names will be removed before judging because we are fair and impartial Mermaids.

What are we looking for? Well, it’s kind of like art…we won’t know it till we see it. Do we want humor? Sure. Heartwarming? Okay. A nice mix of both? Sure…whatever. You decide. Feel free to be honest, silly, mushy, or self-disclosing because the winning entry will not be posted…only the winner’s name.

Ready! Set! Let’s party!!!

Anticipation -- Robin

Wow! Got my brochure for the SCBWI summer conference in the mail this week. Did y’all? Is yours already marked up with huge circles, too? The list of speakers is amazing...

• Walter Dean Myers!
• John Green!
• Susan Patron! (wonder if she’ll be decked in Newbery Jewels-wear…cuz we will!)
• And the Class of 2K7…which happens to include…
  

Wait for it…

Wait for it…


Here it comes…


Our own Jay Asher!

Jay is going to be speaking with other members of the Class of 2K7 on Saturday afternoon during the 3:15 workshop. Please go watch him speak, because that’s right in the middle of Eve and my swimming/lounging time, so we’ll need the scoop. (Kidding…we’ll be there…in the back…wearing bathing suits…ready to run back to the pool!)

Actually, I have a feeling we’re not going to have much time for sunbathing because there are so many speakers I want to see. Cecil Castellucci, Mary Hershey, Mark McVeigh, Julie Strauss-Gabel, Arthur Levine, Cynthia Leitich Smith, Tamora Pierce, Erin Vincent, Lisa Yee…oh, I could go on!

When will we ever have time for serious goofing off and waiting in line for our coffee and waiting in line for the bathroom (women understand the seriousness of this issue) and waiting in line for coffee again and walking 17 miles to the nearest eating establishment to spend $17 on some fries?

And of course, I’m excited about the silvery costume party. But I have a feeling we won’t win this year…not unless they create a Most Tactless & Tasteless category. Then, we’d be #1 for sure.

- Robin

P.S. If you’ve never been to the national conference, check out our summary of last year’s conference here...and here...and here.

What More Can Be Said? -- Robin

Eve, Jay, Robin, and Tomie dePaola

just moments after delivering The dePaola Code

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What more can be said about the SCBWI National Conference that my dear Jay and Eve haven't already covered? Oh, there's more. And it is this: It was EXPENSIVE! If you didn't get to attend the conference, here's all the money you saved:

• Three coffees from the hotel lobby...$18.
• One warm soda and a warm turkey sandwich (that was supposed to be cold)…$9.50 plus tax.
• A pink drink that the bartender in the lobby made up his own name for…$12 (now multiply that by five!).
• Four nights in the hotel, tax, parking, late night phone calls, late night room service, and any damage done to the room…still not sure about this one (Evie’s totaling up the bill from her credit card and I plan to secretly write her a check, without my husband’s knowledge, and never speak of this again).
• Speaking at Lisa Yee’s workshop on blogging…however much 15 sheets of paper cost that we scribbled on while driving down to the conference trying to figure out what in the heck to say!
• The look on oblivious Jay’s face when I told him that Arthur Levine stopped by the blogging workshop to check out what the Disco Mermaids had to say…aaaahhh, that’s right, say it with me…priceless.
• The look on MY face when I saw Jay soar into the sky in his saloon girl outfit, touch his toes while doing air-splits, and land on the dance floor to get “jiggy” with a girl…disgusted.

And that’s all I have to say ’bout that.

- Robin

Absolutely, Positively, Kick A$$ -- Eve

Robin, Jay, Lisa Yee, Gregory K., and Eve

just minutes after our speaking debut as children's book writers

(okay, bloggers...whatever!)

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Top 10 Highlights of the

2006 SCBWI National Conference

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10. Meeting Mo Willems: Funny, humble, and handsome. And boyfriend can draw a pigeon like nobody’s business.

9. David Larochelle’s speech: Sweet, informative, and gave me great hope that perseverance conquers all.

8. Jacqueline Woodson’s keynote: Beautiful and poetic…the kind of writer we all aspire to be.

7. Hanging with Jodi Reamer: No-nonsense agent who is funny, direct, and professional. I especially like the fact that she can hang with us rowdy L.A. hooligans without being mortified by our antics. That’s my kind of chick.

6. Very entertaining Friday night dinner with Robin, Gregory K., and assorted friends. Jay ditched us for some cute chicks, so we had to leave him obnoxious crank calls on his cell. Very funny…to us!

