Go to Bed! -- Jay

I’m a fiddler.

No, you won’t find me balancing on a rooftop, silhouetted by moonlight, playing an instrument with a bow. But for the past couple weeks, I could easily be found on most nights hunched over my desk, glowing in the light of my monitor, endlessly tweaking my Powerpoint presentation.

On Saturday, I’ll be giving a workshop at the national SCBWI conference titled No Bookmarks Allowed: How to Inject Suspense into any Novel. And basically, I’m nervous as hell with a little bit of heck thrown in, too. I know I’ll be fine once I begin talking and there’s no turning back. But until that time comes, I haven’t been able to think about anything but my workshop.

Sometimes I’ll think about creative ways to improve it. But usually I’m just thinking of ways I might potentially blow it.

Also, I’ve been kind of cranky lately. (Shut up! At least I admit it! What’s your excuse!?!?) I’m not normally a cranky person, but I get that way when I don’t sleep. And when there’s a speech coming up that I’m nervous about, I just do not sleep much. I always think there’s a more creative way to get a point across and that I’ll find that creative way if I just stay up and stare at my monitor for another 15 minutes.

Of course, that doesn’t usually work. But I still try!

The past few days, friends have been e-mailing or texting me around midnight. Most of the messages consist of nothing more than Go To Bed. And even though they’re right…boy, that sure makes me even crankier!

What I’m getting at is, I’m actually kind of excited about my presentation. All of those extra 15 minutes (which usually piled on multiple times within the same night) might have paid off this time. But I'm afraid that for the first day-and-a-half of the four-day conference my mind will be distracted. So consider this an apology-in-advance to any of you who might run into Cranky Jay this weekend. I promise, once my workshop is over…it’s party time!

- Jay

Red - Set - Go!

Only a few more days till we head down to the national SCBWI conference in Los Angeles. For those who don't know, this is a conference for only the most serious writers and illustrators of children's books. It's a chance to learn from one another, to network, to...

Y'know what? There's no sense in lying. The Disco Mermaids go, year after year after year after year, to have fun! And the height of that fun is reached Saturday night during the afterhours theme party. This year's theme is Paint the Town Red. So here's a li'l behind-the-scenes scoop on how we're planning to make fools of ourselves this year:

Here's Robin adjusting the color of her footwear:

Here's Jay researching "moves" on YouTube:

And here's Eve making sure...um...making sure her costume smells good:

Fondue Friday #4 - One Week and Counting...

Fondue Fridays

- where everyone dips in, and everything comes up cheesy -
- - -

Every year, we have a blast at the SCBWI National Conference in Los Angeles. But every year is a totally different experience. Recently, the three of us got together, placed a laptop on a Lazy-Susan, and discussed our thoughts and hopes for the next conference…which begins one week from today.

