WARNING: While respecting artistic license in creative nonfiction is important, the following post may go too far. Eve tends to do that sometimes. So, in an attempt to avoid offending anyone or becoming "Frey-ed" for embellishing, I offer this disclaimer: This story is totally and completely TRUE up to the point where the Pretty Red-haired Gal walks up and says, "Um, hi." The rest is embellished and made up for the purpose of making fun of Eve and Jay and the fact that they are celebrities in their own minds. Read at your own risk. (The writer who approached Eve and Jay is a lovely and talented woman who was a joy to meet and chat with. She was not really starstruck, nor is she married to Colin Ferrell. Eve tends to include Colin Ferrell in all her stories for some reason.)
Last night while Jay and I clacked away at our computers at our little table by the window in Linnaea’s…our local downtown coffee haunt where we write all our books…a celebrity was spotted! Actually, two celebs. No, three. At our very own Linnaea’s!
After several silent hours of intense mind spinning and typing (Jay’s deadline for his first edits of 13 REASONS WHY is in one week!) our eerily quiet writing session was pleasantly interrupted by a pretty, young, red-haired gal who I had previously noticed cruising by a few times.
She slowly approached us and said, “Um, hi. Are you, by chance…well, are you the writer, Jay Asher?”
JAY (in a slow, deep voice several octaves lower than his usual one): Why, yes. Yes I am.
PRG (Pretty Red-Haired Gal): You’re in the Class of 2K7! I’m in the Class of 2K7!! I’ve read all about you. And your struggles, and your agent, and your auction. I’m Autumn Cornwell. I live in L.A. and I have a book coming out, too.
JAY: Of course I’ll sign an autograph. My book isn’t out yet…and I’m sure you’ll buy several copies when it comes out. But here’s a Linnaea’s napkin with my John Hancock on it. Run along now. I must continue writing. And no pictures, please.
AUTUMN (aforementioned PRG): Um, thanks. But I just wanted to introduce myself and…Oh My God! (looks at Eve) Are you…one of the MERMAIDS??
EVE (in a slow deep voice to match Jay’s): Why, yes. Yes I am. I have no book coming out yet. But would you like an autograph anyway? Or a picture? How ‘bout a picture? (Eve whips out a camera) Or my used coffee cup? Would you like to take home my used coffee cup? You can keep it!
AUTUMN: Um, K. Thanks.
AUTUMN: Well, I’ve got to be going now. We were just passing through on our way home. My husband’s waiting for me. Um…bye. (Autumn goes out to the garden area to retrieve her husband and it’s COLIN FERRELL! OMG!!! They exit.)
And it’s all true! Okay, the beginning part is true. We really did meet AUTUMN CORNWELL in the coffee shop, and she really is in the Class of 2k7. And you really should check out her website and debut book coming out in September 2007! Coolest title ever…CARPE DIEM. It’s an adventure story set in Southeast Asia involving backpacking and squat toilets! I LOVE squat toilets!!
Great meeting you, Autumn. It was so much fun chatting. We must hang out again sometime when you’re not busy with your baby or your writing or traveling or hanging out with Colin Ferrell! Carpe Diem!!