Saturday, April 01, 2006

An Open Letter to Robin & Eve

Dear Fellow Disco Mermaids,

Next week I’ll be handing you the YA manuscript I’ve been working on for three years and I have a few things I’d like you to know before you start your critiques.

1. You’re both beautiful people. Inside and out. And whichever type of beauty is most important to you, that’s the type that you are.

2. You’re both wonderful writers. I’m well aware that the only reason you aren’t published yet is because you’ve been holding yourselves back for my benefit. I’ve been doing this longer than both of you and it wouldn’t be fair if you got published before me. It wouldn’t! It wouldn’t! It wouldn’t!

3. As you’re aware, this has been an emotionally draining novel to write. I’m sure putting up with me as I worked on it has been emotionally draining, as well. I pledge that once my manuscript is in the mail, I will let the two of you start talking about your own manuscripts.

4. You are very beautiful people.

5. I know the manuscript is long, but please do not write or call until you’ve completely finished it because I will read into every single word that you use.

6. You are working on manuscripts, aren’t you? How come you haven’t mentioned them the entire time I was working on mine?

Thank you. I can’t wait to hear what you think.

- Jay

P.S. I know you have caller ID, so if my number pops up and you’re not done with my manuscript...don’t answer. And if you see me drive by your house over and over...shut the lights.


Disco Mermaids said...

First things first: I'm tired of working so hard to be beautiful on the inside, so I'm going to start stressing the importance of beauty on the outside. Great--now I gotta go to the gym today and get my eyebrows plucked. When I'm done with that, I'll be happy and honored to read your manuscript. Though I wasn't aware you were writing one. I thought we were talking about mine all these years.
Second: considering the length of your novel, I don't think I can handle not talking to you all that time. I can't call you!? Who will I talk to about my manuscript? That's right...Eve! Never mind. I'll be here with my caller ID on and my shades drawn. Can't wait. I know it'll be great.

Disco Mermaids said...

Yeah, it's hard being so hard that I'm not published yet because editors just can't see past my beauty and take me seriously. It's my curse. Um, what were you saying, Jay? I never got past you saying how beautiful we both are.

I know Baker's Dozen will be 'da bomb of all bombs and start the biggest bidding war on the planet...can I be in the movie?
Thanks! And CONGRATS!!