Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I Have Foot-In-Mouth Disease -- Robin

In order to support my addictive writing habit, I am applying for a new job. Hopefully with lots of money and a boss who doesn’t notice that I take little breaks and write little stories.

Yesterday, I had an interview. It was a brutal hour and a half. That might explain why my brain fell out at the end. I could sense it coming to a conclusion. She spoke of contacting me next week and checking my references. My body started to relax, which is exactly the moment my foot inserted itself into my mouth. (Ouch! I’m a size 9)

He said, “Let me ask you one more question, Robin. Who is your hero? What person do you admire the most and why?”

First of all, it’s a stupid question. And second of all, some people don’t like Oprah. Which would have been a better answer than what I said.

“Bob Marley,” I said. I had just finished listening to his Confrontation album (which is my fave). I rambled on about how he made such positive social change and spread a spiritual message throughout the world. Not bad.

Now for the foot.

“But it’s not like I’m promoting the smoking of ganja, or anything.” That got a chuckle from the dude across from me in a Hawaiian shirt.

Later, I emailed my supportive friends, Eve and Jay, to tell them of my interesting choice of words. My phone rang, and when I said “Hello,” I heard Jay say, “You said ganja...in an interview!”

Thanks, my friend. I knew you’d understand.

Since I’m sure I didn’t get the job, I’ll be busy plucking my foot from my mouth so I can get back to the business of writing. As of today, my main character loves Bob Marley too.

- Robin


Debby G. said...

LOL. I'd hire you! I like a person with a sense of humor. Now if you said he was your hero because he was a pothead just like you, and how long are the breaks, and is there a smoking area or do the bathrooms have windows, and do they have a vending machine there so you can get munchies... that would be different.

I was once on a lunch interview for an attorney job in L.A. and an ex-boyfriend happened to be in the restaurant and went to our table and started talking about old times and saying I was looking gooood and what was my number. OMG, so embarrassing! What are the odds of running into anyone in L.A. anyway?

It was bad enough I'd ordered a fajita, which was really stupid because you have to make the thing yourself and then eat it with your hands and pray stuff doesn't fly out while you're eating, and try to sound halfway-intelligent at the same time.

Anyway, I got the job.

Of course, they went out of business shortly before I was to start working there, but that's a whole nother story.

Disco Mermaids said...

Okay, seriously, between reading Robin's post and Debby's comment, I've got Cafe Mocha coming out my nose from laughing so hard! Sorry about your 'Foot in Mouth Disease' Robin. And I'm sorry I've got 'Living Under a Rock Disease' and didn't even know you had a job interview! I'm the worst friend.

But, I liked your answer about Bob Marley. It says a lot about you...you're liberal, caring, and funny! I'd hire you too. And not just because you could score me some good ganja...but it doesn't hurt.

Love you,

(And who needs a day job when you're going to be a rich and famous writer any day now? Jobs are overrated, I tell you.)

Gregory K. said...

I suspect if they're the type of people that rule you out for that comment, then you weren't likely to be really happy working there, either.

Not, of course, that that means you HAD to say it :-)

Disco Mermaids said...

Update: Bob Marley rules!
Just got the phone call tonight...they want to offer me the job!
I was like, "Yah, mon, I'll take your shackles in da concrete jungle...Jah, knows!"
Actually, I said, "Why, yes, I will accept thy offer. God bless America."
Whew. Now I can get back to writing...

Miss P AKA Her Royal Cliqueness said...

Robin that's hilarious. I mean...well it will be hilarious if you get the job. For now, let's just say that's hella funny!

Being as how you said you DON'T promote the smoking of a little herb (yeah, thought I'd go old school with that one) I can't see why they wouldn't hire you.


Miss P AKA Her Royal Cliqueness said...

Oh shoot, I should have read the other comments first.

Congrats and pass the ganja.

This thing will have me laughing all weekend!