Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Snappy Answers: A Contest

In case you haven’t been paying attention, Jay’s debut novel, Thirteen Reasons Why, comes out in less than a month. Like most authors for children and teens, there are a few frustrating questions he gets asked repeatedly. Usually, when confronted with such questions, his right eye begins to twitch and the questioner slowly backs away. But now he needs to start acting professionally and offer some well-thought-out answers.

In exchange for your help, we’re giving away three t-shirts produced by Penguin in honor of Thirteen Reasons Why’s starred-review in Kirkus. The back of the shirt includes the last line in that review, and Jay will now model the front of the shirt for you. (Jay, say, "I love onions!")


photo courtesy of CynJay (no relation)


Simply leave an answer to one of the following questions in the comment section of this post, and be sure to mention which question you’re answering. All answers must be submitted before Saturday. Early next week, we’ll announce the winners (we hope to choose one answer from each question...but, depending on hilarity, we reserve the right to award multiple shirts to the same question). All winners will also receive some spiffy Thirteen Reasons Why bookmarks!

Enter as often as you'd like. But please, absolutely no more than that.

And now...get snapping!



Snappy Answers to Frequently Frustrating Questions

Q&A #1
Q: You wrote a book? Oh, what’s it about?
A: It’s a novel for teens that deals with suicide.
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?
A: ???

Q&A #2
Q: You’re an author? You must like the Harry Potter books, huh?
A: I do. They’re great.
Q: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?
A: ???

Q&A #3
Q: You signed a two-book contract?
A: Yes. Yes, I did.
Q: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?
A: ???

22 comments:

cynjay said...

Q#3: Yes. It turns out that the whole thing was just a dream. She's fine.

Anonymous said...

Q&A #1
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?

A: Yes. The images are in Times New Roman, 12” font, and arranged with a 1” inch margin on 24 lb – 115 bright color inkjet paper from Office Depot. We are talking about the original masterpiece of course. I’m sorry to say it’s been sold. Penguin is selling prints though. Would you like to buy one, or perhaps two? I happen to have several copies in my pocket . . . If that’s not enough, Robin and Eve have more.

Q&A #2
Q: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?
A: Yep.

Q&A #3
Q: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?
A: Yeah, except Nancy dies from the get go. (This statement should be followed with loud maniacal laughter.)


Your agent might want you to reconsider my suggestions. Ha.

Kimberly Lynn

Hélène B said...

Oh, nice shirt!

Q&A #1

Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?

A: I would have, but the editors thought Manga was much too dark for this project.

Q&A #2

Q: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?

A: I could have, but I decided to donate it all to charity. I make far too much money already at these book promos answering dumb questions.

Q&A #3

Q: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?

A: Kind of. Actually, I have Nancy Drew come in on the second book to discover it wasn’t a suicide after all. It’s called Thirteen Suspects.

MotherReader said...

The answers. The beauty is in the simplicity - and a pause before answering.

1. Yes, yes I did.
2. Yes, yes I am.
3. Yes, yes it is.

Jen said...

1. Two burgers with everything.
2. Fries.
3. Would you like ketchup with that?

LitWitch said...

Brevity:

A1: Um...no.
A2: Yes, that's the plan.
A3: Um...no.

Honesty:

Q1: Did you do your own illustrations?

A1: Yes. I paint pretty pictures with words.

Q2: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?

A2: G-d-willing. Care to buy a copy?

Q3: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?

A3: In the sense that this is a series of books, yes. In the sense that this is about a young woman who repeatedly solves the case, no.


And Now with Added Snark:

Q1: Did you do your own illustrations?

A1: Yes, but we decided that the Rorschach ink blots took up too much space.

Q2: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?

A2: Ah, yes, the Queen of England will now rank third.

Q3: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?

A3: Exactly! But no poodle skirts, no Ken-doll boys, and Nancy Drew's dead. Otherwise, it's bang-on.

Anonymous said...

Q#2 -- Just call me Jay Kay!

-missy t from the Blueboard :)

LindaBudz said...

Q1: No, they brought in Beatrix Potter to illustrate it. Her style is perfect for this story.

Q2: Well, you know, almost as much as J.K., but with the dollar getting weaker and weaker against the pound, it's really apples to oranges. [... proceed to ramble on about the economy until the querier's eyes completely glaze over.]

Q3: Um, sorta. Except there are no girls named "George" in mine.

Disco Mermaids said...

I've gotta interject to let y'all know that I've been trying some of these in real-world situations that've arisen today.

And they're working!

They're working!!!

(So keep 'em coming.)

- Jay

Susan F said...

Q#1. Yes and I spend hours just trying to get the periods and commas perfect.

Q#2. Does a weasel whistle in a wagon?

Q#3. Actually, the series will be more like Jay Writes.

Deena said...

Fab contest! OK -- give these a shot:

Q&A #1
...
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?
A: No, but I did direct, shoot, and produce the movie! Boo yeah!