5. Saturday night’s Jade Jubilee: Lots o’ frou-frou drinks, laughs, dancing (giving myself a stress fracture and whiplash…swear!), and hot tubbing…Ahh, good times!

4. Lisa Yee’s blog workshop: Pulled off what will undoubtedly be the most difficult task of my writing career…speaking to a roomful of strangers while nervous, exhausted, and UN-CAFFEINATED. Are you kidding me?? I can’t even brush my teeth while un-caffeinated! I rock!!

3. Shaking booty in a hot Reggae club with Robin and two dudes who we’re pretty sure were Ferris Bueller and his friend Cameron.

2. Q & A with Arthur Levine: This guy could charm a parking meter. Frickin’ hilarious. His story about the French woman at a writer’s conference following him around calling him an “Anti-intellectual, money-grubbing, American publishing pig” had me rolling. If the publishing gig doesn’t work out for him, he can seriously be a comedian (in America…not France).

1. Presenting Tomie dePaola with his own copy of The dePaola Code. In our swimsuits, we approached him at the bar…which, of course, was the best time to approach the most famous, award winning, prolific author/illustrator of modern times. After a cocktail or two he actually found us quite amusing. Now he’s our new BFF! And he’s going to create a picture book about us!! It’s about…um…mermaids who dance and blog and run around the world spreading Disco Love everywhere. Coming soon to a Barnes and Noble near you.

- Eve

- - -

This blog is not a DVD. There are no bonus features. You can not view deleted scenes or outtakes. If you could, this post would have more bonus material than any other Disco Mermaid post so far. The review board (a.k.a. Robin and Jay) saw the post before its world wide release and made some edits. If this blog actually was a DVD and included the director's cut (a.k.a. Evie's cut), it would be a blockbuster!

Saloon Girls -- Jay

at the 2006 SCBWI National Conference

Jade Jubilee

- we tied for first place in the costume contest! -

- - -

The SCBWI 2006
National Conference
Coolest Awards

Coolest Coincidence - ran into the Hyperion editor I recently submitted my YA manuscript to; he just happened to be in the middle of reading my manuscript and, luckily, I think I made a good impression

Coolest Brain Pickin’ Opportunity - got to speak with Debby Garfinkle and Tammi Sauer; both authors are represented by the agent who recently offered me representation…and I’m taking her up on that offer

Coolest Video - Jarrett J. Krosoczka’s hilarious/touching/inspiring conclusion to what was already an awesome speech; he received a well-deserved standing ovation

Coolest Dance Proposal - when no one was stepping into the dance circle, Sarah Darer Littman asked me to take the leap with her…and I do mean “leap”...we were up on a stage and jumped down into the circle before gettin' jiggy (and the girl can dance!); if there’s ever a companion to Fuse #8’s Hot Men of Children’s Literature, Sarah’s definitely got the credentials to be the first Hot Woman of Children’s Lit.

Absolutely, Positively the Coolest - not only is his Sid Fleishcman Humor Award winning book hilarious, but David LaRochelle is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met

deCoolest - Tomie dePaola; he loves The dePaola Code…we love him

Coolest Caldecott Winner - D.D., which stands for David Diaz (or as he calls himself, “Double D-licious”)

Coolest Caldecott Honor Winner - Mo Willems; in less than a minute, over 600 people learned how to draw his pigeon perfectly (I’ve already written and illustrated Don’t Let the Pigeon Operate Heavy Machinery While Under the Influence of Alcohol and Don’t Let the Pigeon Sit on the Statue)

Coolest Blogger - we have a tie: Lisa Yee and Gregory K; I’m still amazed Lisa asked us to speak in her workshop (it will forever be a highlight in my children’s lit. career); if Greg wasn’t so dang cool and deserving, I might be jealous of him and his blog-produced two-book deal (okay, I’m still a teensy bit jealous)

Coolest Disco Mermaid - also a tie: Robin and Eve; you convinced me not to freak out before making my drag queen debut at the Jade Jubilee; you convinced me not to freak out before my speaking debut in Lisa’s workshop; I absolutely, positively love you both

- Jay

The Disco Saloon Mermaids

No, we're not changing the name of our blog. But we'd have to if we altered our name to match our costumes each time we won the SCBWI costume contest!

This year, we weren't the only winners. Based on audience applause they chose three Grand Prize winners, which was wonderful because there were so many amazing costumes. And so many people went over the top to stand out as the crowd pleasers. That, of course, equals a ton of fun for everyone...costumed or not.

