Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A Shout Out to All the Medium Brains—Robin

I admire people who are smart and stuff. Unfortunately, the smart gene skipped over me and graced itself on the head of every other person in my family.

My brother, a brilliant lawyer, missed one question on his SAT. I think he sneezed and the scantron misread it. My father got his Brilliant Degree from Georgia Tech and has a bit of that RainMan complex in which he can tell you the date, time and weather condition of virtually every historical event ever. My mother was named the most brilliant educator in, like, the entire state. Now she’s retired and gardens. But, oh no, she’s not just a gardener. The state of Georgia has named her a “Master Gardener.”
Good grief, people.

So what’s my contribution? What is it that I do with my medium brain?
I put words together on paper with the hopes of making 12-year olds giggle.

My big-brained family is an understanding group, though. They often come over to me, pat me on my smallish head and say, “There, there. There, there.”

I also admire smart people who quote from famous literary works. My mouth drops whenever I hear someone quote Shakespeare or Thoreau or Dickinson.
Personally, I like to quote from Stouffer: “Cut a slit in the wrapper and microwave for 5 minutes on HIGH.”

My other source of quotes is one that my medium-sized brain can truly understand…cheesy movies. And with that, I give you my list of top movie quotes that I often incorporate into my every day language. (Yes, my language is stilted and trashy.)
And since this has been a week full of contests, I challenge you to guess which movies these classic lines come from. (If you guess one correctly, you get a lollipop from me…at next year’s conference! Oh, come on, it’s worth the wait!)

Some quotes are from the same movie, but they’re just that meaningful!

1. “I was born a poor, black child.” (Osceola, you should get that one!)
2. “Anywhere between the thimble and the box of matches.”
3. “And over there’s the divan, for socializing and whatnot.”
4. “What’s your victor, Vector?”
5. “We’re the Judea’s People’s Front. We’re the People’s Front of Judea!” (Don’t ask me how I use that in every day conversation.)
6. “It goes to eleven…” (Too easy, huh?)
7. “Can I borrow your panties, for like, five minutes?”
8. “Grandparents forgetting a birthday…they live for that sh*#!”
9. “You want, like, ten thousand of his babies.”
10. and finally…”Did you have brain tumor for breakfast!?”
Did anyone get any of those? “Anyone, anyone…” (See how this works!?)
If you have any to add to these ten, please educate my medium brain. (Though it actually only goes to 20.)

--Robin

20 comments:

Jude said...

Actually, it's "What's your vector, Victor?" A good thing to do if you're feeling a little down is to check the memorable quotes at the imdb.com for Airplane or another funny movie or t.v. show, such as Gilmore Girls. But then, of course, you're inspired to spend another chunk of your life *re-watching* Airplane so you can see Robert Hays deal with his "drinking problem." I, too, am the stupid member of *my* family.

Disco Mermaids said...

(the following are the internal thoughts of Disco Mermaid Jay)

Hmm...

I only got two of the ten movie quotes and I watch just as many cheesy movies as Robin.

I always had a feeling Robin was quite a bit smarter than me.

She's often patting my head and saying, "There, there. There, there."

Is the whole point of this post a sly way for Robin to tell me something?


(and now for the external thoughts)

HA! This post is hilarious, Robin. I knew all ten of the movie lines...just so you know.

- Jay

Disco Mermaids said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Disco Mermaids said...

I knew I'd get some corrections! For some reason, I've always said that quote backwards. It just sounds funnier to me. Not that Airplane could be any funnier.

And, yes, Jay, I am smarter than you, and taller than you, and doggone it, people like me! (I did it again!)

-Robin

Disco Mermaids said...

All I gotta say is, "HA!"

And I'll add:

"You're so money, you don't even know it."

"Yeah, and 'Baby Fishmouth' is sweeping the nation."

"You'll shoot your eye out, kid."

Eve

Jen Robinson said...

I think that 7 and 8 are from the same movie (I hesitate to name it, because I don't want to spoil the fun for anyone else), but I don't know any of the others. 9 seems familiar, too, but I'm not sure...

Nancy said...

Ooh, I thought I'd know them all, but I only know 1, 2, 7, 8, 9 and the last two from Eve.

How about...

Anybody want a peanut?

It's not the years honey, it's the mileage.

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Steph said...

I definitely know # 1..it's just about my favorite movie ever! "waiter, there are snails on her plate!"

I also know 5 and 6- wait is this really one of those tests to see what sort of personality defect you may have? hmmmm...

Disco Mermaids said...

Hey, Steph! (Our new central coast friend!) I'm so glad you know #1 because it's a requirement in any friendship I have that they also must love that movie.

Nancy, you HAVE to tell me where your third one is from. It's on the tip of my tongue! Aaaagghh!
-Robin

harried mom said...

The speaker of #1 (one of my favorites, too) may be found singing at the Tut exhibit. "King Tut...he's so funky!" Or perhaps he's still lounging with Claire Danes in "Shopgirl."

There's only one thing more to say about movie quotes: "Plastics."

Anonymous said...

Anyone that writes as beautifully as you is more than brilliant, deeply gifted is more your category. I didn't get any of the quotes; however, here's one my favorite: "You had me at hello."
carolyn

Disco Mermaids said...

Okay, so that was my Mom. Just so no one thinks that was weird.
(I didn't!)
Love you, man!
-Robin

Paige Keiser said...

Anyone can learn a bunch of facts and be called smart - just study hard. Though bringing a story to life with writing is something only a few can do. That's true talent.

;-)

rita said...

“I was born a poor, black child" comes up often in our household, too!

So does, "No more of this old stuff! Bring us some fresh wine!"

And "And that's all I need! Except this . . . "

Oh, man. Now I can't stop.

("You hate these cans!")

("Then the second day seemed like five days. ")

:D HA!
r

(I've bastardized some of these, I'm know!)

Disco Mermaids said...

Oh my God, Rita, I think we're living in the same household.
"We could take this wall down, and create a flow..."
Stop me!
:-)Robin

Disco Mermaids said...

“Goonies never say die!” Okay, that one’s a gimme, but it’s one of my faves.

“Let’s see if you bastards can do 90!”

“How did you do that? / Don’t know. First time.”

“Wolfman’s got nards!”

Oh, and I need to add one of Robin’s NEW favorite lines. She finally watched 40 Year Old Virgin last night and has already worked “You know how I know you’re gay?” into a conversation.

- Jay

Jennifer Armstrong said...

My favorite movie line of all time (from my all-time favorite movie) is

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

Some people think it's a cheesy movie but I think it's brilliant.

Nancy said...

Robin, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai...

... which I now own on DVD and have watched twice since buying it and love every bit as much now as I did when it first came out.

MotherReader said...

I know 1, 5, 6, 7, & 8.

The one I use all the time is short, but sweet:

All right, important safety tip.

harried mom said...

Jennifer Armstrong, Thanks a lot for the reminder of that line. We're going to the beach tomorrow and now I'll be jumpy at the least little piece of seaweed.

Spielberg films are never cheesy. Mostly brilliant!