Presenting: The Newbery Jewels

Peacemakers that we are, the Disco Mermaids have come up with a solution to the controversy surrounding the 2007 Newbery Awards. Librarians who feel nervous about children finding scrotums in unexpected places can now freely express their opinions using this sticker...without needing to remove any books from their shelves.

_____________________
from The Higher Power of Lucky
by Susan Patron

Sammy told of the day when he had drunk half a gallon of rum listening to Johnny Cash all morning in his parked ’62 Cadillac, then fallen out of the car when he saw a rattlesnake on the passenger seat biting his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.

A Newbery Solution

Tomorrow, the Disco Mermaids will reveal their solution to the biggest scandal to hit children's literature since Opal Mehta got caught at a Rainbow Party.

ARC-ology -- Jay

ARC-ology - n. The scientific study of Advance Reading Copies.

The plan: Eve and I were to meet at Robin’s for a night of brainstorming through the story and characters of my second novel.

What happened: I went with Robin to pick up her son at pre-school. Upon returning to Robin’s house, my wife called from our house. “You just got a package from Penguin!” I told her to open it, which she did immediately. Then she started screaming and almost hyperventilating and I told her to calm down because I wasn't fluent in Dolphin. The Advance Reading Copies of Thirteen Reasons Why had arrived! Then my wife turned to the dedication page and started crying (which made her even harder to understand). Even though our house was forty-five minutes away, she really wanted us to see them immediately so she drove on up and we all became ARC-ologists.

Right now, even though I’m not a fan of clichés, I honestly feel like a sponge. I’m making sure to soak up every emotion a first time novelist is allowed to experience. And Razorbill did such a cool job designing the front and back covers, the spine, and the chapter headings that I…well…my sponge overfloweth with emotions.

When I finally left Robin’s at 11:30pm, I was so ecstatic that even getting pulled over by the police couldn’t bring me down.

- Jay

Switching Gears (And I Can't Drive Stick Shift!) -- Eve

Is it just me, or is it really daunting to switch from one book to another? I was all sucked into my second book (YA romance). I mean, to the point where my story and characters were spinning in my head, like hamsters on a wheel, constantly! I made the newbie writer's mistake of thinking I was completely done with my first novel because my agent had sent it to a few editors. Ah, 3 1/2 years of intense work, done. Now all I have to do it wait, right?

My friend KT (Hi, KT!!) reminded me not to count on hearing back from editors within a few weeks (like Jay), but instead suggested I realistically plan on waiting several months, and if I did hear sooner I'd be pleasantly surprised. Bah! I blew it off because I knew better. As soon as those editors feasted their eyeballs on my brilliant work, they'd be calling within days to offer me that seven figure deal and invites to P. Diddy's yacht party just like my horoscope said! As usual, KT was right, and it's been four months. I've collected a handful of “very good” rejections, where editors congratulated me on the original voice, entertaining characters, powerful and important ideas, great writing, etc, etc... But so far, no one has fallen in love with the story itself.

I promised my agent I'd quickly make major revisions so that the central problem would provide a bigger “hook” for today's competitive market. In hindsight, the plot did need to be intensified to fit the underlying themes and backgrounds of my characters.

Problem is, it took two whole weeks to really switch my mind gears from the lovey-dovey Southern California beach scene (where my YA romance takes place) back to the gritty and harrowing world of Los Angeles inner city gang kids. Don't get me wrong, I loved being in the world of my first novel (Kidz In the Wood…a MG about troubled inner city kids at a college-run summer camp, peppered with humor, adventure, and Darwinian themes), but it's a completely different planet than my YA book.

So, I've gone back to TiVo-ing prison documentaries, changed my “Evie's favorites” iPod lineup back to gangsta rap, and spend my evenings with my BFF's Alan Lawrence Sitomer, Walter Dean Myers, and Mark Salzman. (Well, with their books, anyway.) Like a method-actor, I feel like I'm morphing from one role to the next. It's no wonder so many novelists end up going insane, a la Johnny Depp in Secret Window!

- Eve

Snow Daze -- Robin

Here in California, we have to pay good money to play in the snow. So this past weekend we shelled out a bunch of cash so we could get cold and whine. But when we weren’t whining, we were enjoying the beauty of our surroundings at Sequoia National Park.

I’ve visited almost every National Park (even Wind Cave in South Dakota!) and I always do the same thing at each one: Head straight to the visitor's center and check out the children’s book section.

While I stood looking at Sequoia’s children’s books, I overheard a couple of park rangers talking to other visitors. Now, I love national park rangers just as much as the next person. And that’s mainly due to the fact that no matter where you are, they all look exactly the same: young and attractive with that hip, crunchy-granola look that consists of tan and green uniforms, tangled hair, and very expensive shoe wear.

These park rangers were no different. They explained to the visitors how the Giant Sequoia is the largest living thing on Earth and how majestic it is and a thing of beauty to be respected by all. As soon as the visitors walked away, here’s what they said:

Crunchy-granola ranger #1: So anyways, did you hear that they buried Anna Nicole’s body?

Crunchy-granola ranger #2: Dude, no way! Where’d they bury her?

Crunchy-granola ranger #1: Hold on, let me check my Yahoo news…oh, somewhere, like, in the Bahamas.

Crunchy-granola ranger #2: Sweeeeeet.

Well, at that point, I started laughing…but not at the rangers (I was already up on my latest Anna Nicole news). I was laughing because I came across a kids’ book. Apparently, there are Who Pooped in the Park? books for every National Park. Who knew!? And by the way, I may have visited a lot of National Parks, but I have never pooped in the parks. Just near them.

After that, I decided to get my family’s help with revising my young adult novel. I mean, we were in an isolated section of a snow-covered mountain, what better way to spend our time? Um, apparently, my son had his own plans…

The approach…

The nuh-uh, no way, you are in big trouble if you throw that at me reaction from the target…

The aftermath…

Yes, I was attacked with the largest snowball on the face of the Earth. The Giant Sequoia would have been proud. Needless to say, I pooped in the park.

- Robin

Welcome to California -- Jay

Photo taken by Carrie Watson*

For you authors who haven't met your editors in person yet, let me set you at ease. I went out to dinner with my editor last Saturday and not once did she correct my grammar, tell me to flesh out my personality, or ask me to hurry up and get to the point.

Kristen was speaking at the SCBWI Asilomar conference and since I was "in the neighborhood," I asked if she'd like to grab a bite to eat. As Robin can confirm (since I called her ten minutes before picking up Kristen), I was extremely nervous. I imagined Kristen flying back to NYC and saying, "We can not let this guy appear in public." Did I actually think I'd say something horrendously stupid? Let me transcribe part of the phone conversation I had with Kristen a couple hours before we met...

KRISTEN: I can't wait to finally meet you in person!

ME: Here, too.

Here, too? See, that's why I need an editor.

I'd made reservations at Joe Rombi's. The food was delicious and the conversation was (to my relief) wonderful! We discussed everything from Space Mountain to Brokeback Mountain. And in the valley between those mountains, we discussed children's literature. Everything from the Newbery scrotum debate to the Printz committee's ballsy selections. We discussed books she'd worked on (from Pop! to R.L. Stine's Fear Street series) as well as my inspiration for Thirteen Reasons Why.

In the end, I'm thrilled that my first novel is a Kristen Pettit novel. Not only does she "get" my book...she "gets" me.

And get this! Both times that I opened the passenger door and closed it behind her, she leaned across the console and opened my door for me. What a gal!

- Jay

*Ms. Watson is both my Sister-in-Agent and Sister-in-Editor