- - -

Jay: Okay, who wants to go first?
Robin: Well, you just did.
Jay: Okay, then who wants to go sec--…I mean…third?
Eve: I’ll go…wait, what are we talking about?
Robin: I think this is the last time we’re going to do this.
Jay: Robin’s in a bad mood cuz she had to put off her hair appointment. Nice hat, by the way.
Robin: I like to call it Redneck Chic. Let’s move on.
Eve: I love the hat! And, Jay…you’re wearing a hat too. Speaking of hats, what are you guys most excited about doing at the conference?
Jay: Just for your info, dear readers, Robin’s hat says Pheasants Forever. I think it’s from back home in Georgia.
Robin: Pheasants are forever. Now let’s move on. I’m looking forward to so many of the speakers, including the amazing Jay Asher who had better lose his hat by then…and his attitude.
Jay: It’s a Penguin hat. I’m just trying to represent!
Eve: Pheasants. Penguins. Who cares? I’m excited to meet blog readers like Suzanne Young and Laura Ludwig Hamor, who I’ve only met cyber-ly! And Christy Raedeke, who I only got to hang with a little bit in Big Sur.
Robin: Yes! And Rachel Cohn and David LaRochelle and…and…oh, who am I kidding…I can’t wait to get soy lattes all day long from the Starbucks in the lobby!
Eve: OMG! I was just going to say the same thing! Except my drink of choice is a café mocha. We are the same person, Robin!
Jay: You definitely are. Each year at the conference…each and every morning!…I’m told to get up early, go downstairs, and bring back your coffees while you “put your faces on.”
Robin: Thanks, Jay. Extra hot…don’t forget! Hopefully we’ll make it down in time for the faculty parade, where each faculty member says one inspired word into the microphone. Do you want to give our readers a hint as to what your word will be, Jay?
Eve: Ooh! Do not say something generic like creative or imagine. You should say…
Robin: Wait, you didn’t tell Eve yet?
Jay: No, back when I came up with it, it would’ve just frustrated her. But I think she’d like it now.
Eve: Wait, I know! Your word is…wait, why would it frustrate me? Is it menopause???
Robin: You’re right. It would’ve frustrated her.
Eve: What IS it? Loser? Cellulite? Dumb blond? No, that’s two words.
Jay: Come here, I’ll whisper it to you. [Jay whispers his word.]
Eve: Oh! NEVER would have guessed that one! Funny. Yes, maybe it would have frustrated me a few months back. But not now. Thanks for telling me!
Jay: Okay, Robin, what year did you first attend the conference?
Robin: My first year was 2003. The theme was the Mad Hatter Tea Party or something. I drove down by myself for one day and ended up crashing in Eve’s room that night. I remember thinking…I could make a habit out of this.
Eve: That’s right! We all hardly knew each other then. I remember sitting in my room with Jay chatting about how much I loved his new project, and insisting that he keep working on it. Back then it was a little thing called, Baker’s Dozen. Most of you now know it as Thirteen Reasons Why!
Jay: I remember that conversation so well! When you told me you loved my book, I remember thinking, “I think we could become really good friends.”
Robin: Awww. This is getting so cute. Let’s do more cute! When was your first year, Jay? What was that like?
Jay: 2000 was my first year…and it wasn’t so cute at first. I knew absolutely no one and I was so shy back then. But I ended up befriending Kathleen Duey, and she introduced me to so many cool people. By the end of the conference, I was more determined than ever to stick with this. And then, Eve, I think you came to the conference two years later, but we never even talked.
Eve: Yes, 2002 was my first. I had just moved to Cali, knew no one at the conference, but met a fabulous group of girls the first day--April Fritz, Kelly DiPucchio, Hope Vestergaard, Alice Pope, Lisa Wheeler--and they made me feel right at home. I do remember seeing a strange guy sitting all alone at the Saturday night luau dressed like the Hawaiian Punch logo-guy and playing a ukulele!
Jay: Yep. That was embarrassing…cuz NO ONE ELSE DRESSED UP THAT YEAR!!!
Robin: But this year, things will be much different!
Eve: Yes, because it’s not a luau, so you won’t need that ukulele. Don’t bring it. No, seriously. Don’t.
Robin: Right! This year will be very different. Jay’s book is out and he’s on the faculty and he’s going to be the hit of the conference. For me it’ll be different because…oh, wait…it won’t be different at all. Except we’ll be dressed in red!!!
Jay: Hey, Robin. I’m actually starting to like your Pheasants Forever hat. You look good in it.
Eve: Leave her hat alone!
Jay: No, I’m serious. I like it!
Robin: For real ya’ll, pheasants are forever.
Eve: Oh! Oh! I know! Your one word should be I’maNewYorkTimesBestsellingAuthorLookAtMeLookAtMe.
Robin: Or how about EveAndRobinWillBePublishedSoon.
Eve: Oh, oh, or MillionDollarContractsMovieDealsAndTheWholeShabangForBothOfYou.
Robin: Or ILoveEveAndRobinMoreThanLifeItself.
Eve: IWouldBeNothingWithoutThem.
Jay: [walks away]
Robin: Jay! We’re sorry.
Jay: I’m just getting more coffee.
Eve: Maybe his one word should just be creative.
Robin: Yeah. Creative. That’s good!

Magna Carta -- Eve

As I’m furiously completing this draft of my YA masterpiece, I’m constantly checking in with my novel and screenwriting reference books to make sure that I’m staying on track, avoiding common amateur mistakes, and following three-act structure, plot, and character rules.

One of these “how to write” books had a great exercise for keeping an author focused on his/her overall goals for the novel. I cannot remember which book suggested this piece of advice, but it is brilliant.

Create your own Magna Carta.