Q&A #2
...
Q: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?
A: Hells yeah -- why do you think I cast the stars of High School Musical for the movie? The nude scene of Vanessa Hutchins ALONE will pay for my French Villa.

Q&A #3
...
Q: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?
A: I'm thinking more of a threequal, since the biggest money-makers seem to roll like that: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, new Star Wars's. Or would those be threesomes, like Nancy, the blonde chick, and George? Meh, whatever.

JennaT said...

1. Yup and I wrote my own words too!

2. No, I forfeited the money for a lifetime supply of cheese.

3. Yes, if by "series" you mean a second book that has nothing to do with the first.

Dot said...

Hahahahahaha! These are great! I wasn't going to post mine because they are lame in comparison, but in the spirit of supporting Jay in his Hour of Need(tm), here's a few more:

Q&A #1
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?

Yes! I did! Stick people are very hot right now!

Q&A #2
Q: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?

More than a ton. Tons. I'll need it for when I TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Mwah-hahahahahahaha.

Q&A #3
Q: So Thirteen Reasons Why is going to be a series…like Nancy Drew?

Shhhhhhhh! How did you guess? But it's a secret—we figure the next huge market trend is girl detectives from beyond the grave. A whole new slant on paranormal, baby. But don't tell anyone!

Mary Witzl said...

Question One: Nope. But I took my own photographs. They're more graphically arresting than illustrations, and teenagers like that sort of thing.

Question Two: No, but then I find money vastly overrated.

Question Three: Sorry -- what did Nancy draw?

sruble said...

I apologize in advance for the length and content of my answer ;)

question #1
Yes, I did do my own drawings. I thought that a graphic novel about suicide for teens would be hilarious. It's sort or like the old stick figure death scenes drawings, but with more blood. Lots and lots of blood. The extra blood is because at the end of the book, a vampire shows up for dinner. (Vampire books are all the rage now, so this is how I'm going to bring in the big bucks.) The suicide ends up sustaining life (or non-life) for the vampire. It's kind of like the whole Lion King - circle of life - idea. But don't tell anyone the ending. I want it to be a surprise.

Colorado Writer said...

Q: So then you’re going to make a ton of money, too, huh?
A: I already gave it away to that twit who won the "13 Reasons Why I Want That Mermaid Money Contest."

Anonymous said...

A1: No. I'm not allowed to use sharp objects like paintbrushes. Not since the (makes finger quotes) incident with the reporter...her is that a pen you have there?

A2: A ton? No, that's wrong (starts to get agitated) my contract stipulates 5.5 tons. The average weight of an elephant. I think I better call my agent...excuse me.

A3: Yes, it is a series, what part of thirteen reasons don't you understand?

Brooke Taylor

Jodi Turchin said...

Q#2 - hold on, let me check my magic 8-ball. Hmm . . . outlook positive.

Anonymous said...

A Q#1 No I leave that to the professionals at THE STEVIE WONDER CO.

A Q2 Just as soon as I learn how to get those pesky water marks inside the paper.

A Q3 More like "The Departed"

Natalie said...

Hey, you can answer all of these questions in this handy-dandy, three-in-one answer:

Yes, there will be a series--thirteen books in all. And in keeping with the Carolyn Keene spirit, it will be a Disco Mermaids team effort. You'll never really know who writes what. We might take turns writing the remaining twelve books in the series. Or we may go back to doing Fondue Fridays, where we'll take turns writing a chapter at a time. Or a sentence. Or a word.

We do know that Eve will be doing all the art work--we figured each illustration needs a dash of hopeful, uplifting pink in suicide-themed books.

And Robin will be in charge of procuring the snacks (Butterfinger bars...can't write without 'em.)

And we plan on letting our friend Natalie manage all the money that'll be rolling in--she's got plenty of Italian connections (IF ya know what I mean), so our money will be safe with her.

Erik said...

Q: You wrote a book? Oh, what’s it about?
A: It’s a novel for teens that deals with suicide.
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?
A: Yes yes...of course. Though you'd never imagine how hard razor blades and nooses are to draw.



Q: You wrote a book? Oh, what’s it about?
A: It’s a novel for teens that deals with suicide.
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?
A: I did all my illustrations in braille for those teens who aren't fortunate enough to see.



Q: You wrote a book? Oh, what’s it about?
A: It’s a novel for teens that deals with suicide.
Q: For teens? Oh, teens are very visual. Did you do your own illustrations?
A: No. I found it much more economical to outsource them to India.


Erik

(Now give me my damn shirt and bookmark!) :-)

Disco Mermaids said...

The contest is now closed!

We're gonna try to announce the winners Sunday morning. But there are already a few entries that have us bickering as to which one is funnier. As well, there are a couple entries that have us scratching our heads...which is great, cuz our heads were itchy to begin with. So thanks!

- The DMs