For a holiday treat (and because I'm still in a lazy, post-Christmas, food-induced coma) I've enlisted the help of my wonderful and very favorite sister, who is also a die-hard fan of our blog. So I'm turning tonight's blog posting duties over to my best (and only) sister, AMY! (WARNING: My family tends to be a little sarcastic...don't be shocked if she takes this time to publicly make fun of me and my seemingly easy (slacker) lifestyle.)
O.k., I'm a little nervous, but here goes - Since Eve's always way too busy to send holiday cards/letters, here's my idea of what her 2006 letter should say:
Hi ________(insert your name here) !
2006 was a very exciting year! Here are some highlights:
We rang in the New Year by banging pots and pans, then yelling at the neighborhood kids for setting off fireworks past our bed-time. The next morning, instead of enjoying football and jotting down our resolutions, we had to sweep the street to get rid of the detritus the hooligans left behind Anyway, it was an auspicious beginning to 2006.
In February, after several years of dedicated work, our two dogs won awards in their obedience classes! Marley was voted "Most Likely to Bust Into a Neighbor's House and Steal Food Without Getting Caught", while Brandy captured a new award they titled, "I Failed To Learn Anything In Obedience Class, But I'm So Freaking Cute That No One Cares." We were so proud and sure that this was a sign of things to come, we got her an agent, and we're hoping that Purina commercial comes through real soon.
Speaking of agents, I got one, too! She is the best thing to happen to my writing career since Jay, Robin and I started this blog. Seriously, I love her and she is so supportive of my work, I know great things are coming in 2007.
Aside from amassing awards and agents, I spent 2006 much the same way as 2005, 2004, and 2003... I sleep until the crack 'o noon, get up and caffeinate (at least eight shots of espresso), check my e-mails and wipe the kitchen counter, all while still in my jammies. Sometimes I go out of the house to run errands or meet Jay and/or Robin for lunch, but never before 3:00 p.m. I've kept up on all the best reality shows (Bo Bice got robbed, I tell you!), and have not missed a People magazine in months.
I also traveled a ton this year. Pre-liquid-bomb-scare, I never worried about what I packed. I could fly anywhere in the country with my favorite lip gloss and perfume on hand. Now, however, apparently Comptoir Sud Pacifique- Vanilla-Apricot perfume and Dior Super Shine lip gloss are serious threats to airline security. Traveling is so stressful, I tell you! (Especially without shiny lips!)
To cap off the year, we flew to Florida to visit my very favorite (only) sister and her (loud and obnoxious) family for Christmas. She was the most gracious hostess (even though she ran out of coffee) and made our stay as wonderful as if we were staying at five-star hotel (in some no-longer-existent Soviet country). It was a busy and exhilarating (exhausting) week. (My family wouldn't let me sleep in and forced me to exercise.) I can't wait for all the fun family trips we have planned for 2007! (Serenity, NOW!!)
(Okay, so Amy has a point. And though I'd like to say she was making fun of me, I can't deny that it's almost all true (except for the last paragraph of course), and that's pretty much how my holiday letter would go. Here's to me getting a life in 2007! Woo-Hoo!!)