Monday, October 08, 2007

For All My Cat People Out There -- Robin

Our family cat, Lucy, is close to dying. She’s very old and is on her way to that big Catnip God in the sky.

I thought of doing one of those posts where I describe the spiritual connection I have with my cat and how she understands me and how she can see into my soul and how I know when she wants salmon, not tuna. But I can’t do that. You see, Lucy and I…well, we don’t get along very well.

My husband (who was then my boyfriend) brought her home to my cramped apartment after finding her in the woods near a gas station in Athens, Georgia. Which should have tipped him off right there: she’s a feral cat!! Not the kind born inside a cozy box at the neighbor’s house or in a cozy cage at PetSmart. In fact, every time we took Lucy to the vet for shots, they had to wear those leather gloves they use for holding falcons and eagles.

From the moment Lucy met me, she didn’t like me. Actually she didn’t like any women. She looooooooved my husband, so I assumed she felt she had to “get me out of the way” so she could have him all to herself.

Over the years I’ve spent many hours tending to my wounds which she inflicted only when my husband was in the other room…which caused marital strife every time I started up my “Lucy is trying to kill me” accusations.

But in the past weeks, I think Lucy and I have come to an understanding and made our peace with each other. We’ve finally made that spiritual connection and I know exactly when she wants salmon, not tuna. And now that she’s dying, I am very sad.

Now, you probably didn’t come to the blog today hoping to read a cat story. After all, I realize that all people in the world fall into one of two categories: Cat Lovers or Cat Haters.

But then there are the Allergic-to-Cats People, who are really just Cat Haters with a guilty conscience. They’re the types who come to your house and pop Claritin like they’re Tic-tacs and say things like, “Could you put Lucy outside? **Sniff, sniff** Sorry, it’s just my allergies.” Which made sense for Eve to say since Lucy hates women, but Jay!? Well, actually that makes sense, too. Do I need to remind everyone of Jay’s famous Has Anyone Seen My Masculinity post? (Sure I do!)

So I offer to you the following very short video that my buddy CynJay and I discovered while YouTube surfing with my five-year-old. It’s one of those clips that get really funny about the fifth time you watch it. And it will satisfy all kinds of cat people…the lovers…the haters…and maybe even the allergy fakers.

This is for you, Lucy.

- Robin


Kelly Fineman said...

Robin, that made me laugh until I cried the first time I played it. And it gets funnier and funnier the more you watch it. Even thinking about it elicits snorts of glee.

I am sorry to hear about Lucy, even if she was Satan's spawn for most of her days.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about Lucy. I guess during her eulogy you can always say you were thankful she didn't give you Cat-Scratch-Fever. Here's to a painless passing. Lamy

Disco Mermaids said...

Geez, even just watching those cats fight is making my nose run.

- Jay

cynjay said...

As I recall...Lucy and I got along famously. Maybe her kitty-dementia had already settled in by then.

Glad to introduce the merboy to YouTube. I'm garnering a huge list to show him the next time I visit ;)

Disco Mermaids said...

Yes, Cynthia, you were the one female she seemed to bond with. Maybe because of your fancy Cat Whispering petting.

And yes, we must do more future YouTube surfing. I am now totally addicted!

robin said...

Hm...our cat (which I got for my husband) dislikes my husband but adores me. However, the only one who gets the scratches and bites is also me...perhaps Lucy's spirit will live on in Bonzai? (Though if so, I hope he begins to love my husband....)