Here in California, we have to pay good money to play in the snow. So this past weekend we shelled out a bunch of cash so we could get cold and whine. But when we weren’t whining, we were enjoying the beauty of our surroundings at Sequoia National Park.
I’ve visited almost every National Park (even Wind Cave in South Dakota!) and I always do the same thing at each one: Head straight to the visitor's center and check out the children’s book section.
While I stood looking at Sequoia’s children’s books, I overheard a couple of park rangers talking to other visitors. Now, I love national park rangers just as much as the next person. And that’s mainly due to the fact that no matter where you are, they all look exactly the same: young and attractive with that hip, crunchy-granola look that consists of tan and green uniforms, tangled hair, and very expensive shoe wear.
These park rangers were no different. They explained to the visitors how the Giant Sequoia is the largest living thing on Earth and how majestic it is and a thing of beauty to be respected by all. As soon as the visitors walked away, here’s what they said:
Crunchy-granola ranger #1: So anyways, did you hear that they buried Anna Nicole’s body?
Crunchy-granola ranger #2: Dude, no way! Where’d they bury her?
Crunchy-granola ranger #1: Hold on, let me check my Yahoo news…oh, somewhere, like, in the Bahamas.
Crunchy-granola ranger #2: Sweeeeeet.
Well, at that point, I started laughing…but not at the rangers (I was already up on my latest Anna Nicole news). I was laughing because I came across a kids’ book. Apparently, there are Who Pooped in the Park? books for every National Park. Who knew!? And by the way, I may have visited a lot of National Parks, but I have never pooped in the parks. Just near them.
After that, I decided to get my family’s help with revising my young adult novel. I mean, we were in an isolated section of a snow-covered mountain, what better way to spend our time? Um, apparently, my son had his own plans…
The nuh-uh, no way, you are in big trouble if you throw that at me reaction from the target…
Yes, I was attacked with the largest snowball on the face of the Earth. The Giant Sequoia would have been proud. Needless to say, I pooped in the park.