Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Boring Bachelor -- Jay

Okay, I’m not really a bachelor. But my wife won’t be home for the next ten days…so you know what that means! I’m gonna do all the things that drive her absolutely nuts without having to witness any eye-rolls, head-shakes, or hear her say under her breath, “For better or for worse, that’s what I agreed to.” And do you wanna know what I discovered when I gave her a kiss goodbye just a few hours ago and entered into this temporary bachelorhood?

I am soooooooo dull.

Cuz tucked away in my backpack was the sole source of my bachelor excitement: documentary DVDs. If my wife comes home in ten days and finds some dude in her house with black bags hanging below his eyes, it’s from staying up way too late watching documentary DVDs.

When I came to the realization of how dull I'd become, I decided to be a bit badder while she’s away. So I’m not gonna make the bed! I’m gonna get up in the morning, throw off the covers, and they’re gonna stay thrown off until I climb back into bed and tuck myself in for the night…which is gonna be really late cuz I’ll have watched a couple of documentaries by then.

The other Mermaids wanted to know if I was gonna somehow tie this post into a discussion about writing. My answer: Nope! This post has absolutely nothing to do with writing. Sorry! But you can't make me do it.

(Oooooh, I have become such a rebel in such a short amount of time.)

- Jay

P.S. So where did my wife run off to for ten days? To Scotland. She and two of her sisters are taking their momma on a dream vacation to the Land o’ Kilts & Bagpipes. And when she gets back, you can bet I’ll have the bed sheets freshly washed and tightly tucked…just like she likes them.


Katie said...

Jay - I am laughing - maybe you should invite Robin's History channel loving husband over for some of this wild fun you're planning! Hope it is a wonderful and messy week.

lkmadigan said...

You are such a party animal.

Don't hurt yourself!

P.S. I went to Scotland in June. Then I fantasized about moving there.

Wild About Words said...


Don't forget the Doritos (don't clean up the crumbs) and if you're really feeling wild, a cold, frosty root beer.

Enjoy the "dull" days. Sometimes they're the best.


Disco Mermaids said...

Jay, Jay, Jay...

I have a proposal for you:

Since you're a swinging single bachelor for the next few days, and you know how your mermaids looooove to get wild and party...would you babysit so Eve and I can go out?


Disco Mermaids said...

Katie, Robin's husband actually lent me one of the documentaries I plan on watching.

And sure, Robin, why not. I've babysat so you and Eve could go out before. I'll try to find a Spongebob: Behind the Scenes for us to watch.

- Jay

Debby G said...

Ooh, I'm boring too! Some of my fave documentaries:

Jesus Camp

Hoop Dreams (my very fave)


anything by Michael Moore


Comedian (the most inspiring movie about writing I've ever seen)

Whatsitsname, the one where all the comedians tell that dirty joke

The Thin Blue Line or something like that, about a guy on death row who doesn't seem guilty.

What a wild and crazy guy you are!

Anonymous said...

my hub's away for the weekend too and i'm wild and crazy--know what i'm doing: OFFICE season 3--ALL THREE DISCS!!!!

hold me back.

have fun--


Katie said...

Okay - Heidi, I realize I have no idea who you are, but I have Tivo'd a million Office episodes and was gonna watch them tonight too! yippee!!

Jay - you might should get some of these too - they're great - but the british version is even better.

Katie said...

i think "might should" is not grammatically correct - oops! (I feel the need to correct myself since this is a writery site - yikes!)

It's probably a southern thang.

Mac McCool said...

Is this the SAME JAY who danced like an wild animal at the summer SCBWI conference??? ;-D

Hey, Jay, I can totally relate!

Disco Mermaids said...

Debby, I've seen all of those docs except two...and those two are on my to-watch list.

Mac, that wasn't dancing. That was me trying desperately to maintain balance in zebra-skinned platform shoes.

- Jay

cynjay said...

When DH is away I watch all my Tivo'd episodes of What Not To Wear in one long snarky frenzy.

I went to university in Scotland for a year, and took my mom on a trip there about 10 years ago. It was fab, and they've picked a beautiful time for it.

Tell her to avoid the haggis. No matter what anyone says, avoid the haggis. And have her bring you some chocolate covered McVitties. And candy. They do great candy bars in Scotland. Oh, hang on...I'm going to have to go and make a list.

Anonymous said...

kate: that's awesome. you can visit me here because my blogger id isn't working:

today i interview the fabulous andrew karre, FLUX editor!

Kristine said...

So, I work in a bookstore, and the promo copies of Thirteen Reasons Why just got mailed out, and I'm the lucky lady who got my hands on one.

Holy crap, the book is amazing. I literally just finished it about fifteen minutes ago, so I'm not more articulate right now, but wow. I will be comparing this book to books like Speak, The Body of Christopher Creed, and Staying Fat For Sarah Burnes all holiday. Beautifully, beautifully done.

Disco Mermaids said...

The funny thing about using words like holy crap, amazing, wow, and beautifully done is that, even when you're not feeling articulate, you can still make an author blush.

- Jay

(Now, if you're trying to make an author pass out, just compare his book to anything by Ms. Anderson, Ms. Plum-Ucci, or Mr. Crutcher.)