We'll post our pic soon, but we're getting ready to speak at Lisa Yee's blog workshop right now. Let's just say that it took people a long time (and only after getting a good close-up of the hair on his chinny-chin-chin) to realize Jay was actually a man...and not a woman with fabulous legs!

So Far at SCBWI

When we arrived at the hotel the night before the conference, nobody was there. Usually it’s swarming with children’s book writers and illustrators and agents and editors. Then, all at once, they came swarming in. The faculty meeting had just ended and “Look! There’s David Diaz. Hi, David! Oh my, is that Mo Willems? And here she comes now, our new BFF, Lisa Yee! Oh, and Debby Garfinkle…our other BFF!”

The most surreal (and most fun) part was meeting our blog readers face to face. Unless people leave comments or e-mail us, it’s impossible to know who’s reading our li’l speck o’ dust in the blogosphere. But wow! The scariest part was being asked, non-stop, what we were going to dress as for the Jade Jubilee. It’s almost like people expect us to overdo it every year.

Oh yeah. That’s probably cuz we do…

Okay, we know what you all want to know. Have we talked to Tomie dePaola and does he know about The dePaola Code? No, we haven’t talked to him. Yes, we plan to talk to him...we just can't agree on who should approach him.

Maybe another game of Blog or Dare is in order.

On My Way to L.A. -- Jay

Tomorrow...it begins. The 35th Annual SCBWI National Conference. Why do I go there, year after year? For the writing tips? Sure. The networking? Absolutely. But mostly...the inspiration. Being around creative people is such a boost to my own creativity. Watching friends slowly peel off into the Published category makes me work that much harder.

And yet, year after year, my wife hands me a written message as I’m on my way out the door that is all the inspiration I need. Usually it’s a card that I keep in my bag and carry with me throughout the conference. This year her note read, in part: Have fun being you & doing what you love. This journey has truly been amazing to watch & it’s just getting started!!

With all the ups and downs this process has brought, all the times I thought publication was just around the corner only to have nothing come of it, it’s nice to know she finds the process amazing to watch. It’s frustrating to me, but an amazing journey to her. And that helps.

(To Eve and Robin, sorry about all the sappiness dripping from your computer screen.)

So what’s been the coolest addition to my amazing journey? Remember that fortune cookie from my last post? It said I should watch for a new relationship to develop within the month. Well, with just 24 minutes to spare till the end of last month, an agent sent me an e-mail saying she was interested in representing my YA. We scheduled a phonecall for when I get back from the conference. And if it all works out, I’m going back to that Chinese restaurant and I’m crackin’ some more cookies.

- Jay

Oops...before I leave, I can’t forget my fishnet stockings.
Don’t worry, we’ll show you the pictures!

Two Girls, a Guy, and a Pizza -- Jay

Oh, and there were some yellow foo-foo drinks, too. We were at Eve’s house, pre-typing this week’s Fondue Friday #2. Fortunately, I didn’t drink. But Eve and Robin did, which got them saying things they probably wouldn’t have…at least, not with me around. Robin let it slip that her and Eve recently called each other (though they each blame the other for initiating the call) and the topic was my fashion sense. I thought I was doing fine with my five other senses, but obviously I needed one more.

Their conclusion? Too much brown in my wardrobe.

With this blog eternally linking the three of us, and with the SCBWI conference coming up (especially our "special guest" spot in Lisa Yee’s workshop), they feel I need to show a little more…pizzazz. Some light blues. Or yellows. How about some pink? That, of course, was Eve’s suggestion.

So tomorrow, they’re taking me shopping for new shirts. And that’s fine. I’ll even wear them at the conference. But I already know the shirt I’m wearing for Lisa’s workshop. I dug it out of my closet today, put it on, and asked my wife how it looked on me.

“It looks fabulous,” she said.

And it’s brown!

- Jay

Born to Rock...My World -- Robin

You may be wondering why I’ve scanned page 177 from Gordon Korman’s new book Born to Rock and immaturely hearted the page number.

Here’s the back story: A couple of years ago, Gordon spoke at the SCBWI National Conference and, being the social butterflies that we are (or “stalkers” as some prefer to call us), we managed to hang out with him in the hotel lobby for drinks. It was so much fun talking with him and I probably developed a harmless good-natured crush. After all, he’s a successful published author, funny…and bald (all things listed in my secret crush requirement book).

Well! You need to know that was the first year we won the costume contest by wearing glittery disco outfits (or “hooker” outfits as some prefer to call it) and I wore a pair of EXTREMELY tight gold pants. I actually borrowed them from Jay just minutes before the party started. They were the kind of pants you don’t let your mother know about (check out the picture). And Mom, look away.