Your own personal Magna Carta is simply an honest list of things you like and dislike when reading stories. That’s it!

My Magna Carta:

LIKES
First-person point of view
Simple writing
Intense love stories
Humor (even intense dramas must have some)
Realistic characters, plot, setting, dialogue
Likeable characters
Makes me laugh and/or cry
Suspense
Surprise or twist endings
Multicultural (to me this means using characters from a variety of backgrounds; rich, poor, different customs, be liefs, religions, philosophies)

DISLIKES
Third-person POV
Pretentious writing or characters
Verbose writing or overuse of fancy words
Overly quirky characters
Unrealistic characters
Characters who speak too young/old for their ages
Mean-spirited or selfish protagonists
Slow/quiet
Overly depressing, disturbing, no comic relief, no hope (see: House of Sand and Fog, The Road)
Fancy, rich-people settings
Lame endings (out of the blue or abrupt)
Contrived Multicultural (Specifically, the use of token characters with pigment, trying to pass as “multicultural” writing. Drives me crazy! “Culture” implies a way of life, NOT a shade of pigment. Stepping down off soapbox now…)

For me the exercise is so simple, yet so useful. It’s a constant reminder of what I want (and do not want) to accomplish in telling a story. If I can just stick all the things I love to see in novels into my own novel, then I’ll be satisfied as an artist. Easier said than done, of course!

8 days to go until I hit my deadline. I just hope I’m doing my Magna Carta proud!

- Eve

Rehearsin' for SCBWI in L.A.

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We've definitely got the moves. Now all we've gotta do is get our costumes ready for the afterhours party.

This year's theme? Paint the Town Red.

Bring it!

To My Dear Friends... -- Robin

Since Jay and Eve are busy reading my manuscript, they don’t have time for blogging right now. So you get me…again!

This time I need some advice. (Jay and Eve aren’t even able to provide basic friendship needs! But that’s okay. I asked them to read my book and ignore my
calls. They’re taking this very seriously!)

Question #1: My husband is leaving to go do some workin South America. Which means I’ll be doing the single-mom thing for a while. Waaaahhh! But now I can’t decide how to spend my time while he’s gone. Should I a) rearrange the furniture; b) scrub the bathrooms; or c) get a babysitter and go see a movie?

Question #2: If I was to get a babysitter and go see a movie, should I go see that Mamma Mia! movie? Or is that Batman movie as good as everyone says?

Question #3: I’ll change the subject now…my 6-year old son has become totally obsessed with Hannah Montana. Is this normal? Or am I a bad mother?

Question #4: Seriously…Mamma Mia! or The Dark Knight?

- Robin

Putting the Pen Down -- Robin

I have finally put down my red Uni-Ball Vision Elite pen because I'm done with my revisions. Woo-hoo!!! And we all know what that means…my son gets to eat fresh vegetables again! No more pizza and tofu dogs on a regular basis. At least, for a little while.

I have now passed my manuscript on to Jay and Eve so they can work their magic and make my somewhat decent story into an awesome story. They’re the best, I’m tellin’ ya!

I started on this manuscript almost two years ago when I attended a humor workshop put on by the lovely Mary Hershey. During that workshop, we did a writing exercise and I came up with a character, Carly, who is from The South and has an obsession with hair products. (Hmmm…wonder who's eerily similar to that description…)

Anyway, I wrote about me...I mean, Carly...and got a few chapters in when I realized that she had absolutely no story to go along with her. And for many months, I couldn’t come up with anything. But then, I had one of those flashes, the kind that hit you quickly and you stop what you’re doing and just stare for a while. It happened to me at 7 a.m. when I was in the middle of putting a load of whites into the dryer. I just stared at the dial and thought…Wow, I might be on to something here!

And now, 18 months later, I’ve finally put the finishing touches on that little idea I had while cleaning socks and underwear. What’s it about? Well...um…let’s see. It’s about a girl who discovers this thing that does this stuff and her mom tells her all this other stuff and she can’t figure out what to do with the stuff and the thing that her mom told her about...and stuff.

Yeah, I’m bad at summaries. In fact, when I first pitched this idea to my agent, it took me about half an hour to describe what I wanted to do. She was so wonderful and patient and didn’t even take a bathroom break during my long rambling attempt at a summary. Love her!

