Fondue Friday #4 - One Week and Counting...

Fondue Fridays

- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -
- - -

Every year, we have a blast at the SCBWI National Conference in Los Angeles. But every year is a totally different experience. Recently, the three of us got together, placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, and discussed our thoughts and hopes for the next conference…which begins one week from today.

- - -

Jay: Okay, who wants to go first?
Robin: Well, you just did.
Jay: Okay, then who wants to go sec--…I mean…third?
Eve: I’ll go…wait, what are we talking about?
Robin: I think this is the last time we’re going to do this.
Jay: Robin’s in a bad mood cuz she had to put off her hair appointment. Nice hat, by the way.
Robin: I like to call it Redneck Chic. Let’s move on.
Eve: I love the hat! And, Jay…you’re wearing a hat too. Speaking of hats, what are you guys most excited about doing at the conference?
Jay: Just for your info, dear readers, Robin’s hat says Pheasants Forever. I think it’s from back home in Georgia.
Robin: Pheasants are forever. Now let’s move on. I’m looking forward to so many of the speakers, including the amazing Jay Asher who had better lose his hat by then…and his attitude.
Jay: It’s a Penguin hat. I’m just trying to represent!
Eve: Pheasants. Penguins. Who cares? I’m excited to meet blog readers like Suzanne Young and Laura Ludwig Hamor, who I’ve only met cyber-ly! And Christy Raedeke, who I only got to hang with a little bit in Big Sur.
Robin: Yes! And Rachel Cohn and David LaRochelle and…and…oh, who am I kidding…I can’t wait to get soy lattes all day long from the Starbucks in the lobby!
Eve: OMG! I was just going to say the same thing! Except my drink of choice is a café mocha. We are the same person, Robin!
Jay: You definitely are. Each year at the conference…each and every morning!…I’m told to get up early, go downstairs, and bring back your coffees while you “put your faces on.”
Robin: Thanks, Jay. Extra hot…don’t forget! Hopefully we’ll make it down in time for the faculty parade, where each faculty member says one inspired word into the microphone. Do you want to give our readers a hint as to what your word will be, Jay?
Eve: Ooh! Do not say something generic like creative or imagine. You should say…
Robin: Wait, you didn’t tell Eve yet?
Jay: No, back when I came up with it, it would’ve just frustrated her. But I think she’d like it now.
Eve: Wait, I know! Your word is…wait, why would it frustrate me? Is it menopause???
Robin: You’re right. It would’ve frustrated her.
Eve: What IS it? Loser? Cellulite? Dumb blond? No, that’s two words.
Jay: Come here, I’ll whisper it to you. [Jay whispers his word.]
Eve: Oh! NEVER would have guessed that one! Funny. Yes, maybe it would have frustrated me a few months back. But not now. Thanks for telling me!
Jay: Okay, Robin, what year did you first attend the conference?
Robin: My first year was 2003. The theme was the Mad Hatter Tea Party or something. I drove down by myself for one day and ended up crashing in Eve’s room that night. I remember thinking…I could make a habit out of this.
Eve: That’s right! We all hardly knew each other then. I remember sitting in my room with Jay chatting about how much I loved his new project, and insisting that he keep working on it. Back then it was a little thing called, Baker’s Dozen. Most of you now know it as Thirteen Reasons Why!
Jay: I remember that conversation so well! When you told me you loved my book, I remember thinking, “I think we could become really good friends.”
Robin: Awww. This is getting so cute. Let’s do more cute! When was your first year, Jay? What was that like?
Jay: 2000 was my first year…and it wasn’t so cute at first. I knew absolutely no one and I was so shy back then. But I ended up befriending Kathleen Duey, and she introduced me to so many cool people. By the end of the conference, I was more determined than ever to stick with this. And then, Eve, I think you came to the conference two years later, but we never even talked.
Eve: Yes, 2002 was my first. I had just moved to Cali, knew no one at the conference, but met a fabulous group of girls the first day--April Fritz, Kelly DiPucchio, Hope Vestergaard, Alice Pope, Lisa Wheeler--and they made me feel right at home. I do remember seeing a strange guy sitting all alone at the Saturday night luau dressed like the Hawaiian Punch logo-guy and playing a ukulele!
Jay: Yep. That was embarrassing…cuz NO ONE ELSE DRESSED UP THAT YEAR!!!
Robin: But this year, things will be much different!
Eve: Yes, because it’s not a luau, so you won’t need that ukulele. Don’t bring it. No, seriously. Don’t.
Robin: Right! This year will be very different. Jay’s book is out and he’s on the faculty and he’s going to be the hit of the conference. For me it’ll be different because…oh, wait…it won’t be different at all. Except we’ll be dressed in red!!!
Jay: Hey, Robin. I’m actually starting to like your Pheasants Forever hat. You look good in it.
Eve: Leave her hat alone!
Jay: No, I’m serious. I like it!
Robin: For real ya’ll, pheasants are forever.
Eve: Oh! Oh! I know! Your one word should be I’maNewYorkTimesBestsellingAuthorLookAtMeLookAtMe.
Robin: Or how about EveAndRobinWillBePublishedSoon.
Eve: Oh, oh, or MillionDollarContractsMovieDealsAndTheWholeShabangForBothOfYou.
Robin: Or ILoveEveAndRobinMoreThanLifeItself.
Eve: IWouldBeNothingWithoutThem.
Jay: [walks away]
Robin: Jay! We’re sorry.
Jay: I’m just getting more coffee.
Eve: Maybe his one word should just be creative.
Robin: Yeah. Creative. That’s good!

