(my mom - me - my wife)
The Stand-Up DISCOmedy Show
I wrote a good portion of 13 Reasons Why while sipping coffee at Linnaea’s Café. It’s our town’s artsy-vibe coffee shop. A few scenes in my book are even set there. So that’s where we celebrated the sale of my first book.
The turn-out was awesome. Every time a new person arrived, my arms uncontrollably flew open...I just couldn’t stop the huggin’. The librarian delegation was in full-force, as was the local children’s lit. community (including Elizabeth Spurr, Stephanie Roth, and Emily Jiang--last year’s SCBWI Sue Alexander Award Winner!). For me, a highlight was having my college Children's Lit. Appreciation teacher in attendance...the whole reason I got into this mess to begin with.
The first thing I planned to do when I stepped on stage was to eloquently announce that my first book would be dedicated to my wife. But it was hard to speak eloquently with a clenched throat and tears warping my vision (thankfully, no one called me a wussy). Then my wife, my mom, and I did a full-cast reading of the first 13 pages. My critique group, S.L.O.W. for Children (San Luis Obispo Writers for Children), presented me with an amazing set of bookends adorned with--what else--mermaids. Robin and Eve jumped on stage and had everyone busting up with their hilarious list titled 13 Reasons Why 13 Reasons Why will be an Award-Winning Bestseller. Then came even more tears (I was so dehydrated by the time this thing was over) as I thanked those in attendance that will be featured on my acknowledgements page (followed later in the evening by more tears when I realized I forgot to mention my mom, my dad, and my brother...D’oh!).
Of course, there won’t be any more First Book parties for me. But I’m sure the Disco Mermaids, as a group, will be throwing a couple more in the very near future.
13 Reasons Why 13 Reasons Why will be an Award-Winning Bestseller
1. The voice in this book is so authentic. Probably because Jay himself was a depressed teenage girl growing up.
2. Eve and Robin have already signed on to star in the movie!
3. Jay got such a big advance, he could use all that money to buy bunches of copies to ensure that it will be on the bestseller list.
4. In the movie, Robin is going to play the role of the sweet, loving middle aged high school counselor. Eve will play the part of 17-year old Hannah!
5. In the book there is a beautiful poem written by his wife. And there’s an actual recording of the poem as a song...sung by his wife, not by Jay!
6. In the movie, the role of Clay will be played by Colin Ferrell and he and Eve will have a big make-out scene. Only they’ll have to shoot the scene again and again to get it just right.
7. Jay wrote almost the entire book at a coffee shop…at THIS coffee shop, Linnaea’s, not at a Starbucks!
8. So, in the movie when Colin Ferrell and Eve make out, the film will get stolen and end up on the internet and then later in video stores for only $49.99! (But Jay will get 15%)
9. Jay worked so hard on this book, he stayed up late many nights revising and pulling his hair out!
10. In the movie, the ending will be changed from the book’s ending and Eve will walk up in a gorgeous Armani dress (couture, of course) and Colin Ferrell will burst into the room and Eve will say, “You had me at ‘hello.’” And Colin will say, “I wish I knew how to quit you!” And then there will be a huge explosion and Robin will run in and say, “Run, Forest, run!”
11. This book had better be a bestseller, that way Jay can justify all his time spent lurking in the teen section at Barnes & Noble doing “research.”
12. When Roger Ebert reviews the movie, he’ll say: “The plot? Stunning! The emotion? Stunning! The ending? Stunning! Eve Porinchak as 17-year old Hannah? Not so stunning.
13. And the 13th reason why 13 Reasons Why will be a bestseller…It’s Awesome!! (woo-hoo!)