Yep, that’s me. The tall one wearing the shimmery gold pants. The kind of girl some people might describe as “leggy” and “blonde” wearing an outfit that appeared to be “spray painted on.” At least, SOME people might describe it like that.

Flash forward to this week when I innocently read page 177 of Gordon’s new novel. Could that leggy blonde be…me!? According to my close friends that I surveyed with that question (which comes to about 72 now), it appears that I have finally been published…as a nameless, faceless, blonde chick in a teen book. Woo-hoo! I’m somebody now!

If the blonde that appears on page 177 of Gordon’s book is not me (but come on…how many tall blondes could the guy have thought about!!??) then I sheepishly retract this statement used for the sheer purpose of psychotic attention-getting (a rare condition also known as “Look at me! Look at me!”).

But I hear Gordon sold the movie rights to Born to Rock. Do I hear a casting call? Jay, give me those pants back!

- Robin

Way Too Embarrassing -- Jay

Lunch today was pretty interesting. Robin and I went to a costume shop to get ideas for this year’s Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators national conference. The theme for the after hours party is Jade Jubilee. If you click Disco! and Mermaids! under our Biggest Hits list, you’ll see what we wore the previous two years.

Our criteria for this year:
1. Jade...obviously.
2. The three of us need to match.
3. No wigs. Dancing + Wigs = Way too much sweat.
4. Cross-dressing is fun!

We thought we’d found the perfect costumes. Robin went into the dressing room first.

“Are you dressed?” I asked.
“Uh...yeah,” she said.
“Can I see?” I asked.
“Uh...no,” she said.
So I begged. I pleaded.
And finally, she opened the door.
“Uh...no,” I said.

Let’s just say, if I wore a costume that short, people would be able to tell I wasn’t a real woman from a mile away (okay, maybe not a full mile).

In the end, we did find three matching costumes that fit our criteria...and these costumes will be a lot less drafty.

- Jay

Step Away From the Editor -- Eve

Two years ago at the L.A. Conference I heard a fantastic editor speak. He was funny, concise, professional and looking for funny boy-books. Perfect! So when I saw Mr. Editor at the conference last year, I figured I’d chat with him. He had seemed nice enough.

I saw him at the hotel pool. I went over and said, “Hello.” He ignored me. Later that day I saw him just before he was going to speak at a breakout session I was heading to. I asked him if he still took “eight sentence query letters via e-mail” like he had said last year. His face turned red and he walked away. Hmm...

During the breakout session he announced his topic. “Conference Etiquette: How NOT to Approach an Editor” Hmm... He looked me straight in the eye (of course I sat front and center). He passed out a list.

1. Never approach an editor during his “downtime.” (Translation: When he’s sunning at the pool.)

2. Never talk to an editor just before he’s about to give a speech. (M’kay.)

3. Never follow an editor to the bathroom and slip your lame-ass manuscript under the stall while he’s doing his business. (Whew! Dodged a bullet on that one.)

So the lesson I learned and am passing on to any of you out there clueless enough to do as I did, is this...Umm, what lesson did I learn? Oh yeah. That’s not the end of the story. Late one night while I was in the hotel bar with Jay (NOT drinking Mojitos, but only milk so we could wake up super early, NOT hung-over, and make it to all the sessions like good little writers), I saw Mr. Editor. He sat and chatted with a few dudes I knew (NOT young, cute, 20-something dudes I had flirted with earlier). One of the dudes told me it would be a good idea to send Mr. Editor a martini. M’kay.

The short of it is...I sent him a pink martini, he came over and thanked me, and apologized for being so rude earlier. Apparently, he suffers from “stage fright” and was so nervous before his speech he couldn’t bear to talk to anyone.

Lesson: If you do annoy an editor at the conference, send him a pink drink when you see him at the bar. Oh, and flirting with cute 20-something dudes doesn’t hurt; somehow it will always work in your favor!

- Eve

Fondue Friday #1 - Gettin' Jiggy at SCBWI

Fondue Fridays
- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -

- - -

Each year at the SCBWI National Conference in Los Angeles, there's an after-hours theme party--hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, DJs one year, a live band the next, and dancing. Two years ago, the theme was the Glitter Ball. Last year they threw a Beach Bash. We took first place in the costume contests both years (scroll back a couple of days to see what we looked like). Recently, the three of us got together, placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, and discussed our experiences at the after-hours parties.

