I’m a fiddler.
No, you won’t find me balancing on a rooftop, silhouetted by moonlight, playing an instrument with a bow. But for the past couple weeks, I could easily be found on most nights hunched over my desk, glowing in the light of my monitor, endlessly tweaking my Powerpoint presentation.
On Saturday, I’ll be giving a workshop at the national SCBWI conference titled No Bookmarks Allowed: How to Inject Suspense into any Novel. And basically, I’m nervous as hell with a little bit of heck thrown in, too. I know I’ll be fine once I begin talking and there’s no turning back. But until that time comes, I haven’t been able to think about anything but my workshop.
Sometimes I’ll think about creative ways to improve it. But usually I’m just thinking of ways I might potentially blow it.
Also, I’ve been kind of cranky lately. (Shut up! At least I admit it! What’s your excuse!?!?) I’m not normally a cranky person, but I get that way when I don’t sleep. And when there’s a speech coming up that I’m nervous about, I just do not sleep much. I always think there’s a more creative way to get a point across and that I’ll find that creative way if I just stay up and stare at my monitor for another 15 minutes.
Of course, that doesn’t usually work. But I still try!
The past few days, friends have been e-mailing or texting me around midnight. Most of the messages consist of nothing more than Go To Bed. And even though they’re right…boy, that sure makes me even crankier!
What I’m getting at is, I’m actually kind of excited about my presentation. All of those extra 15 minutes (which usually piled on multiple times within the same night) might have paid off this time. But I'm afraid that for the first day-and-a-half of the four-day conference my mind will be distracted. So consider this an apology-in-advance to any of you who might run into Cranky Jay this weekend. I promise, once my workshop is over…it’s party time!