So that’s what Jay and Eve are for. Their job is to not only make the book rock, but to help me figure out how to summarize 175 pages of stuff into about 3 sentences. Until then, what I can tell you is the title: THE HAPPINESS PROJECT.

And when I handed copies over to Jay and Eve, I even gave them a girl and a boy version.


Can you guess which Mermaid’s which?

- Robin

18 Days...Si Se Puede! -- Eve

Yes, it can be done.

After briefly chatting with Suzanne Young the other day via email about her numerous books, and the fact that she can crank out a first draft in 4 days (yes, I said 4 days!) I felt motivated. And, admittedly, slothful, lame and inadequate. But mostly motivated. Makes my 18-day deadline seem quite silly...and attainable!

Turns out my procrastination tactics have all been thwarted by a minor injury I had last week. Running...not allowed. Hot tub...can't get wet. Sleep...hurts too much. Softball...not gonna happen.   All I can humanly do is sit and write. The situation over the last few days has taught me that I really can keep my butt in the chair and write a crap-load of words. I mean, a lot of words. And all strung together they even seem to make some sort of sense! At this rate I really think, for the first time this month, that I'll meet my crazy deadline.

Special thanks to my new writing coach, Eric Elfman, who cracked the whip, Agent Laura for her everlasting patience, Greg "H" Guss, fellow Bruin who emails me motivational messages like, "Hey, I just wrote 10 pages during the America's Got Talent commercial break...what have you done?" and, of course, Robin and Jay for...um...generously bringing me all those buckets of Australian Kookubura Licorice (the red kind) from Trader Joe's and a keg of Diet Coke...I'm thanking you in advance because I know you two are going to show up any day bearing inspirational gifts. I'm waiting by the door...

Si Se Puede!

- Eve

Bonus Scenes -- Jay

There are several questions I get asked about Thirteen Reasons Why almost every time I do a school visit or book club event. One question concerns the characters (other than Clay) mentioned on Hannah's cassette tapes. They want to know how those people reacted to being singled out as reasons for her suicide. How did it affect them?

My answer? I have no idea.

Once I recorded...I mean, wrote...Hannah's words, and conveyed Clay's reactions, my contribution to the story was finished. Whatever happens outside of those 288 printed pages (or 5 compact discs) is entirely up to each reader.

But I won't disagree with the following two-part student project. In fact, I absolutely love their ideas...as well as how they're presented. If you haven't already read the book, don't be afraid to watch. Nothing will be spoiled for you. The only scene I wrote is at the beginning, when Clay first receives the package of tapes.

Everything else is brand new...and brilliant!

Part 1



Part 2

- Jay


P.S. Did you notice my book made two cameos? That is so cool!

Aaaaaaand...She's Off!!! -- Jay

I never tire of hearing a good "How I Got Published" story. Before I sold my book, I took comfort in the often unpredictable ups-and-downs of other writers. Many of them struggle for years, searching for their perfect age-group or genre or writing style. And when they find it, it often takes years to find the perfect story within that bracket. And when they find that story, they then need to write that story and find an editor who can convince a publisher to buy it...which can add even more years to an author's personal journey.

This post is not about one of those journeys.

But first, I need you to think back. If you're a writer, think back a year-and-a-half. What were you working on back then? Eighteen months ago, I’d just finished editing Thirteen Reasons Why for Razorbill. I was still on Cloud 9, feeling that my thirteen years of slowly learning the craft had finally paid off.

What was my friend and fellow-blogger Suzanne Young doing a year-and-a-half ago? She had just decided to become a writer, so began working on her very first novel. (Please, dear reader, now would be a good time to find a chair...and sit in it.) In the ensuing eighteen months, Suzanne wrote a total of nine young adult manuscripts. That's right…nine YA manuscripts...eighteen months! (Warning: Do not attempt the math because the answer will make your brain go kablooey.) Were all of those manuscripts brilliant? Probably not...at least, it makes me feel better to assume they weren't. But a mere nine months after beginning her writing journey, she signed with a literary agent.

Several months went by, and I received a very nice e-mail from Suzanne about Thirteen Reasons Why. We did a little shop-talk and it became clear that she was not in the best author/agent relationship. So she parted ways with her agent and did some submitting on her own, getting extremely positive feedback from editors. And then, after stumbling across her blog, another literary agent contacted her. This new agent was extremely excited about Suzanne and was soon submitting her novel Smitten Kittens.