- - -

JAY: Okay, I'll start while the two of you chow down on Domino's. Let's talk about the Glitter Ball where the two of you dressed up like my...well, I think we’d all agree with what you looked like. Do either of you remember when we decided to dress like that?

ROBIN: It wasn't as planned as we thought it was going to be. We all decided to wear glittery glasses, but our outfits were not coordinated until about half an hour before our big "debut." Remember, Jay? You loaned me your wife's halter that Eve was going to wear, then I gave you my pants that Eve gave me and you gave me your pants that, well, I don't know who gave them to you. So basically, that's why my pants were so frickin' tight...you're skinny, dude!

JAY: Yeah, where did those pants come from? And Eve, where exactly did you get your get-up?

EVE: Um, well, you see, there's this website for...um...okay, okay it's strippers.com okay? There. It was the only place I could find good disco-y outfits. So it was a little tight and a lot revealing...whatever works to get me some attention, man!

JAY: I remember freaking out in the elevator on the way down. It took us forever to get dressed so the party was packed by the time we got there and we had no idea how people would react. But immediately people started asking if they could take their pictures with us. And I think that's important to talk about. Do you think dressing up helped in any way other than giving us an excuse to act silly?

EVE: Remember when we made our grand entrance and Robin and I were hanging on your arms and we did the loop around the whole party? That was insane! People were screaming and cheering and clapping. For me, the best part was feeling like a rock star (okay, so most people thought Jay had actually hired, um, "professionals" to escort him, but I felt like a star anyway). So, yeah, the attention was great because we got to meet some famous (and not so famous) children's book people who never would have otherwise given us the time of day.

ROBIN: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the walk around the party, because I think I blacked out. I do that a lot when I dress inappropriately and parade around in front of a crowd. I did like the fact that Jay was wearing 5-inch platforms and was finally a little taller than me. But the best part was getting to know our now favorite illustrator, David Diaz. What a cool guy, huh?

JAY: Very cool. And so humble. The four of us hung out for hours after the party. Eve and I couldn't believe we were hangin' with a Caldecott medal winning illustrator and, after a long time, Robin finally asked, "So, who are you?" Eve said, “This guy did Smoky Night!” and Robin basically freaked out. And then there's the coolest editor in the world…

EVE: OMG, dude! Can you believe we partied with the most famous and powerful children's editor in the Free World? And took pictures with him that now adorn our desks and probably his desk as well at Scholastic? So cool. See, dressing up and acting crazy REALLY does have its perks, people. I mean, part of this business is selling yourself (okay, maybe not as a hooker) so you gotta let your personality show at these things.

ROBIN: Yes, Mr. Levine (Harry Potter's editor) is the best. But the other perk was me and Eve getting the attention of the women in the ladies' room asking us where we're from. "Oh, we're from Sunset Blvd.," we said. And for some reason they believed us.

JAY: See, Eve thinks I make stuff up, but Mr. Levine asked me to mail him a copy of the picture we took with him. And last year, I swear, he told me it was up in his office. But let's move on to the Beach Bash. We went to a local costume shop to look for mermaid costumes but I ALMOST went as a lobster. That would've been a mistake.

EVE: Yeah, mermaids. Always a winner with the crowds. However, I think some people started to get a little jealous of all the attention we got. Remember when we won First Place again the second year? Someone booed us when we were on the stage.

ROBIN: Actually, I don't remember that because I think I blacked out again. But I'm sure that the suspect boo-er was Stephen Mooser (SCBWI President) who was just jealous after Jay gave him that little kiss but then totally ignored him the rest of the night. I hate when Jay does that.

JAY: Oh yeah. Totally forgot about that. Thanks. But seriously, it was on the cheek as we paraded by the judges and I just thought...nevermind. But we won, so maybe that was the tipping point. Though I do remember having my sequined butt grabbed by an author who shall remain nameless. But she was a published author so I didn't really mind.

EVE: Yeah, there seemed to be a lot of grab-ass goin' on there. Good times. But seriously, I had the time of my life both years. My mom saw the pics on the internet and said, "And this helps your writing career, um, how?" But I don't care. Being famous just for being famous is very much the thing de jour and it sure did get me a lot of editors' business cards. So, yay for me!

JAY: Though I must admit, I’m a little afraid of what they’ll choose as a theme this year. Or maybe we won’t dress-up at all. Yeah, right!

- - -

Fondue Filosophy
When in doubt, take a chance
wear sequined fins and shiny pants

...then dance!

Mermaids!

at the 2005 SCBWI National Conference

Beach Bash

- we won first place in the costume contest...again! -