Magna Carta -- Eve

As I’m furiously completing this draft of my YA masterpiece, I’m constantly checking in with my novel and screenwriting reference books to make sure that I’m staying on track, avoiding common amateur mistakes, and following three-act structure, plot, and character rules.

One of these “how to write” books had a great exercise for keeping an author focused on his/her overall goals for the novel. I cannot remember which book suggested this piece of advice, but it is brilliant.

Create your own Magna Carta.

Your own personal Magna Carta is simply an honest list of things you like and dislike when reading stories. That’s it!

My Magna Carta:

LIKES
First-person point of view
Simple writing
Intense love stories
Humor (even intense dramas must have some)
Realistic characters, plot, setting, dialogue
Likeable characters
Makes me laugh and/or cry
Suspense
Surprise or twist endings
Multicultural (to me this means using characters from a variety of backgrounds; rich, poor, different customs, be liefs, religions, philosophies)

DISLIKES
Third-person POV
Pretentious writing or characters
Verbose writing or overuse of fancy words
Overly quirky characters
Unrealistic characters
Characters who speak too young/old for their ages
Mean-spirited or selfish protagonists
Slow/quiet
Overly depressing, disturbing, no comic relief, no hope (see: House of Sand and Fog, The Road)
Fancy, rich-people settings
Lame endings (out of the blue or abrupt)
Contrived Multicultural (Specifically, the use of token characters with pigment, trying to pass as “multicultural” writing. Drives me crazy! “Culture” implies a way of life, NOT a shade of pigment. Stepping down off soapbox now…)

For me the exercise is so simple, yet so useful. It’s a constant reminder of what I want (and do not want) to accomplish in telling a story. If I can just stick all the things I love to see in novels into my own novel, then I’ll be satisfied as an artist. Easier said than done, of course!

8 days to go until I hit my deadline. I just hope I’m doing my Magna Carta proud!

- Eve

Rehearsin' for SCBWI in L.A.

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

We've definitely got the moves. Now all we've gotta do is get our costumes ready for the afterhours party.

This year's theme? Paint the Town Red.

Bring it!

To My Dear Friends... -- Robin

Since Jay and Eve are busy reading my manuscript, they don’t have time for blogging right now. So you get me…again!

This time I need some advice. (Jay and Eve aren’t even able to provide basic friendship needs! But that’s okay. I asked them to read my book and ignore my
calls. They’re taking this very seriously!)

Question #1: My husband is leaving to go do some workin South America. Which means I’ll be doing the single-mom thing for a while. Waaaahhh! But now I can’t decide how to spend my time while he’s gone. Should I a) rearrange the furniture; b) scrub the bathrooms; or c) get a babysitter and go see a movie?

Question #2: If I was to get a babysitter and go see a movie, should I go see that Mamma Mia! movie? Or is that Batman movie as good as everyone says?

Question #3: I’ll change the subject now…my 6-year old son has become totally obsessed with Hannah Montana. Is this normal? Or am I a bad mother?

Question #4: Seriously…Mamma Mia! or The Dark Knight?

