There are two ways my agent can contact me, by email or phone. Emails are generally reserved for “Passes” on my novel (we don’t call them “rejections” anymore because it sounds harsh and implies that I’ll suffer some deep psychological scarring that will later require extensive and expensive psychotherapy). We also email back and forth if I’m headed for her neck of the woods and want to set up some face-to-face coffee-talk time, or if she wants to check in on my work-in-progress progress, or if I’m procrastinating on making progress on my work-in-progress and just want to say, “Hello.”
But phone calls, well, phone calls are a whole ‘nother story. So, imagine my surprise when the phone rang late Friday afternoon and the creepy monotone Caller ID lady voice didn’t say, “Call from…Mel-lom, Ro-bin” or “Call from…Ass-her, Jay-yuh.” (I’m not being funny. That’s how she says it.) It scared the crap out of me because not only are Jay and Robin the only two people who have ever called me at home, but it was a call from her. Her!
To avoid jinxing anything, allow me to recreate said conversation in Mad Lib format:
“Hello, Eve. It’s me, ___________.”
“Hello there!” I said, ____________.
“____________, a marvelous ___________ over at _________, ________s your ________ and wants to know if you are agreeable to ________.”
“________?? Hmm, let me think. Um, _______!”
“________ thinks that ________ is a little too ________ for the ________ and wonders if you’d consider _______ing the ________ to make _________ a little more _________ so it’s not so _________. What do you think?”
“Hmm, let me think. Um, ________!!!”
“Great, let’s _______ next week and then we’ll _______.”
I spent the weekend ________ing the ________. Jay was out of town, so I made Robin meet me at _________ so she could ________. Oh, Robin _______ed, all right. So, I’ve spent the last 48 hours ________ing and ________ing and I think I’ve finally got my problem _________ed. Now let’s just hope and pray and cross fingers and toes and ______s and ______s that _______ calls back and says, _______. Then for sure I’ll be _______ and ________ and then the three of us will ________ at ________ this weekend when we’re in _______ for the ________ where Jay will be _________ing! Of course, things in publishing don’t always happen that quickly, so it may be _______ before I hear _______ about _______. I’ll keep you posted. Unless _______ happens. Then I’ll be ________.
Mermaid Meet-Up: The three of us will be at the L.A. Times Festival of Books this weekend, and we'd love to meet ya! A good meeting spot on Sunday would be the Penguin booth (#813) at 11a.m. where Jay will be signing copies of Thirteen Reasons Why, or at Young Hall 50 at 1p.m. where he'll be on a panel with Robin Benway, Cecil Castellucci, and Michelle Serros called Young Adult Writing: Not Just for Kids.