What other job in the universe could I possibly have that would allow me to:
A) Sit in my pink jammies ALL day
B) Drink café mochas ALL day
C) Have no “official” boss
D) Wander to Google-Earth, Classmates.com, and other blog sites during the workday, without anyone looking over my shoulder
E) Enjoy the “creative process” (i.e. napping, sunning in the backyard, walking the dogs) on my own time
F) Call a trip to B&N, to browse the new teen books and gossip with Jay and Robin, “research”
G) Go see “Wordplay”, “Little Miss Sunshine”, and “Snakes On a Plane” all in one week, and call it “research” (What?? There were TONS of teens in the theater watching “S.O.A.P”)
H) Talk to Jay and Robin 10 times a day, on the phone, at my house, at lunch, at dinner, during coffee, at the movies, on the phone again, IM-ing at midnight…all in the name of work
I) Attend multiple writing conferences a year, eat, drink, schmooze, dance, dress up like a fool, drink some more, stay up all night discussing, um, “writing” with Caldecott and Printz-winning writers and illustrators, and then do it all again the next day…all in the name of work
J) Have the permission to say, “I’m self-employed” or “I’m an artist” whenever people ask what I do for a living. They don’t need to know that I’m pre-published, only made $200 last year (for that little story I sold to Chicken Soup For The Dog-Lover’s Soul), and spend my days in pink jammies perfecting café mochas (and my tan!)
The only other jobs I would consider if this writing thing doesn’t work out:
A) Taste-Quality Technician at Cinnabon
B) Exotic Spa-Resort Reviewer (you thought I was going to say “Exotic- something else”…didn’t you?? Okay, maybe I’d consider that, too!)
C) Person who is responsible for “disposing” of the Mrs. Fields cookies that aren’t round enough or don’t have enough chocolate chips in them
D) Assistant to Colin Ferrell (or in the words of Libba Bray, “I’d love to get a job as Colin Ferrell’s ottoman!”)
E) Production assistant on anything having to do with Brad Pitt. Sorry, Angelina, I still love him!
F) Player on S N L (Hi, Will Forte!! Party on, dude!)
G) Pro Baseball player…’cause, I mean, c’mon! Money, travel, dudes in tight pants. Does it get any better than that?
H) Assistant to Kevin Sites…That hot man reporting for the “Hot Zone” via Yahoo. You know, the dude who travels the world reporting/blogging from war-torn countries all by himself. You know, the dude who pioneered “So-Jo” (Solo Journalism). I figure after five years of So-Jo, he could use a companion!
So, if anyone in the corporate Cinnabon, Mrs. Fields, Colin Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Yankees or “Hot Zone” offices is reading…call me. ;) I’m just sitting here in my pink jammies.