I had a revelation yesterday. Actually it was forced upon me. I’m 30ish and always thought of myself as being pretty hip but apparently…wait for it…I’m not! My nephews (15 and 16) and niece (13), who are here from Vegas for Spring Break, informed me very casually, like it was no big deal. Like the joke was on me all these years.
I’m devastated. Excuse me?? When did this happen? When they were younger, I was the coolest auntie ever. I listened to rap, taught them how to surf, and bought them anything they wanted. Now, somewhere between Eminem’s rise to power and Proof’s death (rapper from D-12 who was shot last night) I became lame. Oh! And apparently “lame” isn’t a cool word anymore.
“NO one says ‘lame’,” they told me. “It’s sooo 90’s.” “Um, they say ‘lame’ on South Park all the time!” I rebutted. “HA HA HA, NO ONE watches South Park anymore either,” they said. Geez, my coolness factor is dropping by the minute.
Which brings me to my point…how can I write for teens if teens think I’m lame? Ahh, there I go again! I’ve worked with teens forever…teaching, tutoring, mentoring. I know their music, their T.V. shows, their clothes, their speech (or so I thought). I want to write funny, edgy boy books. But it’s really hard to impress the funny, edgy boys out there…unless you look like Stacy Keibler (you know, the wrestler turned “Dancing With The Stars” chick…come on people, keep up!). Problem is, I’ve been uncool since I turned 30, according to the kids. And I’m only getting older and uncooler.
Have I turned into one of those ‘older’ people who wears Juicy sweat suits a few years too long, and bumps up the 50 Cent in my SUV, thinking I’m the shiznit, while the kids are laughing at me? Now I’m terrified to show the kids my writing for fear of them telling me that it sounds like an old person trying to be cool. How do other people write for teens and get away with it?
Do I have to BE cool to write cool? Help!
Catch you later. I mean...Peace out, my peeps. I mean…goodbye. God, I’m so LAME.