Within a matter of weeks, three publishing houses were fighting over Suzanne. This past Monday, she signed a two-book deal with Razorbill.

What I'm saying is, Suzanne's learning curve looks more like a ninety-degree-angle!

So how did she do it? I have many theories, but they mainly come down to this: It's internal. She just gets it! When it comes to characters, emotional tension, how to time a joke, and pitch-perfect dialogue, she knows how to get the idea out of her head and onto her computer in one clean sweep. Her writing process is a lot like an improv comedian. What comes out simply works.

But it can be frustrating, too. Several times, she would send me an opening chapter to a new book and ask me if it was any good. I would start to read it, laughing out loud, and another e-mail would pop up asking me to stop reading because she'd just rewritten that chapter. Not edited it. Rewritten it! New actions. New dialogue. New jokes. So I would start reading the new version, and another e-mail would pop up with the subject line Stop Reading!

And in the time it took me to write and edit this post, Suzanne probably wrote three chapters in her second book for Razorbill...and rewrote each chapter three or four times.

Congratulations, Suzanne! Eve, Robin, and I are doing the Book Deal Dance in solidarity with ya!!!

- Jay


To read more about Suzanne, here are some more links. (Notice how many blogs she contributes to. She just can't stop those fingers from typing!)

Yapping About YA

Lipgloss Lit

2010: A Book Odyssey

Yes, A Post About Pens -- Robin

I figured I could post about the state of our economy or the massive job layoffs across the country or the outrageous gas prices, but really, I’m more concerned about pens.

Since I’m in the middle of revising my middle grade novel, and since I’m the type of person who revises using the mark-the-paper-like-mad-with-red-pen method, I am very particular about my red pens. Very particular.

It can’t be felt or ballpoint or fiber or gel. And especially not quill. That’s just weird. I like my pens to be, oh…how do you say…the kind that move. You know, the ones that just glide across the page without any effort and spit out just the right amount of ink that is very visible, not too faint, and not too bold. Yeah, see, I had just that pen. Had! And I made it through almost fifty pages of revisions with such a pen. Then it up and left the planet. I can’t find it anywhere!!!

However, a new pen has come into my life. You see, my husband and I decided to take out a home equity line of credit [see opening sentence] and when the lady came to our house to have us sign the documents, she said, “Sign here…and here…and here…” Which I did, and then I realized that she had handed me the most wonderful, gliding, graceful pen on the planet! (Other than the one I lost.) I asked her where she got it and she told me Costco and then she snatched it from my hand.

So now that we have all this extra money available due to our new home equity line of credit, I went out and bought a value pack of 16 Uni-Ball Vision Elite pens. Twelve of which are black, three are blue, and one is red.

One.

Which means I’d better not lose this pen, too. Otherwise, I will be posting about the state of our economy and complaining about the lack of good red pens in this country!

-Robin

The Dark Side -- Eve

I have 27 days and 27 nights left until my self-imposed deadline for completing my YA novel is upon me! The lack of hours isn't what's scaring me, though. It's the fact that my once sweet, simple love story has drifted over to the dark side and become something I hadn't seen coming. Which is ironic because the book's main theme is facing our fear of the unknown. And I've got some serious Unknown-O-Phobia right now. Isn't that like art imitating life imitating art or something? I don't know. Maybe I've been chewing on too many licorice sticks.

All I know is that these new ideas are popping out of my head and shooting through my fingers into the keyboard and splattering onto the computer screen and creating a story that is very different from the one that is so neatly outlined on my giant dry erase board. The story now has more tension, more adventure, more stakes, and more...well, um...freaky stuff. But, see, this didn't start out as a freaky story. And I didn't think I had it in me to write freaky stuff. Don't get me wrong...it's not like Saw or Halloween or The Strangers freaky stuff. It's more like "M. Night Shyamalan / I see dead people" weird stuff. And that kind of story excites me and creeps me out at the same time.

