I admire people who are smart and stuff. Unfortunately, the smart gene skipped over me and graced itself on the head of every other person in my family.
My brother, a brilliant lawyer, missed one question on his SAT. I think he sneezed and the scantron misread it. My father got his Brilliant Degree from Georgia Tech and has a bit of that RainMan complex in which he can tell you the date, time and weather condition of virtually every historical event ever. My mother was named the most brilliant educator in, like, the entire state. Now she’s retired and gardens. But, oh no, she’s not just a gardener. The state of Georgia has named her a “Master Gardener.”
Good grief, people.
So what’s my contribution? What is it that I do with my medium brain?
I put words together on paper with the hopes of making 12-year olds giggle.
My big-brained family is an understanding group, though. They often come over to me, pat me on my smallish head and say, “There, there. There, there.”
I also admire smart people who quote from famous literary works. My mouth drops whenever I hear someone quote Shakespeare or Thoreau or Dickinson.
Personally, I like to quote from Stouffer: “Cut a slit in the wrapper and microwave for 5 minutes on HIGH.”
My other source of quotes is one that my medium-sized brain can truly understand…cheesy movies. And with that, I give you my list of top movie quotes that I often incorporate into my every day language. (Yes, my language is stilted and trashy.)
And since this has been a week full of contests, I challenge you to guess which movies these classic lines come from. (If you guess one correctly, you get a lollipop from me…at next year’s conference! Oh, come on, it’s worth the wait!)
Some quotes are from the same movie, but they’re just that meaningful!
1. “I was born a poor, black child.” (Osceola, you should get that one!)
2. “Anywhere between the thimble and the box of matches.”
3. “And over there’s the divan, for socializing and whatnot.”
4. “What’s your victor, Vector?”
5. “We’re the Judea’s People’s Front. We’re the People’s Front of Judea!” (Don’t ask me how I use that in every day conversation.)
6. “It goes to eleven…” (Too easy, huh?)
7. “Can I borrow your panties, for like, five minutes?”
8. “Grandparents forgetting a birthday…they live for that sh*#!”
9. “You want, like, ten thousand of his babies.”
10. and finally…”Did you have brain tumor for breakfast!?”
Did anyone get any of those? “Anyone, anyone…” (See how this works!?)
If you have any to add to these ten, please educate my medium brain. (Though it actually only goes to 20.)