Dear Fellow Disco Mermaids,
Next week I’ll be handing you the YA manuscript I’ve been working on for three years and I have a few things I’d like you to know before you start your critiques.
1. You’re both beautiful people. Inside and out. And whichever type of beauty is most important to you, that’s the type that you are.
2. You’re both wonderful writers. I’m well aware that the only reason you aren’t published yet is because you’ve been holding yourselves back for my benefit. I’ve been doing this longer than both of you and it wouldn’t be fair if you got published before me. It wouldn’t! It wouldn’t! It wouldn’t!
3. As you’re aware, this has been an emotionally draining novel to write. I’m sure putting up with me as I worked on it has been emotionally draining, as well. I pledge that once my manuscript is in the mail, I will let the two of you start talking about your own manuscripts.
4. You are very beautiful people.
5. I know the manuscript is long, but please do not write or call until you’ve completely finished it because I will read into every single word that you use.
6. You are working on manuscripts, aren’t you? How come you haven’t mentioned them the entire time I was working on mine?
Thank you. I can’t wait to hear what you think.
P.S. I know you have caller ID, so if my number pops up and you’re not done with my manuscript...don’t answer. And if you see me drive by your house over and over...shut the lights.