Thursday, December 21, 2006

Disco Mermaid Down Time -- Robin

So what do the Disco Mermaids do when they’re not blogging or meeting for coffee or talking on the phone or swimming in hot tubs? Why, we email each other, of course! (As if we really need to spend any more time together!)

Our emails tend to fall into one of six categories. So I thought I’d share with you a taste of our tasteless emails we send back and forth to each other, all in the name of “work.” (The emails that follow are only ones written by me, as I was unable to get permission from my fellow Disco Mermaids to post theirs. Oh, that’s not true. I can’t post their emails because they cuss like frickin’ sailors!)

The first type of email we write is the typical MECHANICS FAILURE kind in which I can’t get Blogger to work…

Since we've changed to the new beta thing, do we need to go in and block our cookies!!?? I saw we had a bunch of hits from SLO with an sbcglobal address. Is that me? I can't figure out how to block myself! (Don't be nasty.)

Then we have your basic CALL ME email…

I have no idea if you're online tonight, but I just had some thoughts. If you've got nothing better to do, give me a call tonight, before 10, then I'm asleep.
If not, don't ever call me again.
It's over.

We also have the type of email in which we give INSTRUCTIONS FOR EDITING MY STUFF

So here's what I have written so far (minus the chapter I'm in the middle of right now). The first three chapters should be pretty polished so be very critical of those. For the rest, just see if you like it and the voice and make sure it's not totally cheesy and sucky. You know the drill.
Take your time with this. You have two hours...and...go!

Every once in a while we throw in an I’M A BAD MOTHER email (and by “we” I mean “me,” but you knew that)…

I'm such a bad mother. I've been so wrapped up in Jay's life this week that when I went to pick Luke up from school today he said, "It's okay, mommy, I don't want to go to my soccer practice." (In a thick British accent!) CRAP! What's wrong with me!? Soccer mom...forgetting soccer practice!? Am I evil? So I bought him a cookie. Much better.

And of course there’s always the HA, HA! I’M BETTER THAN YOU email (which I just sent to Jay and Eve last night and I’m still so proud of myself!)…

Two more pages...done.
Did anyone else write TWO whole pages today? Huh? Didja? Didja?
Uh-huh, uh-huh (running man dance with a little churning the butter going on).
Oh yeah!

And finally, there’s the ONCE IN A LIFETIME email. The one that you send to your best friend the day after he sold his first book and all of his dreams have come true…

Dear Jay,

I feel like we're completely different people today. Like our old selves died yesterday and now we're reborn as “an author and the two girls who want to be him” (minus the genitalia issue)

Here's what else I think...

1. The flowers you gave me were, seriously, the most beautiful flowers I've ever gotten. No joke. They are perfect.

2. I've had so much fun telling this story to everyone I come across. I had lunch with a couple of reporters from The Tribune today and they don't even know you, but they love you!

3. Your next book is going to be just as great. I know it, and we won't let you do any less. That's our job.

and finally...

4. This could not have happened to a better person. You deserve EVERYTHING that comes to you. You know that, right?

I'm sorry if this is sappy. I'd like to say that it's over and now I'll go back to making fun of you. But I'm not. I'm going to keep being sappy and cry happy tears and then hug on you so hard that your guts pop out.



Disco Mermaids said...

HA! Love this post, Robin. Did you have time to write this while you're sunning yourself silly down in Mexico?? (That's where she is right now, while Jay and I remain in icy cold snowy San Luis Obispo working diligently on our second books!!)

Funny that these are all real e-mails from you. Too bad you couldn't include some of the more saucy ones you send...I guess this is a family show.

(And when did Jay get promoted to your BFF? When did I get de-moted??)

rita said...

These emails are the greatest thing ever.