My dilemma now is...Do I continue on this Stephen King route? Or do I delete everything I've written in the last 48 diet coke-intoxicated hours and return to my Nicholas Sparks roots? It's a tough one. Sweet and simple? Or tense and freaky? Light and breezy? Doomed and dark? I'd like to think of myself as a pretty light and silly person. But, in truth, I tend to be drawn to darker books. For some reason, darker and more serious books make me think harder and stay with me longer than lighthearted books.

Of course, when I sprung these new ideas on my critique group partners yesterday, I think they were a little perplexed. The consensus was that while the new tone and plot points are certainly riveting, they don't fit with the original vision of the book. My problem is that the original vision was feeling a bit boring and stale to me, and the shake up injected new life into the story. And it's exciting to think of this novel as a new, never been done before, strange, but compelling (in a train wreck kind of way) project.

The artist in me tells me to take a risk and blow it out and go with the freaky-deaky flow. But the practical side of me tells me to keep it simple, stick to the vision and finish the sappy love story. Not sure. Maybe filling my body with more guar gum, red dye and artificial carmel coloring will give me some clarity.

- Eve

ALA-kazam! -- Jay

During my three days at the American Library Association conference in Anaheim this past weekend, I averaged four hours of sleep per night. So if you find any grammatical errors in this post, here's what you should do...

Get. Over. It.

On Friday night, Penguin Young Readers held a fancy schmancy dinner for librarians, educators, and award committee members. At each table sat an author. One at a time, each author spoke about his or her latest book. I happened to bring up the fact...a few times...that I work at a library, which had the same effect as a neon Applause sign hanging over my head. (So that was nice.) Afterwards, a bunch of Penguins marched to a nightspot to continue the chit-chatting, including Ingrid Law, Jon Scieszka, Jacqueline Woodson, John Green, and myself.


The next morning, I headed out to the exhibition room and stood in the presence of as many famous authors as I could. The biggie for me was Laurie Halse Anderson. And when her hand touched my chest while posing for a photo, I swear I felt some superauthor force pass into me.


That afternoon, Feiwel & Friends hosted a bunch o' bloggers in a suite (sweet!), where I got to hang out with the bloggers behind Fuse #8, Jen Robinson's Book Page, and GottaBook.


That night...Disneyland! Followed by IHOP shenanigans and a brief visit to my bed.

Early the next morning, it was time for speed-dating with children's authors! A whole bunch of us marched into a room where about 30 tables were stocked with around eight librarians each. I began my journey (totally by coincidence) at table 13. I talked about my book, answered questions, then moved to a new table whenever the whistle blew. So fun! Afterwards, all of the authors gathered for a group photo. What you can't see is the wall of camera-packin' librarians in front of us.


From there, I went to my first of two autographing sessions. And let me take this moment to say that the behind-the-scenes Penguins who made my first ALA experience so wonderful are some of the coolest (and cutest!) people in the biz. [I know Robin and Eve are gonna tell me to take down the "cutest!" comment, but it's true...and I'm tired, so No.]


And Terry Trueman stopped by. Terry! Trueman!


I don't have any photos from the Best Books for Young Adults pizza party, but John Green, Nancy Werlin, Steve Kluger, and I joined a bunch of teens for hotdogs and hamburgers. (Just kidding! It was pizza. But I'm really tired, so you have to forgive the lame joke.)

When I first walked in, a group of four girls walked up to me and were kind of shy. Eventually, one of them found the courage to say, "I just wanted you to know that I loved Looking for Alaska." And then her friends started busting up and told her that I wasn't John Green. (But don't feel bad for me...she liked my book, too!) Unfortunately for John Green, I pointed him out to the girls and we played a little prank on him. They told him they were big fans of his...and that they loved Thirteen Reasons Why.

Then I signed books for another hour at the Baker & Taylor booth...with Lisa Loeb!!! No, seriously! Look!!!


Near the end, I had a wonderful discussion with my publisher, Ben Schrank, outside of the exhibition area. Over my fourth- or fifth-cup of coffee of the day, we talked about the future of Thirteen Reasons Why and my future dreams as an author. We talked about taking chances. And we talked about... Forget it, I'm tired, and I still have two pictures to go.

No ALA is complete without a little competition between gangs of librarians. Have you ever seen your neighborhood librarians perform a choreographed dance with bookcarts to the music of Weird Science or Thriller? It's truly one of the weirdest things you'll ever see in your life...


Okay, goodnight.

- Jay