A Smell of My Own Medicine -- Jay

There’s nothing about writing in this post. I just want you to know why I’m so proud of my wife.

But first, a li’l backstory…

In college, my roommate worked at Barnes & Noble and didn’t get off till midnight. I would meet him and a few other friends at Denny’s, where we’d eat seasoned fries and drink coffee for a couple hours before heading home. It was within those cushy booths that I perfected the fine art of comedic timing. My goal, whenever a new person joined us, was to get his or her coffee to come squirting through at least one nostril.

Sometimes I was able to do it alone. But quite often, it required my roommate to do a little tag-team with me. Since we had identical senses of humor, we would immediately understand when the other person was delicately setting up a joke. For example, say the new person on the other side of the booth was beginning to lift the coffee mug to his or her lips. My roommate would say something which sounded innocent enough. And then, just as the victim’s throat opened up to swallow, I would turn the "innocent" subject around…and the coffee would see fresh air once again.

My wife never understood the humor in that.

But just the other day, we were sitting in my car getting ready to go into a theater to see Kung Fu Panda. I was quickly downing my coffee because hot liquids were not allowed inside…and lukewarm, apparently, counts as hot. Unbeknownst to me, my wife began laying the groundwork for a messy pay-off, and I was paying close attention to everything she said. And just as my throat began to open, she seized the opportunity.

But it didn’t work. I was able to keep the coffee in my mouth.

So I kept trying to swallow before she came up with a back-up plan, but the giggles kept the liquid from going down. So my wife leaned close to my face, and with a voice which sounded like the spawn of Janis Joplin and Satan, she shouted, “Do it!!!”

And for the first half of Kung Fu Panda, all I smelled was coffee.

I’m proud of you, babe.

I taught you well!

- Jay


BONUS COOLNESS: Check out this NPR All Things Considered report. (Thank you so much, Amber!)