- Robin

Putting the Pen Down -- Robin

I have finally put down my red Uni-Ball Vision Elite pen because I'm done with my revisions. Woo-hoo!!! And we all know what that means…my son gets to eat fresh vegetables again! No more pizza and tofu dogs on a regular basis. At least, for a little while.

I have now passed my manuscript on to Jay and Eve so they can work their magic and make my somewhat decent story into an awesome story. They’re the best, I’m tellin’ ya!

I started on this manuscript almost two years ago when I attended a humor workshop put on by the lovely Mary Hershey. During that workshop, we did a writing exercise and I came up with a character, Carly, who is from The South and has an obsession with hair products. (Hmmm…wonder who's eerily similar to that description…)

Anyway, I wrote about me...I mean, Carly...and got a few chapters in when I realized that she had absolutely no story to go along with her. And for many months, I couldn’t come up with anything. But then, I had one of those flashes, the kind that hit you quickly and you stop what you’re doing and just stare for a while. It happened to me at 7 a.m. when I was in the middle of putting a load of whites into the dryer. I just stared at the dial and thought…Wow, I might be on to something here!

And now, 18 months later, I’ve finally put the finishing touches on that little idea I had while cleaning socks and underwear. What’s it about? Well...um…let’s see. It’s about a girl who discovers this thing that does this stuff and her mom tells her all this other stuff and she can’t figure out what to do with the stuff and the thing that her mom told her about...and stuff.

Yeah, I’m bad at summaries. In fact, when I first pitched this idea to my agent, it took me about half an hour to describe what I wanted to do. She was so wonderful and patient and didn’t even take a bathroom break during my long rambling attempt at a summary. Love her!

So that’s what Jay and Eve are for. Their job is to not only make the book rock, but to help me figure out how to summarize 175 pages of stuff into about 3 sentences. Until then, what I can tell you is the title: THE HAPPINESS PROJECT.

And when I handed copies over to Jay and Eve, I even gave them a girl and a boy version.


Can you guess which Mermaid’s which?

- Robin

18 Days...Si Se Puede! -- Eve

Yes, it can be done.

After briefly chatting with Suzanne Young the other day via email about her numerous books, and the fact that she can crank out a first draft in 4 days (yes, I said 4 days!) I felt motivated. And, admittedly, slothful, lame and inadequate. But mostly motivated. Makes my 18-day deadline seem quite silly...and attainable!

A few days ago I had a minor "procedure" to remove a "thing" that hopefully will not turn out to be a "melanoma," or "carcinoma," or any other malignant "oma" for that matter. It was a pain in my ass (not literally, but close!) but ended up being a blessing because the derm dude had to cut a little more than anticipated. And it hurt. And there were a bunch of stitches and blood and a giant bandage and I cannot shower for several days or exercise for a week! (Insert sympathy *here*)

See the silver lining yet?

Well, turns out my procrastination tactics have all been thwarted! Running...not allowed. Hot tub...can't get wet. Sleep...hurts too much. Softball...not gonna happen. Tanning...do I need to go there? All I can humanly do is sit and write. The situation over the last few days has taught me that I really can keep my butt in the chair and write a crap-load of words. I mean, a lot of words. And all strung together they even seem to make some sort of sense! At this rate I really think, for the first time this month, that I'll meet my crazy deadline.

Funny thing, too, is the serendipitous timing of this "procedure." In my YA novel, I'm now going back to the beginning to revise the part where my main character heads to the doctor for test results that will reveal if she does, in fact, have a deadly disease. Now, of course, my potential deadly disease is a lot less ominous than her deadly disease. But, the situation has provided me with some authentic feelings of anxiety about having a deadly disease (which I've never faced before). And, I am therefore infusing a lot more real emotion into the scene that was impossible to tap into before. So, it's a good thing all around. And y'all know how much I love my research!

Special thanks to my new writing coach, Eric Elfman, who cracked the whip, Agent Laura for her everlasting patience, Greg "H" Guss, fellow Bruin who emails me motivational messages like, "Hey, I just wrote 10 pages during the America's Got Talent commercial break...what have you done?" and, of course, Robin and Jay for...um...generously bringing me all those buckets of Australian Kookubura Licorice (the red kind) from Trader Joe's and a keg of Diet Coke...I'm thanking you in advance because I know you two are going to show up any day bearing inspirational gifts. I'm waiting by the door...

Si Se Puede!

- Eve